How did you feel when you 'moved out'?

**lv4dogs** · 02-07-2006, 02:16 PM

Well my upbriniging seems different than yours. I moved out for the first time at age 13. Loved every minute of it. Don't get me wrong I LOVE my parents but gosh I could not imagine still living with them.
I have so much freedom living on my own but what makes it really special is those moments that I do spend with my family are so much more meaningful & special because it's not an every day thing anymore.

I am sorry if I am prying into personal territory here but I don't know if I understand your living conditions properly. You are already married but have always lived at your parents house?

**K9karen** · 02-08-2006, 01:53 AM

This may sound odd to most of you, but although I had plenty of chances, I never moved out of my parents' house. My dad wanted me to save money. Plus I had a wonderful job, and travelled constantly, all over the world. i had a terrific relationship with my mom too. My parents were rather liberal in certain aspects. They trusted their kids. They loved all my friends and our home was an open door to every race, creed, sexual orientation, everyone. In fact, my friends practically lived at my house. My brother and I never had curfews, as long as we kept in touch, I was never grounded. We always had an open, honest relationship and I loved being there. I had my own space and they rarely bothered me. That's one of the main reasons I home cared both parents during their illnesses until I no longer could do it. I owed them the respect they gave me.
PCB, it sounds like your realtionship with your mom is similar to mine. I'm going to say honestly, that it isn't going to be easy. Now that my mom, my best friend, is gone, the lonliness is sometimes unbearable, just to be able to talk. But even if you do have to move farther away than you want, your life is now with your husband and you have a beautiful future to look forward to. I'm sure you'll be talking to her on the phone everyday. And I'll bet, she'll miss you terribly too, but wants you to be happy and realizes that you're starting a new life.

**gini** · 02-08-2006, 12:06 PM

PCB I just had this thought. More than likely your Mom had the same experience. She had to leave her home and parents too - when she married your father. You might think about talking to her and ask her to share her feelings and that could lead to an understanding and ease the pain for both of you.

You will be just fine - and will enjoy every minute of being a new wife - and partner to your husband.

**Glacier** · 02-08-2006, 12:45 PM

I was 17. I moved 3 hours away to go to school. My Mom says she cried all the way back to her home after dropping me off. I clearly remember my Dad coming into my room that morning in tears. It was the first time I'd ever seen my Dad cry. I remember being upset when Mom left, but it didn't last long. I love my parents and we have a good relationship, but I had been planning this move since I was 10 at least. I've never been back for longer than 10 days to visit. Now it would take me thee days to drive back there!

I have three siblings, all of whom work for my Dad's company, my parents can look into my sister's house from theirs, my brothers live 10 minutes away. I am the only one of their kids who they don't see or talk to every day. At the most they see me twice a year. I try to call twice a week. I've only recently realized how hard that is for them, but they are very understanding. Both of them say they have always known that I would be the one to leave. I enjoy my visits with my family, but it also reminds me every time that I could never live there again! I don't in any way regret where my life has taken me.

**lizbud** · 02-08-2006, 06:19 PM

Originally Posted by gini

PCB I just had this thought. More than likely your Mom had the same experience. She had to leave her home and parents too - when she married your father. You might think about talking to her and ask her to share her feelings and that could lead to an understanding and ease the pain for both of you.

You will be just fine - and will enjoy every minute of being a new wife - and partner to your husband.

I think this is a wonderful idea.

Now that your relationship will be
changing in some ways, you can still feel close to you Mother in a different
& closer way.