For teens and moms of teens... (womanly issues)

[gemini9961]

Your husband needs to get over it and realize his little girl is not going to go out there and start sleeping with all these guys just because she's on the pill. He needs to give her more creidt than that. She is awful pain because of her period and she needs to be helped. The pill can help tremendously with her cramps and if they are still troublesome, there are prescription meds her doctor can prescribe that could help as well. My parents put me on the pill when I was her age because they didn't want me to get pregnant. I was not even having sex at the time, but looking back on it I really respect my parents for having the courage to come to me and put me on the pill for my own safety. They told me right upfront that this was not a license for me to have sex, but rather if I did that I would be more protected. I would rather talk to my daughter about sex and be open with it then have her come home pregnant at a young age. I really hope your husband gets over his old way of thinking and realizes his daughter is suffering.

[Queen of Poop]

I suffered terribly from the age of 11, cramping, throwing up the whole bit. Had an ultrasound, no reason for it. Went on the pill at 17 and still no relief. Tried the Annaprox, complete waste of time. And then some kind angel suggested I try a Chinese herb called Dang Quoi (there are several spellings). It smells terrible, comes in capsule format and has been my saving grace for many years now. I take it for about 3 days before and 1-2 days during and I am fine. Absolutely NO cramping, throwing up nothing. Please, before you stick her on the pill go to your pharmacy or local health food store and try this. There is NO guarantee the pill will work, it didn't for me.

[catnapper]

I agree with all of you, but the man is stubborn! He has it in his head that the pill = sex. He's a teacher and knows that kids are having sex today as young as twelve without the pill, so why he figures the pill = sex is beyond me because he KNOWS they'll have sex without the pill!

I will try to see if the arguements work about us having raised a smart, independant kid who will use it as pain relief, and not a license to do something she wouldn't have otherwise done.

He SWEARS there are other choices out there than the pill for relief, because the other parents on her soccer team said there were (yeah, the patch, injections... lol.) Either that or the doctors have told the parents that its "hormone therapy" (aka the pill) Funny how he gets all his medical information from a bunch of soccer moms

Thank you everyone for the advice and personal experiences. It really does help. I guess I was lucky - never had a cramp in my life.

[Husky_mom]

I Had These Knocking Down Pains Also, And Years And Years Passed Until I Found The Only Thing That Actually Worked, Some Pills Named "midol", They Woudn´t Make Me Throw Up, And Lower My Pains, I Really Turned All Colors Possible, I Even Called Myself The Incredible Hulk At That Tiem Of The Month, Since The Pain Made Me Look Like That.

I Am Very Irregular, But Now I Only Have Slight Pains, Well I Can Manage Them, As Other People I Know Woudn´t Stand Them At All, But Nothing Like The Ones I Had Before.
I Also Got Several Treatments To Put The Pains Down But None Worked, Just The Midol, Maybe You Should Try Them, And See If It Works For Her As It Did To Me.

Tell Her I Understand What She Goes Through (we´re Pretty Much Alike)

[lizbud]

He's finally let me take her to the doctor to see what can be done. But really, what CAN be done for her? The only thing I've ever heard of doctors being able to do was prescribe "the pill". Hubby absolutely flat-out says NO WAY to that one. As a mom, I kinda agree that giving a 15 year old the pill is not every parent's dream because the feeling is she'll think she's now invicible and has a license to have lots of sex. I don't know... this daughter is too level headed to do that..... but still, she has had the same boyfriend for a year now

Anyway, is there anything else they can do for her with today's medicine and medical technology, or is the old tried and true the only way? Would it be so bad to put her on the pill if it means no more pain?

It would be a cold day in hell before I ever felt I needed to get permission
from anyone to take my child to a Doctor for treatment. But, anyhow, why
not just take her to a Ob/Gyn and have her checked out.Let the Dr. make any
suggestions on how this could be helped. Good Luck to her.

[catnapper]

It would be a cold day in hell before I ever felt I needed to get permission
from anyone to take my child to a Doctor for treatment. But, anyhow, why
not just take her to a Ob/Gyn and have her checked out.Let the Dr. make any
suggestions on how this could be helped. Good Luck to her.

I am not their real mother. I am the step-mom. I can only do so much. If I was her real mom, things would be a bit different. Since I am not, things are as they are.

We are going to the Ob/Gyn. She's nervous, as would be expected. I'd have been mortified at 15 with the concept of seeing a gynecologist.

I plan on following the doctor's recommendation, but I needed to know BEFORE HAND what options are out there to formulate a reason for it that hubby can't refute. Already, the ladies that have responded have given me plenty of reasons why going on the pill wont equal sex. Thats my main concern --- how to get her on it and him agree to it if thats what the doctor prescribes. But if there IS an option out there, I'd like to know about it. To discuss it with the doctor and see which option is most likely to work, which is best for HER.

[DJFyrewolf36]

I've been on the pill since I was 12. I had major major pains and was very irregular and so mom had me into the doctor right away. (Immagine going to the gyno at 12 ). I've tried several brands, and only a couple work for me. I reciently was on Seasonale and boy was that a flop! I've also tried Midol and other OTC's. Unfortuneatly, they all somehow seem to make me drowsy.

Some pills make things worse, some better. I'm glad that she is going to the OB/GYN, just to rule out anything serious as severe cramping can be caused by many factors.

Your step daughter sounds like she is a smart young woman, so I'd tell your hubby not to worry too much! (As if they listen lol)

[dukedogsmom]

I had to get on Anaprox a few years ago because of my problems. I would try the pill first, as the Anaprox makes you very drowsy and that would be hard to use while trying to stay awake at school. I know it made staying awake at work difficult. In fact, I could only take half a pill while there and then that didn't get rid of the pain. I hope you find a good solution. I'm fortunate that I didn't have pains like that until my much later years.

[NoahsMommy]

Kim,

I only wish my mom would have realized how bad my cramps were when I was younger. I had to "deal" with them from 7th grade to 12th without anything to help them. Nothing works for me...except the pill. I love that thing! I also use those heating pad things, those help a lot! I'm usually in pain with my crohn's, so I'm ususally on strong pain meds during my period as well...those work!!

What if hubby went to the appointment and had the doctor explain this to him? I assume someone that went to school for an added 8 years would be able to convince him. Hopefully.

I just feel for your daughter. Its not fair she has to be in pain if there is a way to stop it. The pill has many other benefits...besides the whole baby repellant thing.

Hope it works out.

OH! What about giving hubby some information from the internet? Would that help him??

Hugs, Kelly

[LKPike]

I was the same way, and the pill never helped. if anything I only felt worse during that time. So I switched to depo provera, an injection every 3 months and you don't get your period - ever. I might get some cramping towards the end of the 3 months but its no where as bad as before.


if you do decide to use it make sure she takes extra vitamins and especially calcium. depo is supposed to effect the bones negatively.

[lizbud]

Catnapper,

Sorry if I sounded snippy yesterday.I did forget about you being a step
mom. That does make some difference, but still, if the young woman is
that debilitated by her monthly cycle, she does need some help.I would try
also to make her dad take a Drs. word for whatever therapy is needed. I know
you are trying your best to help her.Good luck with the Dr.visit.

[DaisyJo's Mom]

it makes my stomach hurt just reading this because I too went through horrible pains...
i went to the doctor and they told me they did a test on how bad my cramps were and they rate it on a scale from one to five and mine was a 5++
they actually put me on birth control but told me not to take the last week and sooner or later it stopped my period...now i have found out that stopping my period wasn't the healthiest decision eventhough the doctor told me it was OK if i had a certain something in me...like a protein or a vitamin or something..
anyway
now my peroid is never on time..it is just now starting to become normal and this happened when i was like 15 i am now 21
so my advice...is the pill is good..just don't stop her period....and warn her that the pill changes you....like your wieght and attitude
and as the parent give her a little leeway on things because she isn't gonna be herself

[My Peanuts]

I'm not a teen, I'm 24 years old, but here's my 2 cents. I had TERRIBLE menstrual pain. I would throw up, take hot baths/showers, curl up in the corner and cry. It was bad. I know you said the Pill was a no no, but it's honestly the only thing that helped. I've been on Yasmine for about a year and now when I get my period I don't even need to take a Tylenol. It is absolutely great. I can also time it so I don't have my period for weekends ever. It's nice. After I went through all that and now I'm good, I vowed that if my daughters (whenever I have them) tell me they are in pain like that I'm going to put them on the Pill even if they are young (as long as the doc says it's ok). No one should have to suffer like that.

Going on the Pill isn't going to "make" her have sex. To be honest, if she wants to she will. Curfews, Pills, and whatever aren't going to stop a determined teen.