Changing sexual preference??

[carrie]

I haven't read the other replies to this thread so that I could react to the original post without being influenced so if I upset anyone by repeating them or totally going against what they have said please understand that there is no intention here.

I think what your friend should do is sit down with Hayden and tell him the truth.

Without further evidence his story has to be taken on trust. It sounds plausible, your friend trusts him and she can come to no physical harm by being honest with him. If it all turns out to be lies she will have protected herself by being honest and will still have left a channel of communication open to Hayden as a friend. No matter if the story is real or fake this young man is obviously in desperate need of an honest friend, one who gives respect and demands it in return.

If Hayden feels like he needs experience with girls to help him sort out his feelings then I think he has a valid point. Your friend should encourage him to meet more girls by widening his social circle. She should tell him that it won't matter to her what the outcome of the boy/girl preference is (if she is really comfortable with that) as long as he is happy and not hurting anyone. She should then thank him that he thinks that their friendship is far too important to risk being part of the "finding out"(I know that is not the reality of the situation but it is a clear message) process and that she also feels too close to him to risk being part of it. He is such a close friend that it would be the silliest thing to do - a possible lifelong friendship ruined, but she is willing to suport him dating other girls. Warn him that although this is a major time in his life he has to be aware of the effect that an intense relationship can have on the other person involved. Remind him how loveable he is and how easily it could get out of hand if he is not careful.
Tell your friend to keep a diary. Tell her to note down any witnesess to conversations or actions. Write down anything and everything that actually happens, is said and how it makes her feel.
Worst that could then happen is that he is a rat-bag and will distance himself from her.
Best that can happen is that he has a true friend that he can talk to, rely on and will be able to get his head straight eventually.

[Twisterdog]

Originally posted by Denyce
My BS meter was blinking a very bright red reading this story. I don't buy it. If the story really is true then she needs to run very fast in the opposite direction because this young man would have enough baggage to fill a moving van.

Denyce

No kidding. I've heard some baaaaddddd "get you into bed with my sad life story" lines, but that ranks right up there.

[IRescue452]

You are born into a sexual preference, you can't change it. Sounds like he is supressing his anyway. If you are a guy that is not aroused by a girl, you can bet you weren't taught to be that way, it was born into you. I think he has no sex drive to begin with.

[Oggyflute]

I'm sorry but he just sounds like a leach. Be it with a male or female partner, if he can't be honest with himself, he's sure not going to be honest with them.