Desperate Help Needed - Noah

[Pawsitive Thinking]

You are going to be so happy there - it looks wonderful

[NoahsMommy]

Thank you all so much for the nice comments on the pictures of my new place. Oh how I long to be there, to have all this overwith.

I had a setback last night involving my brother. You know, it seems as though the only person I'll be talking to that are actually related to me will be my grandmother.

Sit back and grab some popcorn...here's a story for you all. Audience participation requested as I'm conflicted and really need advice.

OK...First, let me give you a little background information. I had thought my brother, of all people, would understand why I'd want to get the heck out of my parents house. He, about 6 years ago, left our family for over 4 years. He didn't dramatically leave - we all met him on his 21st birthday for breakfast (we as in our whole family: mom, Jerry, me, David, aunt, uncle, cousins, etc.) and shortly afterwards, we never saw him again! He stopped returning our phone calls altogether and his phone was disconnected. We tried his friends, I tried his ex-girlfriend and her family who I KNEW was in contact with him and they refused to help me find him for my wedding (!!!!!) or he just didn't want to come, who knows. He ended up "finding himself" or that's what mom and I call it as when he called 4 years and 6 months later on Easter mid-day, he never offered an explaination. We've had him in our lives again and mom acts as though he's the prodigal son. I get that she doesn't want to do anything to make him go away again, but its like we're reverting back to when we were kids. Kevin always got away with EVERYTHING, I didn't even ATTEMPT to do anything remotely bad and I STILL got in trouble for stupid things.

Anyway, in the past 6 or so months, Kevin hasn't been acting himself...not the Kevin I knew and loved. I think he has a drug problem, he's aggressive, mean, rude and really moody. I went on a "will NEVER, EVER do that again" camping trip with Kevin and Krista in August and it was torture because I didn't drive and was stuck there with him. He picked up and threw my tent accross the campsite, never thanked me for giving them all the money I had (I wasn't working) to my name for extra food (I brought my own), alcohol (I don't drink), and the camping spot which he complained about the entire time, was aggressive with Krista (she's a tiny thing and he's a burly iron worker) and interchanged being RUDE to me or ignored me the entire trip. What horrible act did I do to deserve such treatment? I spoke back when he turned his agression and mean attitude towards ME. (oh no he didn't!!) This was after holding my tongue for the entire ride up there, 2 hours trying to find his friends in a huge, dark camping spot (who finally pulled up after the tent throwing incedent), checking in (with MY money), and him yelling at us for not being able to find his friends and that his cell phone didn't work! I spent the entire weekend without cell service either and ignored by him. Krista, who I thought was smart enough to remain on my side (you know what I mean) was all NICE to him after the oh, 10 blow up fights they had in 36 hours! Not only that, but they would go fishing and I'm thinking I'm a guest and would get to go too...yea, no. They'd pick up the poles Kevin got all ready (they brought 4 and he'd gotten all 4 ready each time) and Krista would say,"OK, Kelly, we're going to go fishing (at this point, I'd stand as if I was taking this as an invite, silly me!) now, so we'll see you later." (doh! OK, guess I'll just stay here then!) Oh what fun I had!!!!!!!!!!!! I sat at a hot, gross campsite. Thankfully, his friends were actually NICE and I spent the time with them. See, I'm not bed, your friends seem to like me, you jerk! Two days later when we got home, Kevin called to say Krista had broken up with him. Hmmmm, I wonder why?

Of COURSE, they're back together and he'll be good for 5 minutes and then be back to his druggie, mean, aggressive, demanding, self. NICE! At TWO of my mom's social functions he's publically fought with Krista (she had manners and tries to get him to stop or at least go outside) and then LEFT the function with her stuck there! All my parents friends see this, or notive Kevin not there and start asking my mom and I questions which utterly humiliate her. She's been saying for a full year that she's "going to have a TALK with him!!" with her stern face on. Yea...that'll happen!

And I do what, to warrant that type of "talk" from my mom? go out on a Sunday with my GRANDMA and stay out till 9:00 or 9:30? Yes, I'm such a bad daughter, so inconsiderate!!!

Anyway, sorry for all that. My posts seem to be getting longer and drama filled. So, I think my brother is still taking whatever the heck drug causes you to be evil, because he's been an utter s*it to me!!

Here's what has happened since my last update on the apartment/escaping plans/issues:

*As I updated you all, I spoke with Krista on Thursday night about my plans and she was very supportive: offering to help me move, to get dads truck so I wouldn't have to encure that cost, telling me that they'd do anything they could to get my parents out of the house for me, etc, etc. We talked some more and I kind of told her about our childhood, something Kevin NEVER talks about to her - isn't that kind of wierd? I mean, NEVER talks about. Who would date someone that wont talk about his childhood, thats what relationships are, the good AND the bad. If anything, at least she'd be able to understand some of the crap he puts her through! I'm just amazed, she's such a mature, smart girl, I don't know why she's wasting her time. (ugh, sorry, wrong thread!!) Anyway, she did say that he told her the reason he wasn't living with or talking to his family when she was with him those years we weren't talking/knew where he was, that he "didn't agree with the rules his mom had" and so "I moved away for awhile". OK, so obviously SOMETHING happened you didn't like. You told Krista that! She told me that she'd let me tell Kevin the good news and that my secret was safe with them, and that she was proud of me and really excited for me.

*That call to Krista was 1 of 4 I made to their phones. 1 each to their cell phones, 1 to the phone in their room and 1 to the main home number - which she picked up. So based on the messages I left, they knew, "I had some really good news I wanted to share with them. To call me so I could tell them the news and that btw, its something I DONT want mom and Jerry to know about." That was Thursday night.

*I'm in my room on Sunday night and my brother calls JUST as my mom and Jerry walk into the house, so I tell Kevin, "I can't talk, but I'm moving out, to an apartment, mom and Jerry CANT know...I can't talk, but I'll text you and call you tomorrow, OK???" I hang up and text him the following: 'Kev, I cant talk now because mom and jerry are home and they ALWAYS seem to listen! I can call u tomorrow to tell u about it? hugs, kelly'

*I leave my phone off during the day...and also when I'm in an appt, going through a line (anywhere)

Gotta go, will finish when I get home...

[moosmom]

Kelly,

Sure sounds like drugs to me. Either Crystal Meth or something else. You need to concentrate on yourself and your cats. Your brother is a big boy and can take care of himself. The less you worry about your family and brother, the stronger you'll grow.

And don't feel bad about your brother packing up and leaving. I have my only living sibling (brother, older by 5 years) sell his house in Shrewsbury, Mass. and move to Hendersonville, NC without even telling me!!!! I had no clue he sold his house until one day I happened to ask him. He has totally disassociated himself from the rest of the family (cousins) and hadn't spoken to my father in 20 years before he died. The only time I see him is at weddings and funerals. To this day I just don't understand why. Don't think I'll ever get an answer.

I'm so very happy for you, Kel. If anyone deserves a break, it's you. I'm excited about your new place and getting every one of your furkids back.

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))

Donna

[shais_mom]

Kelly,

Sure sounds like drugs to me. Either Crystal Meth or something else.
(((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))

Donna

I was actually wondering about steroids after some reading I did tonite.

[Cinder & Smoke]

Not to change tha subject back to Noah ...

Edit ... never mind.

[shais_mom]

Not to change tha subject back to Noah ...

you could PM her.
You DO realize this is one of the hardest things she has had to do in her life right?
She's pouring her heart out here - she is trying to get the support from her PET TALK family that she is sorely lacking at home

that said Phred - go drink a nice cup of tea and pat yourself on the back for a job well done with the WOODY ESCAPADE - you do deserve it...

[dukedogsmom]

Kelly,
I hope all this drama ends soon. I know you won't miss it. I finally made Brody's moms and my payment today. I can't wait till he's with you!

[NoahsMommy]

*Basically, I got 4 missed calls from him during the day. I got 3 voicemails (that I just later deleted without listening to) from him. I get in the car after the spa sessions (soooooo wonderful, btw, JUST what the Doc ordered! ) and call Kevin. I can tell from how he says, "hello" (that, and his multiple calls) that he's back in his "camping mood" - just what I DONT need.

Long story short (I promise this time), he tells me that he thinks I should TELL my mom that I'm leaving. When I ask 'why??' in my "are you CRAZY??' voice, he says, "Because, they gave you a place to live!" as if I'm some ungrateful child!

I'm sorry, but WHO THE HELL is HE to say that to me??? A flood, no, a million TIDAL WAVES came rushing through my brain of feelings and memories as if they'd been waiting for the action or words from Kevin that would just be IT. Done. Here they come and there's no backing up those waves! At once, I remembered everything I went through because of the *hit KEVIN pulled growing up - not normal brother stuff - we're talking I had ZERO social life because Kevin was the bad boy who needed constant supervision and thus had to have someone at home for him in case of ANYTHING, so guess who HAD to be stuck at HOME every summer from 5th grade to 12th grade? I lost so many friends - what teenage wants to stay at someone's house all the time??? All the stuff he pulled, landed BOTH of us on our "dad hates us" list. I've covered for him for years and years. When he'd get in trouble while I was home and he was out doing whatever he wanted, I'd get in trouble as I was supposed to "guess" when he was being bad....ect.etc.etc. That is just ONE example of all the crap they pulled on me! I've "gotten over it" in that I accept it as poor education on my mom's part and that one day, Kevin will thank me for all I've done for him. Guess I hafta figure out how to get over it again, huh??

I guess I've resented them both for ruining my childhood, but Kevin was a mixed up kid. Now that he's older, he just, well is becoming a loser. I was shocked that he didn't see my side - I've always been there for HIM and took his side because he was my brother. Now, when I'm FINALLY able to get out on my own - a feat that has been impossible with my body causing my life to crash down around my ears - he acts as though our wonderful, perfect mother is the victim in all this! That I, the only one that's had his back since Day 1, am the ungrateful one.

Why? Is it because I'm finally, for the first time, thinking of myself for a change? If thats ungrateful....that good, I'll be it. If it means being free and clear of the not only TOXIC, but truly mean people, then you can call me whatever you want!

I'm sad that I have to loose him too. He's said he'll help me with whatever I need help with...and promises not to tell my mom. But, we'll see.

I'm just so ready for it to be 2/2. I'll be HOME, finally and with my kitties - all four - and with a new roomie! Then on 2/3, we'll wake up together - one meowmie, one ball of kitty in OUR bed, finally.

And I'll have gotten through it...because my PT Family is fabulous and wonderful and the family God found for me.

Thank you all so very much!!!

Love you ALL,
Kelly, Noah, Basie, Phoebe & My Micah

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

[NoahsMommy]

Hey guys,

I have a call into Balcom to check on the balance...now that I'm thinking, I made a call to them on Saturday inquiring about the same thing that they haven't returned. Hmm....I think I'll call back again. Pestering usually works!

I'll let you know what I find out as soon as I know it.

Hugs,
Kelly and our Spa Resident (not for long, buddy, better soak up all that Spa-ness while you can, you're coming HOME baby kitten!!! ), Noah-kins

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Kelly - stop worrying about your brother, your parents, your grandma and start concentrating on you!!!!

[Laura's Babies]

No wonder you get so sick. That is such a toxic family that you should do what your brother did and get out and cut off all communications. I wouldn't trust him to keep quiet about you moving out either much less showing up on moving day. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and hope this all comes off without a hitch and you get some peace in your life.

[NoahsMommy]

Kelly - stop worrying about your brother, your parents, your grandma and start concentrating on you!!!!

No wonder you get so sick. That is such a toxic family that you should do what your brother did and get out and cut off all communications.

You both are 100% correct. I KNEW I'd start "feeling bad" getting close to move date, and I knew I'd need you all to remind me WHY I'm getting the H*LL out of there.

Thank you!!

P.S. I called Balcom this morning and left a message to please leave the balance on my voicemail if I'm unable to pick up my phone when they call. So at least I can give you a balance update on Noah James. YAY! I also told them I'm coming to pick him on/around 2/2 and needed to see if that is an "OK" day for pickup. (They have certain days you can drop off and pick up. I think Saturday is OK for pickup, but don't want any surprises!

[moosmom]

Kelly,

I am so proud of you, honey. You've come so very far. I think being away from such toxicity is going to be just what the doctor ordered.

You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Huge (((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))) )))))))))))

DONNA

[Pawsitive Thinking]

I KNEW I'd start "feeling bad" getting close to move date, and I knew I'd need you all to remind me WHY I'm getting the H*LL out of there.

Its only natural - when you leave somewhere or someone you tend to only remember the goods bits but if you ever doubt you are doing the right thing picture yourself still living there this time next year reading back on this thread...........

[NoahsMommy]

You are so right, thank you!! (((Hugs)))

************************************************** **

Noah Uppydate:

OK, a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE THANK YOU to all my PT Family who helped get Noah's balance to a manageable size...and to all those that are constantly here for me and my kitties...Thank you all so very much!!! For everything!!

Noah's balance when I pick him up will be $260.00 on Saturday 2/2 between 2:00 and 4:00 pm! You guys are so amazing....I mean, there truly was no other place for my Noah. For those that had the uh, pleasure (??) of meeting Mr. Noah Nawtee Cat, know that there is no way I could have inflicted him on anyone. Of course he picks NOW to finally come around. Silly boy! But that'll work in our favor with Kristin and he needs to be nice to her, especially! So, I guess it all worked out, right??

I cannot, will not be able to convey how much I love you guys, how much you've done for me and my kitties. The support alone, that you knew I was doing the right thing - when everyone else (nearly) in my life thought I was CRAZY! to keep my kitties, no matter what it took. I KNEW I'd be at this point...and I'm almost there.

OK, I probably should get something done at work.

Hugs, Love & Gratitude FOREVER,
Kelly & Noah