joke thread

[krazyaboutkatz]

LOL Everyone. These jokes are great.

[Former User]

One day in the hospital, two little boys were lying on stretchers next to each other outside of the operating room. The first boy leans over and asks, "What are you in for?"
"I'm here to get my tonsils out and I'm nervous," the second boy says.
The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about! I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of ice cream and Jell-O. It's a breeze!"
"Well what are you here for?" the second kid asks.
"A circumcision." The first kid replys woefully.

The second kid says "Wow! I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year!"

[anna_66]

A new teacher is trying to make use of her Psychology courses. She starts her class by saying,
"Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up." After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am," he says, "but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."
*************************************************
SMILE SOUTHERN STYLE
>
>
> Did you hear about the guy from Alabama who
> passed away an left his entire estate to his beloved
> widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's
> 14.
>
> How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky
> hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I
> gotta leak in my sink," and the front desk replies,
> "Go ahead."
>
> How can you tell if a Tennessee redneck is
> married? There is dried tobacco juice on both sides
> of his pickup truck.
>
> Did you hear that they have raised the minimum
> drinking age in West Virginia to 32? Seems they want
> to keep alcohol out of the high schools!
>
> What do they call rerun of "Hee Haw" in Alabama?
> Documentaries.
>
> Where was the toothbrush invented? Mississippi.
> If it were invented anywhere else, it would have
> been called a teethbrush.
>
> A Georgia State trooper pulls over a pickup on
> I-75 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D.?" driver
> replied, "Bout wut?"
>
> Did you hear about the $3 million Arkansas State
> Lottery? The winner gets $3 a year for a million
> years.
>
> Did you hear that the governor's mansion in
> Alabama burned down? Yep. Pert' near took out the
> whole trailer park. The library was a total loss,
> too. Both books - poof! - up in flames and they
> hadn't even finished coloring one of them.
>
> A new law recently passed in West Virginia. When
> a couple gets divorced, they're STILL brother and
> sister.
>

[anna_66]

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.

One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."

The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."

POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."

POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.

The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"

The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."

[flamepony12]

I thought this needed to be bumped up.. too funny. I have a joke to add as well. Not sure if this has been posted yet.

...

During the war in Iraq, one of George Bush's assistants walks into his office and sadly tells him, "Unfortunatly, three Brazilian men were killed in Iraq today."

Bush puts his head down on the table and moans. One assistant tells the other, "Wow, we've lost tons of men in Iraq already. I've never seen him this reactive to the news."

The first assistant asks Bush, "We've lost many men. Why are you so devastated this time?"

Bush slowly lifts his head and sadly asks, "How many is a Brazilian?"

[.sarah]

That's great!!

[krazyaboutkatz]

LOL Great jokes everyone. Here's a funny cartoon.

[Former User]

At a party, Albert Einstein introduces himself to the first person he sees and immediately asks, "What is your IQ?"
"241," the man replies.
"Wonderful!" Albert says. "We will talk about the Grand Unification Theory and the mysteries of the universe. We will have much to discuss!"
Albert then introduces himself to a woman nearby, asking, "And what is your IQ?"
The lady answers, "144."
"Great!" says Albert. "We can discuss politics and current affairs. We will have much to discuss!"
Moving around the room, Albert pulls aside another man and asks, "What is your IQ?" to which the man answers, "51."

Albert lets go of his arm and takes his hand to shake it, saying, "Hello Mr. President!"

[krazyaboutkatz]

Here are some more funny pics.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Here's a brave puppy.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Here's one cool rabbit.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Here's a dog with a lot of spirit.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Here's a man with a very bad headache.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Here's a funny fryer.

[AmberLee]

Cute ones, KAK! Really appreciate the chuckles! Thanks.