Downright rude threads!

[luvofallhorses]

The worst part about the rude posts is when they hijack someone elses perfectly good thread. Personal attacks need to be taken to PM if at all. It's tough to read threads that have aggresive posts non-relevant to the thread. There's always a way to word a phrase or thought to make it constructive and if it can't be made more mellow it shouldn't be posted. There's so many good people here with a similar passion that it is silly to ruin other peoples threads with rudeness.

I agree.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Great thread! I am sick and tired of all the arguing that goes on here, most of the time for no reason whatsoever. Heck! Even apologies turn nasty

[Daisy and Delilah]

The worst part about the rude posts is when they hijack someone elses perfectly good thread. Personal attacks need to be taken to PM if at all. It's tough to read threads that have aggresive posts non-relevant to the thread. There's always a way to word a phrase or thought to make it constructive and if it can't be made more mellow it shouldn't be posted. There's so many good people here with a similar passion that it is silly to ruin other peoples threads with rudeness.

Very well said Craig. I think, for the most part, this board stays friendly almost all the time. I may be corrected here but I only see one or two members that could use some better manners and consideration. Those people know who they are. I have to add in: my Mother always taught is not to say anything if we can't say something nice. That's what I try to go with every person I come into contact with. I'm so sorry for all the nice PT'ers we have that have been unneccessarily criticized or made to feel bad. Some comments I read are absolutely ridiculous and uncalled for. You people know who you are and I sincerely hope that you have recognized your mistakes by now and plan to do something about it.
I have nothing against any young person on this board. It's not the age of the person but the behavior they exhibit. I know the age thing bothers alot of people. Most of our younger members here are as intelligent and respectable as the older members. I'm well aware that an older person could be just as rude and insensitive as a teenager. It's a pleasure to have all you younger members with us to give us new and fresh perspectives.
I hope and pray the bad apples will learn to act better and if they're having a bad day, keep it to themselves instead of criticizing others to make them feel better. It's not fair and it just ends up hurting alot of innocent people.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

hmm....quite a timely link here people

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

[Cataholic]

ZOWIE!! I **think** I just stumbled on the thread to which you were referring. If so, all I can say, from a mother's perspective, that would have broken my heart.

[Laura's Babies]

Once I see a thread going "sour" I don't post on it, don't even go back to see what is going on.. Life is to short!

[Blue_Frog]

I haven't been here all that long -only a few months- but i've seen fighting going on between certain people. But, having been to a lot of other forums, IRC chat rooms, and BBSs for years now its nothing unique to this particular board. I figure that it's just human nature, and not everyone is going to get along - people butt heads in families, at work, and here on the intarweb.

Is that an excuse for rudeness and bad behaviour however? No. Now, my take on it is that theres a couple reasons rudeness/fights come up.

Theres unintended rudeness - you post something that in your head sounds one way, and comes out entirely differently once you've written it out. Take the time to read it - people can't always read sarcasm, humour, or other feelings in a post because they're not there to hear you say it, read facial expressions, etc. Take for example the word 'Seriously!' - theres the dictionary definition for it, but used with a facial expression, can be taken many different ways ...

Seriously!
Seriously
Seriously!
Seriously

So, you write something, and people take offense to it. You make your apology, and people move on -or they don't- but you didn't mean to offend.


Then theres intended rudeness. This is referred to as "Trolling" - basically saying inflamatory things to get a rise out of people, and is farily common in forums that have a large number of members. I've seen this happen a few times before - one member someone posts something, and then the snippy comments come out about that person etc. in order to get them going, start a fight, or just make them feel bad - usually this happens between people who have some sort of history.

Honestly, thats just not cool. And, it makes a lot of other people uncomfortable to feel like they're stuck in the middle of something.

So, I guess it all goes back to the golden rule - try to treat others as you'd want to be treated, and apologize when its warranted.



Again with the -long posts- *sigh* ... I get on here to write one sentence and end up with a stinking novel :P



_A_

[Husky15]

One hundred percent agreed.

I truly don't know where I would be today if I had not found Pet Talk. I went onto Google and typed in Pet Forums and was lucky enough to come across PT. Once I joined Pet Talk and got to look around and stuff, I was amazed. Everybody was so nice and I did not see one person fight. I assumed that where this forum is all about pets and how we love them that people would be nice, but I never expected them to be this nice. Never once have I seen a forum where people were not at each other's throat. Most of the forums I've been on were full of foul language and everybody was yelling at everybody and dissing everything. There's just no other word to discribe Pet Talk but amazing.

That's the main reason why I continued posting on Pet Talk. And getting to see everybody's adorable pets and learn about them is wonderful. Everybody is so trusting here. Pet Talk is just one big family and it is very special to me.

Even my parents and sister notice a difference in me. My sister noticed that I smile a lot more now and my mother especially notices how much I've learned about animals and how much more I love them and appreciate them.

It is only natural that some people clash. Not everyone in this world gets along perfectly, and they are going to argue and fight and defend themself, it is only human nature. But we must remember to have self-control. Even I have to remember to because I can have quite a temper when I want to.

And we can disagree with other people's opinions and say that we disagree, but we must respect their opinion and they will respect our's. That's the one big thing that I remember when posting on a forum, because disrespect of opinions is what I find to be one big cause of fights.

All in all, I just don't like it when I see people fighting - especially on Pet Talk. Sure sometimes what people say can be funny, but it's fighting nonetheless. And personally, I do not wish to be on bad terms with anyone on this site.

What I often remind people is that this is Pet Talk - we are all here because we love pets. That separates us from the rest of humanity, but in a good way, so we should respect each other for that, despite our differences.

Exactly.

Again with the -long posts- *sigh* ... I get on here to write one sentence and end up with a stinking novel :P

You and me both lol.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Husky15 - I like it! Wish everyone could follow your example

[Husky15]

Husky15 - I like it! Wish everyone could follow your example

Thanks I try my best.

[lvpets2002]

Thank you & enough said..

Once I see a thread going "sour" I don't post on it, don't even go back to see what is going on.. Life is to short!

[buttercup132]

AMEN Cyber-sibes!!!

I have always given people the benefit of the doubt. I have also tried to treat people the way I would like to be treated, with respect. I have seen SO much disrespect and rudeness towards certain PTers on this board by others, who have not yet experienced all that life has to offer, if you know what I'm talking about. It makes me ill. If my daughter EVER spoke to any elder the way certain members speak to us, the OLDER generation, she'd have been grounded.

I also realize that everyone has their good and bad days, God only knows I'm guilty as well. But some members just seem to be rude and disrespectful ALL THE TIME!! It saddens me.

And you're right, it's so petty, some of the stuff being argued about. Don't apologize for ranting here. That's what we're here for, to listen and learn. I only wish some members would do just that, LISTEN AND LEARN!

JMO.

I am NOT trying to start a fight but you usually are rude to alot of the younger members on PT. Ive seen you post somthing nice to only a few of the younger memebers
And not everyone on PT knows how old everyone is.
Someone may think that someone is 13 but really they are 20.


I know the OP was talking about me and I have fixed what I said and explained myself

it's not right for anyone to be rude. Is it alright for an adult to be rude to a teen? No. Is it alright for a teen to be rude to an adult? No. I don't like it when the "respect those that are older" situation comes up. It's a two way street and both people are in the wrong.

I totally agree! I hate when adults think thats its ok. Its not, just because were younger dosent mean we are any less human and dosent mean we have any less feelings.

[shais_mom]

I remember the thread in question way back when this was posted but I must have missed this thread.
Honestly - I try and try and try to IGNORE the rudeness adult, young adult alike. But some days it just gets to me more than others. I was informed in PM earlier that I have "picked" on people. I may have but if I did it was b/c they were picking on someone else. I am a hugely passive aggressive person so for this to be thrown in my face...... I hate conflict but I can't stand the rudeness for any member. Young or old. Respect is a two way street - and to quote

- I hate when adults think thats its ok. Its not, just because were younger dosent mean we are any less human and dosent mean we have any less feelings.

That is entirely true but the 'youngin's need to remember that just b/c we are older that WE are any less human and doesn't mean WE have any less feelings.

**good thread - Pat **

[Miss Z]

I haven't been around on PT for a while so thankfully I think I've missed most of these arguments. I know in the past I've been involved in the odd one or two, but I really do try my best to steer well clear of the threads in question.

I understand the whole 'adults vs teens' prospective that some people have, but to be honest, I don't see it happening. Used to, in the first few months of my joining of this forum, but not any more. Now either I am blind and living on cloud nine or there's a lot more mutual respect on PT now.

One of the main reasons I generally keep out of arguments is that, strictly speaking, I do not know these people on a personal level. Of course, there are some people on here that I pm or chat to often and have become very friendly with them, and I'm sure that's the case with most people here, and other people that I do not know quite so well. However, having never met any of those people face to face, I do not have the right to have a full-blown rampage at them based purely on what they have written on a friendly site. Surely I can disagree and say what I think about a subject, but I don't need snide comments or teeth and claws to back up my point of view. Everyone here should know better than that.

[Rachel]

I don't know that I can add anything to what has already been posted here, other than when I occasionally read a thread that has turned heated over something seemingly petty, I try to read it over again to see what was so offensive to begin with. Sometimes I just don't see anything to take offense at. While I agree wholeheartedly that one shouldn't be rude, the other side of that coin is one shouldn't be so thin skinned that they look for insults when they just aren't there.

Then too I have a caveat on the *If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.* Some threads are seemingly a call for help or advice for a life situation fraught with difficulty. If the only response is *something nice*, that isn't very helpful. I don't mean that one should make a rude or uncaring remark, but suggestions which might not be what the poster was looking for might just be the ones which (in the responder's opinion) could be helpful.

Many topics are those which are going to generate a wide range of opinions. Be prepared for that. Don't jump down people's throat for the least little thing which you consider a slight. Remember when you speak about other people on this board, you are essentially doing it behind their back yet in a way they will overhear. I have run up on threads criticizing others which I would have been mortified had the talk been about something I did.

Personally I think an apology goes a long way. If upon reflection, one statements have been an ill thought out reaction, a heart felt *I'm sorry* might be a way to handle that mistake.