I want to get married!

[moosmom]

Miranda Rae,

I read your post and saw myself so long ago.

When I graduated from high school, the only thing I wanted to do was get married and become a mother. All my friends were doing it, why couldn't I???

I got married at the age of 20 to a man I knew 7 months. I had a daughter after I was married for 1 1/2 years. Divorced by the time I was 24. If I had to do it all over again, I would've waited till I was at LEAST 30 to even THINK about marriage.

I never had the chance to actually go out, date, live on my own and experience life. Hindsight has 20/20 vision Miranda. Please don't be in a hurry to get married. You have your whole life ahead of you, honey. Make the most of it!!!!

((hugs))

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by moosmom
Miranda Rae,

I read your post and saw myself so long ago.

When I graduated from high school, the only thing I wanted to do was get married and become a mother. All my friends were doing it, why couldn't I???

I got married at the age of 20 to a man I knew 7 months. I had a daughter after I was married for 1 1/2 years. Divorced by the time I was 24. If I had to do it all over again, I would've waited till I was at LEAST 30 to even THINK about marriage.

I never had the chance to actually go out, date, live on my own and experience life. Hindsight has 20/20 vision Miranda. Please don't be in a hurry to get married. You have your whole life ahead of you, honey. Make the most of it!!!!

((hugs))

Thank you moosmom. My parents were married when they were 21, they dated since their senior year, and they have been married 26 years! Gosh, now I just dated them. Anyho, thank you so much for being so considerate and kind and not making me feel like such a total loser.

[guster girl]

I got married a few months after graduating high school, 8 days before I turned 18. I didn't have any kids with him, we wanted to wait. But, I will say that I don't regret getting married, and, I don't regret getting divorced. It's not always the end of the world if it happens that way, ya know? I will say that I was more ready then than I am now, and, I'm 28. Ha ha. I'm totally boy crazy, though, there's no way I could marry anyone right now. But, my marriage was awesome, and, he and I have no hard feelings whatsoever. It was an amazing experience to be married, and, I am interested to see if I'll ever be married again. Not for at least a couple years, though.

[popcornbird]

Originally posted by Miranda_Rae
I know what you are all saying, but I don't intend to get married now! I just WANT to....I am not going to do anything, and my intentions are that I want to wait till i am married to have sex...i know some of you are going to be all "oh thats old fashioned" but thats what i believe, and I want to make it special between my husband and me. I heard once that its a gift, and I want it to be my gift to my husband. ok, enough!

I don't think you're old fashioned. I am going to do the same. I'm a Muslim, and sex out of marriage is against my religion too.

I must say that at 16, I had absolutely no interest in getting married. Even now, at 18, I don't really want to get married yet. I think I can wait until my 20s....early 20s. I do want to have that once special person to love, but I don't think I'm ready for the responsibility yet. Hopefully I will be soon...but not yet. You sound like my brother though.......he's been wanting to get married since he was 16. LOL! He's 22 now, and still wants to get married...even more desperately now, but now he complains that its too hard to find the right girl. He keeps saying he'll be outdated by next year. LOL! Of course that is totally false...22 is still very young. I know it is hard to get the perfect person...and it does take time. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't worry. We'll all get married some day....at least most of us. He he he!

I actually know a girl who got married at 17. She's 18 now, and has a baby boy now. She's very happy as far as I can tell, but she looks sooooooo young to be a mother. People who don't know her ask if her child's her baby brother. Her husband's very young too...I think he's 19. Personally, I would wait until turning 20-21 at least. I just don't think most people are mature/independant enough to handle a household, raise children, and handle all the responsibility that goes with marriage at that young age. Some people are mature enough in their late teens, but I don't think maturity at that age is common. I know I'm not ready yet. I do want that special person in my life soon, but I want to wait until I feel ready. I do think I will get married by my early 20s though...hopefully.

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by popcornbird
I don't think you're old fashioned. I am going to do the same. I'm a Muslim, and sex out of marriage is against my religion too.

I must say that at 16, I had absolutely no interest in getting married. Even now, at 18, I don't really want to get married yet. I think I can wait until my 20s....early 20s. I do want to have that once special person to love, but I don't think I'm ready for the responsibility yet. Hopefully I will be soon...but not yet. You sound like my brother though.......he's been wanting to get married since he was 16. LOL! He's 22 now, and still wants to get married...even more desperately now, but now he complains that its too hard to find the right girl. I know it is hard to get the perfect person...and it does take time. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't worry. We'll all get married some day....at least most of us. He he he!

I actually know a girl who got married at 17. She's 18 now, and has a baby boy now. She's very happy as far as I can tell, but she looks sooooooo young to be a mother. People who don't know her ask if her child's her baby brother. Her husband's very young too...I think he's 19. Personally, I would wait until turning 20-21 at least. I just don't think most people are mature/independant enough to handle a household, raise children, and handle all the responsibility that goes with marriage at that young age. Some people are mature enough in their late teens, but I don't think maturity at that age is common. I know I'm not ready yet. I do want that special person in my life soon, but I want to wait until I feel ready. I do think I will get married by my early 20s though...hopefully.

Oh I am definately going to wait till my 20s, but I still wnat to get married. But I feel much better now that i have started this thread and everything. Oh gosh, it is SO hard to find someone thats DECENT anymore.

[Samantha Puppy]

In June of this year, I got married. When Josh and I started dating we were 17. We turned 26 this past May.

You can't help who you fall in love with and you'll somehow know The One when you are ready to know that he is The One. I can't explain it, but you will know. Until then, HAVE FUN being young! I know it's not always easy but please realize that this point in your life is a special time and one that you will long for the older you get. Trust me.

Josh and I were together almost 10 years before we got married. I thought, going into it, that we were lucky in that most people don't know each other as long or as well as we have grown to over the years so getting married and living with him would be easy. HA!!! There isn't a saying that "The honeymoon is over!" for nothing! As soon as we got back from our honeymoon and moved in together, we were at each other's throat. Not even three weeks into our marriage, we got into such a horrible fight that I told him that getting married to him was the worst mistake I'd ever made. Of course, it wasn't and I still love him - I just wanted to make him hurt as much as he was hurting me.

ANYWAY, what I'm trying to say is that things don't automatically turn into rainbows and butterflies after you say "I do." You'll still have bad days. You may be thinking, "Yeah but at least I'll have someone to come home to who loves and understands me" but you know what? He may not always be in the mood to listen to you or want to cheer you up. Your bad mood may put him into a bad mood every once in awhile. So while he will love you, he may not always be so understanding.

I wished my single life away. Don't you do the same. It's scary and uncertain and fun and crazy, all rolled into one, and if you spend your life waiting until you're married to feel validated, you will eventually resent yourself and all the fun times you could've had.

[Glacier]

Don't be in a big rush!

My sister was not quite 19 when she got married. She just turned 30, is about to have her 4th child. Her marriage has been difficult and full of troubles. They have been on the brink of divorce repeatedly including several long separations. The root of all their problems is that they were too dang young when they got married. Neither of them knows anything about any other way of life. I commend them for continuing to try and work it out, but it's been a long hard road for them, and will likely stay that way for awhile.

I was 26 when I got married. I still think that was a little young sometimes! But I had done alot of things--I had bought my own house, travelled, got two degrees, partied, done all the wild and crazy things I'd never tell my mother about! So had my husband who was 32 when we got married. I can now honestly look at him and know that he is the right one. I know what else was out there and I don't have to wonder about what might have been. I am also educated enough and financially capable of taking care of myself and my animals should the need ever arise!

Enjoy your youth! When the time is right, the right person will come along.

[catfancier]

I completely agree with all Popcornbird and Samantha Puppy had to say - (and Popcornbird I thought you were MUCH older than 18, your age certainly doesn't show in your threads!). I always had urges to go out every weekend when I was 14, 15, 16, 17 and meet boys, go to parties etc, and I never had a proper boyfriend the whole time I was at school. I didn't think I would ever find a guy because I believed I was unattractive, weird and I didn't know what to do when I was around guys, although I could be an excellent FRIEND.
Matt came along when I was 19, I basically moved in with him the first day we met (I didn't have a bed at the flat I was living in, I was sleeping on the couch, so he offered me his bed - and he would sleep on the couch), and I never left! He is my *first* (if you get what I mean) and only, and we are completely best friends. It took a long time for us to truly trust each other, he had been badly bitten by a previous girlfriend - she dumped him saying that he wasn't tall enough - at least that's to my knowledge anyway. He's about 5'3" and I'm about 5'7".
Anyway we're now very happy together in our three bedroom rental place all to ourselves and our beautiful pets. I'm now 23 and he is 25, we've been together for almost 4 1/2 years, and there are still things that we discover about each other, which is cool because it gives you something to figure out all the time as we are both evolving as individuals, and in our relationship.
At times I do feel that being in such a committed relationship is a pain in the bum, I'd love to just go out and do my own thing, with no consequences and no one to report to. I may still be living at home, because I feel tied to living in this house and having this relationship, but then I look at what I do have and I couldn't imagine leaving it all behind. I certainly couldn't imagine destroying this relationship by doing something stupid like being unfaithful.

Luckily, Matt comes from good stock - his dad is the best man in the world! (And hopefully will be walking me down the aisle one day!)
We will get married one day - I thought it would be nice to be married when I'm 24 because that sounded like a cool age, but now I'm 23 1/2 so I don't think that will happen for me! I just can't wait for the day I do get married because not only will I be a 'Princess' (yay, I've always wanted to be a princess!), but I will be able to have dogs and maybe more cats, who knows! Furry additions to the family! I can't wait to get a couple of dogs!

Sorry for the blah blah but it's a nerve of mine you've tweaked so I thought I would contribute.
You will be so excited when you do finally get married, I hope that when the day comes, it will be better than you dream it to be!

[Miranda_Rae]

Thank you all for your kind words. I appreciate it so much because it makes me feel better. Thanks again. You guys are the greatest!

[jazzzytina]

Miranda Rae, I also think you are a mature young lady who has the right notions about things, like waiting until marriage for sex. I didn't do that, and I wish I had.

You have a lot of love in your heart that you want to share, and want someone to care for you, and I understand that too. Ask God to bring you someone when you are mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually ready to make a commitment, and that His will be done. That way, you know you'll be doing the right thing.

I admire someone who has so much love in her heart. God will bless you for that, I'm sure.

Love, Tina

[My Peanuts]

At 16 I felt the same way. I was engaged by the time I was 18, but by 21 I was so involved (and I still am) with bars and clubs. I'm nowhere near ready now Have fun while you're young and get married because you found the love of your life and not because you are in love with the thought of being married. I know you aren't saying you are getting married now, but if you are like I was you would if you could. I felt more ready at that age then I do now

[CathyBogart]

I went through the same feelings when I was your age...and I wound up engaged when I was 18. It took me only 8 months to realize that I was making a big mistake, and I'm glad now that I did. You'll find the right person, and you'll know when you're ready.

[Corinna]

Ok I will now twist the odds out . I married at 17 but we had dated for 3 years and didn't have kids for 3 years. We just celebrated our 25th . we did wait to have sex and it was worth it . I would (if I had to do it over) have waited a while longer. We have had our ups and downs(growing pains) but over all its been good .
3 of my freinds were married the same year (before school grad) only one is still married to the same person. They had been dating since 6th grade.
I must admit from seeing this thread I am given a renewed since that the current young people (omg I sound like my mom) do have a good since of values . If you listen to the media ever one is having sex all the time and anywhere.
As a mom I say great to all of you and keep up your standards.

[Miranda_Rae]

Originally posted by Alice_rox
I am 12 and I want to get married young 2!

I don't want to get married young. I want the love and nurture, and campanionship of a relationship, but when i am ready and older, but I do long for it, but not right now!