Story teller game

[GrandChester]

The Sasquatch tries to apply a head lock on Wom, but Wom ducks and pushes the Sasquatch's arms away. The two of them look one another over as they catch their breaths.

"Hold it!" shouts Elyse. "Can we all get along? We aren't going to loan Bonny to the circus. That's just not on. We're going to get back on the moped and..."

squirt gun

get outta this town..."Sasquatch you come with us. Turns out your bark is worse than your headlock"..laughs GrandChester.

"Has anyone seen Helen lately? asks Cassiesmom.

"Last I saw she was sitting up at the bar filling a squirt gun with her new cocktail concoction with Bradley! said Bill.

"We all need to concentrate on the tasks at hand". sighs Elyses. I am going to miss my reservations at Bellagio if we don't soon get to Vegas. Not to mention...

Dog days of summer

[wombat2u2004]

get outta this town..."Sasquatch you come with us. Turns out your bark is worse than your headlock"..laughs GrandChester.

"Has anyone seen Helen lately? asks Cassiesmom.

"Last I saw she was sitting up at the bar filling a squirt gun with her new cocktail concoction with Bradley! said Bill.

"We all need to concentrate on the tasks at hand". sighs Elyses. I am going to miss my reservations at Bellagio if we don't soon get to Vegas. Not to mention...

......that new rock group I've been waiting to see. I just love Dog days of summer, they are awesome."
"Oh can I be a groupie ???' Said Helen 'I've always wanted to be a groupie. Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to stalk a rock star."
"I used to be a rock star" Said Bill.
"True ???? Really Bill ??" Said Wom.
"Well, not a rock star as in the Dog days of summer rock star, but I did collect rocks, and I was a real star at it"
"Well then, can I stalk you Bill ??" Said Helen.
"What for ??' Said Bill 'I was a star at collecting rocks, not an actual rock star. There is a difference Helen. One sings rock songs and the other is like a geologist."
"Oh, I like geologists to' said Helen 'can I still stalk you ??"
"For goodness sakes' said Wom 'can we get going ???"
"Only if I can stalk Bill" Said Helen.
"OK OK already,' said Wom 'get into the moped everyone we have a deadline.......

Willie Nelson

[kokopup]

......that new rock group I've been waiting to see. I just love Dog days of summer, they are awesome."
"Oh can I be a groupie ???' Said Helen 'I've always wanted to be a groupie. Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to stalk a rock star."
"I used to be a rock star" Said Bill.
"True ???? Really Bill ??" Said Wom.
"Well, not a rock star as in the Dog days of summer rock star, but I did collect rocks, and I was a real star at it"
"Well then, can I stalk you Bill ??" Said Helen.
"What for ??' Said Bill 'I was a star at collecting rocks, not an actual rock star. There is a difference Helen. One sings rock songs and the other is like a geologist."
"Oh, I like geologists to' said Helen 'can I still stalk you ??"
"For goodness sakes' said Wom 'can we get going ???"
"Only if I can stalk Bill" Said Helen.
"OK OK already,' said Wom 'get into the moped everyone we have a deadline.......

to meet. Bill addresses Helen, " listen Helen I'm no Willie Nelson, even though I have a gray scragglie beard. I'm not a Geologist either, even though I collect rocks. I'm in the process of building a court yard, so I have been collecting rocks for years just to build a wall around my patio. You can stalk me if you would like but, I'd appreciate it if you would grab a rock for my collection every once in a while. You have probably wondered why I walk cattiewompus like I do. Well .....

"Rock of Ages"

[wombat2u2004]

to meet. Bill addresses Helen, " listen Helen I'm no Willie Nelson, even though I have a gray scragglie beard. I'm not a Geologist either, even though I collect rocks. I'm in the process of building a court yard, so I have been collecting rocks for years just to build a wall around my patio. You can stalk me if you would like but, I'd appreciate it if you would grab a rock for my collection every once in a while. You have probably wondered why I walk cattiewompus like I do. Well .....

......it's a very long story, but I'll make it a short story just for you. The truth is, when I had finally neared completion of the rock wall around my patio, the scaffold was three stories high by that time, and I was carrying the last rock up to put in place. I called this last rock the "Rock of Ages", because it took me ages to get that rock up onto the top of the wall. Well, you can imagine me standing up there on top of the scaffold, 60 feet above the ground, rock poised in my hand, and then the ladder broke. Down down down I tumbled, landing on one of my legs. And that, Helen, is why one of my legs is shorter than the other, and why I walk like Quasimodo."

"So did you ever get that last rock up onto the top of the wall ??" Said Wom.

"No, not yet' added Bill 'I've yet to have a special ladder made, one with every third rung made closer to the second rung, to compensate for my shorter leg. And then I will complete the wall."

"Gee Bill, this wall sounds kinda high." said Grand chester.

"Yeah' said Bonny 'it sounds to me like.............

Bigger production than Ben Hur

[cassiesmom]

"It sounds to me like Sasquatch here could help you get that last rock into place. He's a big guy."

"Uh-huh," grunts Sasquatch.

"No, no, no," answers Bill. "Getting there on the moped, with the big guy in tow, would be a bigger production than Ben Hur. No way, folks."

They head off to the Dog Days of Summer concert. Elyse asks, "How long will it take to reach the concert venue?"


kerfuffle

[wombat2u2004]

"It sounds to me like Sasquatch here could help you get that last rock into place. He's a big guy."

"Uh-huh," grunts Sasquatch.

"No, no, no," answers Bill. "Getting there on the moped, with the big guy in tow, would be a bigger production than Ben Hur. No way, folks."

They head off to the Dog Days of Summer concert. Elyse asks, "How long will it take to reach the concert venue?"

"About a year at this rate' said Wom 'Bonny keeps dragging her feet on the ground over the side of the moped."

"You can say that again" Said Grand Chester.

"About a year at this rate' said Wom 'Bonny keeps dragging her feet on the ground over the side of the moped."

"Shutup Wom" Said Grand Chester.

"Oh for goodness sake you two' said Elyse 'can't you at least behave yourselves ?? You get into kerfuffle after kerfuffle when we are on the road."

"Look everyone' said Bonny 'there's a billboard up ahead. It says the Dog Days of Summer concert has been cancelled due to lack of interest, and has been replaced with the 'Willie Nelson Has Finally Outlived His Pecker Show.' Can we go to that show instead ???"

"Well,' said Bill ' I think we...............................

Hitchhiking Willie

[kokopup]

wombat2u2004

"About a year at this rate' said Wom 'Bonny keeps dragging her feet on the ground over the side of the moped."

"You can say that again" Said Grand Chester.

"About a year at this rate' said Wom 'Bonny keeps dragging her feet on the ground over the side of the moped."

"Shutup Wom" Said Grand Chester.

"Oh for goodness sake you two' said Elyse 'can't you at least behave yourselves ?? You get into kerfuffle after kerfuffle when we are on the road."

"Look everyone' said Bonny 'there's a billboard up ahead. It says the Dog Days of Summer concert has been cancelled due to lack of interest, and has been replaced with the 'Willie Nelson Has Finally Outlived His Pecker Show.' Can we go to that show instead ???"

"Well,' said Bill ' I think we...............................

Need to give this a lot of thought. You know how Helen and Bonny act when they are around Celeb like Willy. Les we all forget our last Celeb encounter with Bradley Bradford Pear Pitt. I was hoping that we could just put that in our past. Now if we could just get the girls to cooperate we could have a nice show, and then maybe do some Hitchhiking Willie and have a free ride on the concert circuit. Wom you get Helen ready to turn on those .........

boxcars

[wombat2u2004]

wombat2u2004


Need to give this a lot of thought. You know how Helen and Bonny act when they are around Celeb like Willy. Les we all forget our last Celeb encounter with Bradley Bradford Pear Pitt. I was hoping that we could just put that in our past. Now if we could just get the girls to cooperate we could have a nice show, and then maybe do some Hitchhiking Willie and have a free ride on the concert circuit. Wom you get Helen ready to turn on those .........

.....headlights, it's getting dark, and if we are to get to where we are going, we'll need to keep moving."

"Good idea Batman." Said Wom.

"Do you mind, Wombat' Said Bill 'Just because I have pointy little ears, doesn't mean you can keep calling me Batman."

"Sorry' Said Wom. 'Helen !!! Make yourself useful, and turn on dem dere headlights."

"You better hurry up Helen' Said Bonny 'I think we're headed straight for a railroad crossing, and I think there's a train coming, and it's towing boxcars."

"Ahhhh memories memories' Said Elyse 'In my younger days when I was just a simple hobo, I travelled everywhere in a boxcar. Yep, just me and my old dawg. Travelling the countryside, scrounging a scrap of food here and a scrap of food there, singing Hallelujah I'm a Bum, those were the days."

Rabid Raccoon

[kokopup]

Wom

"Ahhhh memories memories' Said Elyse 'In my younger days when I was just a simple hobo, I travelled everywhere in a boxcar. Yep, just me and my old dawg. Travelling the countryside, scrounging a scrap of food here and a scrap of food there, singing Hallelujah I'm a Bum, those were the days."

I guess all was going our way, old dawg and me, until that fateful night. If only I had been a better custodian of Rover, the old dawg. I remember it, like it was just yesterday. Rover, the old dawg, was gnawing on a soup bone I had saved from the night before. All of a sudden it was on poor Rover, the old dawg, like stink on limburger. We found out a rabid Raccoon had been identified and since Rover, the old dawg was just one big raccoon bite I was forced to put Rover, the old Dawg, down. It was a sad day for the campfire group and nothing was the same after that. I gave up those glorious ......

Stock Broker

[wombat2u2004]

Wom

I guess all was going our way, old dawg and me, until that fateful night. If only I had been a better custodian of Rover, the old dawg. I remember it, like it was just yesterday. Rover, the old dawg, was gnawing on a soup bone I had saved from the night before. All of a sudden it was on poor Rover, the old dawg, like stink on limburger. We found out a rabid Raccoon had been identified and since Rover, the old dawg was just one big raccoon bite I was forced to put Rover, the old Dawg, down. It was a sad day for the campfire group and nothing was the same after that. I gave up those glorious ......

....carefree days, and decided to become a Stock Broker, but changed my mind the very next day. Oh yeah gang, I've done it all. Everything from being a McDonalds Drive Thu Waitress, to being a Bricklayer. Yep, I've done it all.
But I've always wanted to be a Brain Surgeon. Ever since I was a little girl I've wanted to be a Brain Surgeon. I guess that dream began when I was only 10 years old. It all began during that baseball game when I bashed the umpire over the head with the bat, you should have seen it, his temporal lobe went flying over the field to be caught by an outfielder.....yep....I was caught out.
So Bonny, tell us about your life."

Shortest kid in the world

[Bonny]

Well I was the shortest kid in the world until GaryColeman happened along. Then I became the oldest shortest adult in the world after Gary Coleman passed away. R.I.P. Gary That's my life in two short sentences.

What about you Wom?


floating bottle

[wombat2u2004]

Well I was the shortest kid in the world until GaryColeman happened along. Then I became the oldest shortest adult in the world after Gary Coleman passed away. R.I.P. Gary That's my life in two short sentences.

What about you Wom?

"Ahhhh Bonny Bonny Bonny' Said Wom 'you are such a floating bottle when it comes to telling stories about yourself. Tell us all first about the Shetland Pony you got for your 21st birthday, and the extendable ladder you needed to climb up onto the pony. And while your at it, tell us about the time you bit Snow White on the kneecap during that school play where you played Grumpy.
And after that, I'll tell you all about Wom"

Size 1 shoe fits all midgets

[Bonny]

"Ahhhh Bonny Bonny Bonny' Said Wom 'you are such a floating bottle when it comes to telling stories about yourself. Tell us all first about the Shetland Pony you got for your 21st birthday, and the extendable ladder you needed to climb up onto the pony. And while your at it, tell us about the time you bit Snow White on the kneecap during that school play where you played Grumpy.
And after that, I'll tell you all about Wom"

Size 1 shoe fits all midgets

Thanks Wom for spilling the beans. Snow White had it coming she stepped on my Size 1 shoe fits all midgets & I bit her in the knee cap to get her attention. The ditz a bella was off in La La Land as usual.

Me & my pony Rascal were the best of buds. When I turned 21 it was a BIG day for me. He stood while I climbed the extendable ladder & once I was in the saddle it was RC Rodeo time. Rascal took off bucking like he had a burr under his saddle. You could not see daylight under the saddle because I hung on like a monkey.

Those were the good ole days when I was young & full of piss & vinegar. Now I am just hanging in there wearing my pull up & on diapers & Rascal has departed this world for the rainbow bridge. Life can be sad but you have to look on the bright side I am going to collect my first Social Security check in November. Maybe I will be able to get some dentures then along with hearing aids, a wig for my bald head, & go have a happy meal at Mc Donalds.

Now how about it Wom give it your all & tells us about the real you.


Dunken Donuts

[GrandChester]

Thanks Wom for spilling the beans. Snow White had it coming she stepped on my Size 1 shoe fits all midgets & I bit her in the knee cap to get her attention. The ditz a bella was off in La La Land as usual.

Me & my pony Rascal were the best of buds. When I turned 21 it was a BIG day for me. He stood while I climbed the extendable ladder & once I was in the saddle it was RC Rodeo time. Rascal took off bucking like he had a burr under his saddle. You could not see daylight under the saddle because I hung on like a monkey.

Those were the good ole days when I was young & full of piss & vinegar. Now I am just hanging in there wearing my pull up & on diapers & Rascal has departed this world for the rainbow bridge. Life can be sad but you have to look on the bright side I am going to collect my first Social Security check in November. Maybe I will be able to get some dentures then along with hearing aids, a wig for my bald head, & go have a happy meal at Mc Donalds.

Now how about it Wom give it your all & tells us about the real you.


Dunken Donuts

"Thats funny Bonny"! snorts Helen. Well, not about poor Rascal or your baldness"!

"Holy Drunken-Dunken Donuts BatMan"! replies GrandChester. Better pull up a chair cuz this is gonna be a real humdinger! "I can recall one story very vivid WomBat and thats when you"...

Tequilla worm.

[wombat2u2004]

"Thats funny Bonny"! snorts Helen. Well, not about poor Rascal or your baldness"!

"Holy Drunken-Dunken Donuts BatMan"! replies GrandChester. Better pull up a chair cuz this is gonna be a real humdinger! "I can recall one story very vivid WomBat and thats when you"...

........and a bunch of your mates tried to fish a tequilla worm out of a bottle of cheap imported Mexican plonk. Tell us about it Wombat"

"Well gang, I'll tell ya'all.' Said Wombat 'There we were, me, me mate Bruce, and some sheila by the name of Pinabullana (yeah folks, she was Aboriginal), sitting in the pub one day. The sheila made a bet with me and Bruce that she could get the worm out of the bottle quicker than we could. Me and me mate Bruce tried and tried to remove the worm from that bottle of evil elixer, but to no avail.
We tried everything, even Fong Whoflungdung (the Chinese cook) gave us a lend of his own chopsticks....but no....every time we had that little sucker cornered, he would escape. After about two hours of this, the sheila had had enough, and said it was her turn. Before we could bat an eyelid, the sheila grabbed the bottle, and smashed it over her own head, and in one swift move she caught the worm between her teeth and gulped it straight down."
Me and Bruce sat their flabbergasted. I said to her 'how did you do that?' The sheila replied 'Well for a starters, I never sat there and picked my nose like you and your mate did for tha last two hours, and I have won the bet, so pay up.' Just then, much to me and Bruce's amazement, the sheila starts to sway and stumble around the pub, and all of a sudden she fell flat on her face out the door. 'I'll be buggered' Bruce said. 'Crikey' I said. And then a bunch of Aboriginal guys all dressed up in kangarro skins and feathers arrived (I think they were witchdoctors) and they carried her away. That's when I said to me mate Bruce 'Bruce, you can put the cigarettes away now, looks like we won't have to give her that smoke she won.' And that's the end of the story folks."

"Wom' Said Bill. 'That story is great, tell us another one"

"Ok' Said Wom 'but first we should listen to a story from Grand Chester"

"Oh I've got a great story' Said Grand Chester 'Once upon a time..........

Sitting Bull