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Thread: Our PT joke thread

  1. #376
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
    Posts
    20,176
    Hee hee! Funny! All kinds of darling dogs there.

    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

    -- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery

  2. #377
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,394
    From my great nephew, who is 5 ... How do you make a banana split? Open the door! :

    He thinks it's the Funniest Joke Ever
    Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  3. #378
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    6,498
    Blog Entries
    2
    Quote Originally Posted by CathyBogart View Post
    Michael Vick's jury has been chosen...

    There is nothing remotely funny about Michael Vick, period. Nothing, zero and.... I have an excellent sense of humour. If someone is capable of what he is allegedly accused of, dude needs years of physiological help. And, that will never undo what he did. Sick ****.

  4. #379
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Kentucky, LAND OF THE EASILY AMUSED
    Posts
    25,224
    Well,
    How do you make a venetian blind?


    Poke his eyes out.
    The secret of life is nothing at all
    -faith hill

    Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all -
    Together we stand
    Divided we fall.

    I laugh, therefore? I am.

    No humans were hurt during the posting of this message.

  5. #380
    Join Date
    Apr 2019
    Location
    United States
    Posts
    2

  6. #381
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,394
    From a neighbor’s grandson (he’s 6):

    What should you give your dad for a snack on Father’s Day? POPcorn!

    he thinks it’s the Funniest Joke Ever

  7. #382
    Great jokes! Keep it up!

  8. #383
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,394
    From the neighbor’s grandson again. Where do sheep go for summer vacation? - To the Baa-hamas

  9. #384
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA
    Posts
    20,176
    Oh, that's great! Thanks, Elyse!

    I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
    Death thought about it.
    CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

    -- Terry Pratchett (1948—2015), Sourcery

  10. #385
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,394
    From my neighbor’s grandson.
    Q: What should you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?
    A: A pumpkin patch :eyeroll:

  11. #386
    Join Date
    May 2017
    Location
    USA, previously Europe
    Posts
    2,598
    Quote Originally Posted by cassiesmom View Post
    From my neighbor’s grandson.
    Q: What should you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?
    A: A pumpkin patch :eyeroll:
    He's a funny kid!
    Willa (5/1/1997-3/17/2018)

  12. #387
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,394
    My neighbor told me this joke, which I'm to tell his grandson at the next visit (probably over the weekend). What falls down every winter but never gets hurt? Snowflakes.
    Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  13. #388
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,394
    Heard on the radio. The governor of Illinois issued a shelter in place order that went into effect yesterday.

    What kind of humor is best while you are sheltering in place? Inside jokes. (groan)
    Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

  14. #389
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Kentucky, LAND OF THE EASILY AMUSED
    Posts
    25,224
    What is the first curse words a dogwalker learns on the job?

    Oh S---!
    The secret of life is nothing at all
    -faith hill

    Hey you, don't tell me there's no hope at all -
    Together we stand
    Divided we fall.

    I laugh, therefore? I am.

    No humans were hurt during the posting of this message.

  15. #390
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Illinois, USA
    Posts
    28,394
    From my neighbor's grandson again. Where do cows go on a Saturday night? To the moo-vies
    Praying for peace in the Middle East, Ukraine, and around the world.

    I've been Boo'd ... right off the stage!

    Aaahh, I have been defrosted! Thank you, Bonny and Asiel!
    Brrrr, I've been Frosted! Thank you, Asiel and Pomtzu!


    "That's the power of kittens (and puppies too, of course): They can reduce us to quivering masses of Jell-O in about two seconds flat and make us like it. Good thing they don't have opposable thumbs or they'd surely have taken over the world by now." -- Paul Lukas

    "We consume our tomorrows fretting about our yesterdays." -- Persius, first century Roman poet

    Cassie's Catster page: http://www.catster.com/cats/448678

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