What would you do??

[Tonya]

Originally posted by Samantha Puppy
It's hard for any of us to say what we'd do because the situation is so horrible, we may say one thing and if we ever go through a similar situation, handle it completely differently than we'd thought.

However, I am mean. So I think I'd go. Why? So he could see me, see me in pain and hurt, and I could tell him exactly what his stupidity did. I would want him to feel the absolute worst he possibly could... after losing Amylynn, you and Lee are feeling awfully darn low, so it's only fair. Seeing Lee won't bring it home - seeing YOU would.

No matter how much pain and remorse the man showed, I would still think it wasn't enough. In my mind, I would be even more hurt and angry after seeing him because he didn't give me the reaction that I wanted.

[sirrahbed]

This man has killed someone and legally, I do not think you or your husband are supposed to be talking to him at all. Like someone mentioned earlier - the perpetrator probably already knows this.

[jazzcat]

Originally posted by sirrahbed
This man has killed someone and legally, I do not think you or your husband are supposed to be talking to him at all. Like someone mentioned earlier - the perpetrator probably already knows this.

I totally agree with Debbie. I think you should let the D.A.s office know that he is trying to contact you and I personally would use the term 'harass' you. That probably won't make him look any better in court. Let the prosecutors handle him.

[mina'smomma]

Lee and I discussed this with each other, the counselor, and my lawyer (who incidentily went we us to our first therapy session) and we are not going to go and see the drunk. The lawyer thinks that he just wants to buy us off because he comes from a real wealthy family, and has been able to get away with almost anything. Well not this time. We figure that he can rot in jail, but my lawyer took the ultrasound picture and is going to inform the drunk that this time he killed an innocent baby. He also isn't going for manslaughter. He is going to try and get him for 1st degree murder. He feels that since he has soooo many prior DUIs that he knew when he got behind the wheel that he could kill someone and just didn't care.

Lee and I are still going strong. I actually went and looked at the blanket I was making for Amylynn. I have avoided my craft room for that reason. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but with our famiy and friends (not to mention the power of my PT friends) we'll make it through no problem.

[ramanth]

*HUGS*

[persianmom]

I'm sorry to hear about your lost, but I'm with Debbie don't go see him until you know for sure it will not screw up the hearing. He needs to pay for what he has done. Espeically if this isn't the first time.

You are in may prays.
Carol

[Tubby & Peanut's Mom]

Sounds like you have wise council - in your counselor and in your lawyer. I think with their help you will get through this.

{{{hugs}}}

[chrangharris]

Renae, I'm so very sorry you are going through all of this turmoil. Listen to lawyer- it sounds like he knows what to do and is going to throw the book at this guy. Only go see this guy if you and Lee feel emotionally up to it. You don't not owe him anything and you need to do what is best for you. If you feel seeing him will help you with the healing process, then see him. If you feel it will make it worse, then don't. We are here for you! If you need a shoulder to cry or to vent, please PM me. I'm praying for you and Lee during this situation- for healing, peace, comfort and wisdom to the right thing!

Christine

[Scooby4]

I am soo sorry to hear about your lost. I think it is WAAAY too soon for this guy to ask for a face to face meeting. I can understand his side to a point. He is admitting his guilt and trying to take some weight off himself. I say let him live with HIS burden for awhile!!!
I do believe your going to come to a point where you will want to talk to him. I do NOT think you are there yet at all. There are 5 stages of grieve and you are STILL in the 2nd to 3rd step of this process. I will advice you NOT to speak until you have gotten past some of the anger which is COMPLETELY NORMAL!!!!
Your going to say things now that I am sure looking back will be regretful. So you had better let the lawyer deal with it or a third party. I don't want you to cause yourself more pain by pushing people away by your anger.
Please keep going to your counselor. It does help a great deal. I had to go to one when my mother passed away. I was much younger but it helped me understand that I was NORMAL and it was okay for me to have these extreme feelings. They are part of the healing process.
Your wounds are just too open right now to deal with this ignoramous. His tears aren't your tears. They are tears of regret your tears are of pain and loss. He will NEVER know what he took away. All the yelling and tears won't ever convey that. What will make him pay is KNOWING your family has to live with the pain that HE caused. Give him a picture of your daughter and let him see it EVERYDAY he is in jail!!! Never let him forget!!!! You won't !!!
Now you have an Angel looking over you from Heaven! Good luck and God Bless you!!!