What's the deal? (crossposted by request)

[Sevaede]

Just to start off with: This is not directed at anybody in particular. This is just something(s) that I have noticed over my time here which has, consequently, made it a less enjoyable (hurt feelings or annoyed, etc) stay.

Why is it that when someone, who is not as well known or has the highest post, takes the time and effort to do write/type out a (heartfelt or slightly less than) topic, or reply, or anything, that some folks just blow it off? Sure, most will READ it but they won't reply to it. Even when someone makes a post or a reply about/to another member, it will go unnoticed or looked at but unreplied to. I can understand in the case where everything helpful has already been offered BUT I have noticed that this is not the case most of the time. I look and see a needy, or helpful, or otherwise, post go away with a hundred or more views yet no replies. Also, of course, this doesn't really apply to folks who have limited time (ten minutes during a lunch break, an hour at the library)

I feel that, sometimes, others are made out to be better or more worthy of replies or noticed at all because they've been here a certain amount of time or have a certain amount of posts. Or that somehow, miraculously, their opinion is supposed to be worth more than anothers.

I feel that there are several people (myself included) who contribute helpful information, advice, and whatnot, yet we can hardly get a response.

I feel like I'm in a car wreck and most people want to slow down to watch but very few get out to help.

I appreciate EVERY single response that I get. While some are a little harsh, excluding the seriously despicable ones, I still appreciate them. I appreciate and admire the folks behind them as well. Thank you to all the people on PT who have ever taken the time out to say hi, offer advice, or just be a friend. You guys are great.

[Sevaede]

All in all, I realize and understand that some folks have constraints, time or otherwise. I am referring to folks who DO have the time, and DO frequently post anyways.

I understand people wanting to reply to friends mostly because that's who/what they identify with. That's a refreshing perspective and somewhat of a reassurance!

I am not out to hurt any feelings. Sometimes we need to be reassured of things and when nobody comes to you when you need it then it's just kind of adds a little to the hurt, you know? I just want to make friends with folks but am pretty inept at doing things like that, obviously, heh. I am cool, I promise!

[Sevaede]

Yeah, sometimes I do feel like I'm in high school again. And sometimes I do feel like when I reply to another post to give advice that it gets ignored.

[catnapper]

I have been in a whirlwind all summer. I do read as many threads as possible and reply as much as I can. I often will be on and WANT to reply but don't because (and don't laugh) I don't want to hurt anyone else's feelings. I don't want them to say "wow, Kim is online and posting, so I know I can count on her to reply to my thread" and then when I don't reply, I don't want to hurt their feelings so I tell myself I'll go back and reply. I'll either forget to go back or think I DID reply and then end up never replying. This is the very reason I am now invisible. I'm lurking a lot more than I post anymore.

I also think it is humnan nature to respond to people who you feel are more your "friends" here. People who either are your age, or you feel a connection to through similar life experiences or they're in the same place in life that you're at.... anyway, I feel its more human nature to reply to one person over another first. I admit that I scan down to find my "friends" posts and answer them first. Then if I have more time and in the posting mood I'll go and reply to everyone else. Its simply human nature to seek out friends first then everyone else.

But all that said, I do feel lately my posts have gone ignored. Maybe everyone is tired of seeing the same three brown tabbies? and I suppose weekly updates of the baby isn't as exciting for everyone else as it is for me. Oh well, I still do enjoy posting, so I hope even though not everyone is replying ot my brown tabby and baby threads that I at least made someone smile for half a second while they looked at my photos.

[Karen]

Not everyone has the time to respond to each and every post. As I have mentioned many times in the past, the Views should mean more to folks than the posts. Just because someone has taken the time to read your post doesn't mean they can think of something to say in response. I have been a part of boards where people will respond just for the sake of responding, with nothing to say, and it gets pretty boring, pretty fast. I also appreciate that people often have time constraints on their computer usage, and many people can only see Pet Talk while they are at work, so we don't need to get folks in trouble for posting.

Remember, no one can make you feel bad without your consent. Choose to see the views as people who were interested in your post, and in what you had to say, because that's likely the truth.

[KitCat]

I have to agree with Karen. I only post if I think I have something relevant to say or is not a repeat of something someone else said. I really don't play favorites.

[catmandu]

I try to respond to the threads on Cat General, but I really should explore the Other Threads as well.
I will try to look at threads in the other boards as well.

[Sevaede]

Not everyone has the time to respond to each and every post. As I have mentioned many times in the past, the Views should mean more to folks than the posts. Just because someone has taken the time to read your post doesn't mean they can think of something to say in response. I have been a part of boards where people will respond just for the sake of responding, with nothing to say, and it gets pretty boring, pretty fast. I also appreciate that people often have time constraints on their computer usage, and many people can only see Pet Talk while they are at work, so we don't need to get folks in trouble for posting.

Remember, no one can make you feel bad without your consent. Choose to see the views as people who were interested in your post, and in what you had to say, because that's likely the truth.

I know that not everyone has the time. Also, I am well aware that some people have to use the work computers. I am understanding of this and had included that in my post. However, there ARE folks who frequent these boards a lot.

KitCat, I am NOT accusing anyone of playing favourites. I, AS WELL, do not play favourites and do not post unless I feel I have something else to contribute.