my parents.. suck.

[Logan]

Originally posted by cali
yikes that sucks, I have NEVER gotten an A in my life, and I am extremly Happy if I get 1 B lol my average is C's and D's as long as Im not failing my parents are happy, in fact my dad takes me out for supper lol my mom was an honou student in school, my dad however was a dropout, and my brother is a dropout so as long as I graduate my parents are happy lol I never understood the whole if you donts get straight A's your grounded thing, that would not help me, I can work really hard on something and barly pull off a 50, I think those kind of rules are insanly stupid. when I was failing history last year, nneeded at least an 80% on my final to pass the class, so I went to my friends house and I studied, out loud, for 4 hours straight, I passed that class with a 60% however that would not have helped me on writing assignments lol I cant write worth crap so anything above a 70 in english is unbeleivable lol

Getting by is one thing, but excelling and putting every effort into getting through high school is another. It just helps so much in future years, I promise, that it is worth it to put the extra effort in now. You can never go back and retrieve it. I'm speaking from experience, here, nothing else, I promise.

To be rewarded for C's and D's, in my opinion, is wrong. If those grades are ones that have been brought up from F's, YES, rewards are due, with a goal of keeping on pushing to get them higher. But A's and B's are the goal, in my opinion. Everyone won't get them, for sure. But that needs to be the goal. My feeling is that the #1 goal for any high school student needs to be their academic achievement, regardless of outside interests. I can only say this from the experience I'm having with my 8th grader, but I know that she is not overworked at this point and if her grades slip, then we have to make adjustments on her time and priorities. Thankfully, we have never had to take anything away from her, so far. Next year might bring a whole new set of issues, though, when she is in high school. I guess we'll see.

Just wish you the best. Keep plugging away and striving to do your best work.

Logan

[ramanth]

Oh... I just remembered.... this will make you smile.

I was babysitting my bosses kids last night and was helping their daughter with her homework. She's in first grade. Well, her mom told me all she had to do tonight was spelling and making sentances with a list of words she was given.

Well, afterwards, Maddie wanted to do her math.

I couldn't even figure out the instructions!!

I have a college degree and I can't do first grade math.

We decided math could wait till her parents got home.

[Corinna]

As a mom of 2 adult kids and a lousy student I under stand all sides . I would have been exstatic to have gotten that card.
If fact my grades were so bad that mom said getting my drivers license and just the douplima was good enough. (may have had something to do with the terrible school we had too)
Thats why I homeschooled my kids they each had speacil talents . one was so far a head for their age , the other the oppisite But together we managed to get all through it and now they have to make the choice to get their GEDs . I think you deserve a atta girl for bringing those grades up. But also maybe they know you can do more and better.

[Logan]

Corinna's post just proves that our expectations are all over the board.

My daughter has proven herself to be a straight A student, so that's what I expect. And I know, in my heart, that all students aren't straight A students. My expectations for my daugher are set on her past achievements. That's why my expectations are set so high. I watch her and know that she is not having to work overly hard to achieve straight A's, therefore, if she doesn't get them, then I will cut back on some things that I think are distracting her, in order that she spend more time on school work than on IM or cell phone calls with her buddies. Thank goodness, I haven't had to do that, so far. But her dad, and I, quiz her about how she is doing, constantly. We may not be in the same house, but our goal is the same, and it keeps her on her toes. It is important to her that she achieve good grades so that she can get into the college of her choice, one that will be tough to enter. I'm glad she has that goal in mind, as an 8th grader.

Much love and support to you,
Logan

[slleipnir]

I've never been grounded for poor grades. I always tried to do well in school though. however, I also never got anything but 'That's ok' or such things even if I did really well.
...then again, I've never really been grounded..ever.

[cali]

lol well lets see my brother proved himself to be an A and B student if he got less he got a big lecture etc.. he dropped out in grade 10. I go to a private school, they mark way harder then other schools, in fact according to a study most B and C students would be A students at any other high school, we start first year univarsity work in grade 11, getting by IS my goal, passing with a 50% and I am happy lol but I also know that I have a larger work load then 2nd or 3rd year univarsity students, and I am only in grade 12. its a school geared toward univarsity, oddly enugh I have no intention now nor have I ever had any intention of going to univarsity lol I am just not motivated for school, not at all, I want to graduate and that is my full blown goal lol I am more interested in hanginf out with friends, and more intrested in animals, if I have no intrest in something, it shows, big time lol I know that I CAN do better, I simply dont want to yes I get rewarded for C's and D's and no that is not up from an F but I am also not afraid of report cards, and infact I love getting them, not because I get rewarded, actually I hate being acknowledged by my parents for stuff I do, its for my own satisfaction, everyone I know who is pressured dreads report cards, and I would hate that feeling. my teachers have high standered from us, they are stricter then my parents lol once in math in grade 10 anyone whp got below 80 on their test had to write a note to there parents saying why and get in signed and bring it back, I got a 74 on that test, so I took the note to my mom she signed it and could not figer out how on earth 74 is supposed to be a bad mark lol

[wolfsoul]

Originally posted by YellowLabLover
I'd faint if I saw those grades on my report card, I would be the happiest kid

Me too! My mom is just happy to hear that I pass. All I need is 50% and I'm out of the hole.

[Kfamr]

Wow, some of the responses in this thread honestly sicken me. I got straight C's on my most recent report card. I TRIED MY HARDEST, studied, did my assignments.. yet got C's.

Parent's DO NOT understand what it is like to be a child in school these days. NOT AT ALL. I don't care if they had to "walk 5 miles in the snow with one shoe on", it is NOT easy to get straight A's, in highschool especially, to be a teenager or child in today's society.

And, being angry when a child is failing DOES NOT HELP. AT ALL. Taking away things that make them happy DOES NOT HELP. Children want support, emotional support especially, and understanding. Being angry and upset, grounding even, does not help at all. It makes you want to give up, especially when you KNOW you've tried your hardest and you still failed and on top of it get chewed out by your "parents".


I do not plan on going to college. I actually spoke with my mother the other day about school, and she said she'd like for me to graduate, but either way she'll still be there for me no matter what. I like that, a lot, because I HATE when parents are so pressuring.

I plan to let my child live their life how THEY want to, not how I want them to... Meaning they can chose their own job, they can choose whether or not they wish to be a part of a religion, ect.. Of course with the exception of doing things that are harmful to them or others. They'll have to go to school, and atleast get passing grades, but no way will I pressure them into getting straight A's. If that's their goal, terrific, but it's not MY decision when it comes to setting THEIR goals.

[wolfsoul]

I agree Kay --- I try really hard, but can't help it when I fail. The counsellor thinks I have a learning disorder but the school doesn't care what I have. I get treated the same way anyone else does, and when I fail for it, it doesn't matter how hard I tried. My mother yells at me, threatens me, tells me I'm stupid. It's hard to hear what parents and teachers tell you and not feel depressed at the same time. When I get yelled at for failing a subject, I feel really bad about myself, and to be honest I think that makes me do worse. I know that if my mother ever expected me to get straight A's, I would be be so anxious and uptight all the time. I would be so afraid. School can be really difficult. I'm lucky to have a highschool that is filled with nice people that accept eachother. No bullying, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that it is a very high-stress enviornment and at the end of the day I just wish I could curl and and fall asleep and never wake up. Parents always say ''Just wait until you have to work." I've worked -- got up at 3 in the morning, and spent 12 hours on my aching feet with only an hour break. Then go home and sleep for hours because I'm so tried and weak. Every single day. And I would rather do that ten million times than be at school.

[Samantha Puppy]

Wow. Some of the stuff said in this thread is pretty shocking to me.

For those of you who are just coasting through, getting the bare minimum needed to pass... do you know what you are setting yourself up for in the future? You are at an advantage now because teachers are so much less willing to fail students and they keep getting pushed through but guess what? When you enter the work force and you attempt to coast through and not pull your weight - you get fired. Listen to me. I am not old, it hasn't been that long since I've been out of high school. But you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of menial jobs if all you ever do is "settle".

As for parents "pressuring" their children... it's only because they want better for their children than what they have. You'll come to realize this - I have and I'm not a mother yet. Your parents don't want you to live from paycheck to paycheck, working yourself into an early grave, working at a job you hate, etc. They want you to happy, but they want to know that you will be okay and taken care of when they aren't around anymore. THAT'S what the pushing is for. Not because they're jerks and don't understand you. The older you get, the more you realize that they actually *DO* understand you more than you think. Your body ages. Your mind does not. Trust me. Please.

You also have to think beyond just yourself. What if you dropped out of high school and/or didn't get a college degree. You fall in love, get married, and have kids. You are lucky enough to find a man whose salary alone could support you and the kids without you having to work. Someone crashes into him on the way to work one day and God forbid, he dies. You are left to raise, support, and provide for a family with NO fallback! Is that fair to your children? OR if that scenario doesn't seem like it fits into your dreams for your future right now, replace the children with your parents. Say something happens to them, your husband is gone, you work at McDonald's and your parents need money. Wouldn't you like to be able to give back to them after all they've done for you?

Give it another 10 years... you guys will start to realize what I'm saying. Believe me. Ten years ago, I was 16 and I rolled my eyes when my parents said that they could relate to me ("No one knows what it's like to be a teenager these days! It's sooooo different from the 60s!" - but guess what? It isn't so much. The fashion changes, but the minds of teenagers don't...). I rolled my eyes when my parents told me to think about the future and realize that one day, I wouldn't just be responsible for myself but for my children as well. You just don't think of that stuff when you're your age, because you only hear it from your parents (whom you dismiss) and your same-age friends who feel the same way you do. If I had known someone my age now (26) and told me stuff like this when I was 16, I would've really listened, taken it into account and changed some of the decisions I ultimately ended up making.

Your parents aren't out to get you. And there is a WORLD of difference between your world right now and the real world. Please trust me on this. I'm not demeaning any of you, but you have so much yet to learn that you can only learn by living and experience.

[sammy101]

My parents are very supportive of my grades.I have never been grounded for getting a C.My lowest grade i've ever gotten on my Report card was a C.Most the time i get A's & B's,but theres that one class i cant do well in(SCIENCE )im horrible in science.But everything else i do well in.
Lots of my friends here get grounded b/c they get a C.i think that is just Wrong!!Taking away privleges is not right.its not going to help there kid pass.I plan on going to College,i dont know for how long,it depends what i want to do.My parents are always supportive of me,and want to get me the help i need.

btw-We have to pass with a 70 or above here

[wolfsoul]

There are colleges and courses that don't require good grades or certain highschool courses. The dog grooming course I'm going to take only requires you to have graduated or have your GED. The Okanagan University College requires that you have a C average.

I am in no way "settling" when I get bad grades. I try REALLY hard. I have a real problem that prevents me from doing well in my classes that require me to do certain things. Unfortunatly schools don't evaluate each student and put them in to classes accordingly, and MY school doesn't offer students counselling or Learning Assistance unless by appointment weeks in advance. Otherwise I might be doing better, as well as many other students. Anyone who really tries is capable of doing very well. But sometimes there are other factors that just make it so hard. The school doesn't care if you can't concentrate because you are so hungry and can't afford food. It doesn't matter if your parents beat you or if you are being bullied, or if you have a learning disorder --- they will find you outside help, but in the mean time, your grades are still suffering, and that is not their problem. They grade you the same way as everyone else, and that is that. They don't look at the straight A's I had all through elementary school and middle school and then suddenly wonder why I'm failing everything. Because its not their problem. Highschool is a very hard place these days, and you are very correct, Samantha_Puppy, it will make or break you. But school is not just there for education purposes -- they make this clear by providing us with dances, free days, fun days, parties, etc -- it should be there to truly help us. If they want us to be a good impression for everyone going out on their own, then they should truly care about us and help us with our problems. They also make it very clear that they want us to pass and succeed People fail things for a reason, and it isn't always because they don't try hard enough.

[Kfamr]

I KNOW what you're saying, Jaime.. but...

Teachers are MORE than willing to fail students. I've even had teachers say, while kids were failing.. "Oh well, I get paid either way".. And when a child is failing, maybe by .1%, they'll still fail them. They let them fall asleep in class everyday, even refuse to give them make-up work when they've been out.

I know parents want what's best for their children, but taking away things that make them happy is NOT helpful. AS A CHILD who experiences crap like this on a day to day basis, with her father, being angry because of grades DOES NOT HELP. It makes me feel worthless and as if no matter what I do ( and I TRY my hardest) will never be good enough. It makes you feel like scum.
I've never personally settled with a D or F. I always try to get atleast a C, and when I do i'm especially proud of myself. B's and A's are like trophies for me. when I get them i'm very happy. D's and F's? I'm upset, especially after trying my hardest.. and after beating myself up over it, I do NOT need anyone else doing it for me, especially people who are "so understanding" like my parents.

No, my parents will never understand what it's like to be a child going to school, my school especially, if they never listen. Listening is key in a relationship, between anyone. You've got to listen to the other side, and after you've listened you've got to be helpful.

Not everyone has to live life in a sky-rise executive building with a shiney BMW in the parking garage.

I think about my future all the time. I discuss it with my parents all the time.

NO ONE will know what it's like for a specific person to go through highschool, unless you are that person.
There's kids who love school - get straight A's, as their choice... and are perfectly happy.
There's kids who hate school - get straight A's, as their parent's choice.. and are miserable.
There's kids who drop out of school, got straight F's, and are far more successful than most.
And so on..

Every person's different.. every person learns differently.. Teacher's in general don't care. I've had maybe, 3 or 4 teachers in my whole highschool career who actually gave somewhat of a damn. That's 3 or 4 out of around 24+. Guess what? I passed their classes with A's everytime.

Most of the things I do in school my parents or neighbors the same age as them have absolutely NO clue how to even attempt them. It's far harder than anything they've ever done. It's especially hard to maintain an A with highschool exams.

These are my exact grades, and how they went...
I got a B in Ecology, a C on my exam.. got a C as a final grade..
I got a B in Health, a D on my exam.. got a C as my final grade..
I got a A in Spanish 2, D on my exam.. got a C as my final grade..
I got a B in Personal Fit, F on the exam.. got a F as my final grade..
Almost on all of my repost cards it stated "Failure due to low test scores"

I'm horrible with tests. I could sit there and answer questions all day, but when it comes time to take the test.. I freeze up, get nervous. 99.9% of that is because i'm pressured into getting the best grade possible, not the grade that I AM capable of doing.
I'd understand if the child was getting into trouble on a daily basis, doing bad things, using drugs, ect.. But i'm not that type of child and I feel I should get support no matter if I get 100% A or 60% F, but instead I get pressured into things i'm sometimes not capable of doing.


Sorry for getting so into this bckrazy.. I just know exactly how you feel and i'm sorry so many of us kids have to deal with it.

[Edwina's Secretary]

Every generation has said..."my parents don't understand me!"...my parents don't understand what it is like to be a kid today!" And it is true. But it doesn't mean today, or yesterday or the day before it was any easier...nor any harder.

If realistic expectations are not set for a child...and the child held accountable for achieving those expectations... what a disservice to the child!

Life after school is all about expectations being set and results measured....in employment and in relationships for that matter.

And frankly, I think it is that lack of responsiblity and lack of accountability that makes being a kid today "so hard." Getting an education is YOUR JOB and there are consequences in life for doing or not doing what is expected of you.

I deal with too many employees who are absolutely SHOCKED when there are consequences -- because that never happened to them before.

[Logan]

Some of these replies make me very sad for your futures because I believe you to be such bright, caring people. I'm going to back off now. Good luck to all of you.