Something that has been bothering me

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by popcornbird
Anyone posts the slightest inappropriate thing, and its gone in a flash........before anyone even gets the chance to see.

And, Pops, remembering that I love you! Not everyone has the same definition of inappropriate as you do. I don't find the things we joke about, especially in the weekly Thursday threads inappropriate, or offensive. We just have different measuring sticks.

I really think those things that people find offensive shouldn't be read by those people so offended. Stay out of Bar on Thursdays, if you see something you find offensive, then, leave the thread immediately.

[gini]

Although I agree that we do need to be careful, I think watching television would be far more corrupting that what is written in Pet Talk.

First of all, I don't think a younger child under the age of ten, would wade through all of the posts - mainly because most of it would be boring to them.

And, this is certainly a generalization, if you were to read some of the teenagers "journals" that appear on websites, they would make your hair stand on end. These kids get right down to it.......and every foul word that has ever been created is included in every sentence. If you know how to use a computer and have the site address - it is available to anyone to read.

Recently, I have had the 4:00 PM news on and as they review the days events on the Kobe "situation" I was surprised by the very explicit information the newscasters talked about. At the time, I thought about my own 9 years old niece. What if she had heard that and turned to me for an explanation. She isn't allowed to watch television until the weekends and is then supervised. But a lot of kids are not supervised and they DO hear it. And they are hearing far worse than they would ever read on Pet Talk.

We have a strange large home in our area that has caused an uproar. It is stark white and there is a semi-circle of statues of David along the driveway. There must be 25 of them. They also have two cars - both are flaming orange. It sits on a corner of a main street. I drove by with my 9 year old niece and she commented "I just don't get it - a pure white house and two orange cars." She never mentioned the statues.

At Christmas time, every one of the statues wears a Santa hat.

In a nutshell what I am trying to express is that the real world is far more harming to a child than anything that has ever appeared on Pet Talk.

[wolfsoul]

I have to agree that sometimes we can go overboard. I'm not offended at all, nor do I think someone 13 or over would be, but, like has been said, some younger children can still read what we say.

I don't know if this has been mentioned, so forgive me, but sometimes I go on to other internet forums and see that you aren't able to go into a thread unless you are registered. Like a lock. Can't we do that with the dog house? Karen?

[Logan]

Aly, I for one, appreciate your willingness to bring up this topic. I guess I take more offense at how many of us, as adults, respond to certain posts than I do at the content of the posts. I get most "turned off" when there is what I view as attacks on individuals for a multitude of reasons, especially when it is something that is completely innocent or out of the poster's control (example: the length of someone's nickname, poor decisions by the parents of one of our members, etc). Good grief, it is probably better to leave it alone if you can't offer a supportive word. At least use the PM feature if you have a gripe, and be able to offer a solution when you do it!

I try to set good examples for my own child, and that is sort of my "rule" on all the groups I belong to, including Pet Talk. I don't want to say anything here that I wouldn't be comfortable saying in front of my 12 year old daughter. She reads here, although she doesn't participate, and we talk about things that go on at Pet Talk that upset me, and the things that make me smile. She knows my value system and as far as I know, she lives it. We drink in moderation, don't try to hide that, but letting her and our other children know that moderation is the key is very important! That is just one example, of course, and usually the Thursday posts are fun and relaxing for all of us.

The key thing is that probably all of us came to Pet Talk initially to share about our pets! The friendships came along as a result of our love for our animals, thus our interest in other parts of each other's lives, good and bad. And with friends, we all develop an interest in sharing and learning more about each other, including our political, religious and personal views, our health, our families, our grief, our joy, etc. That's healthy conversation that lets each of us know more about each other.

If everyone could stop and think before they post and try to analyze whether what they are getting ready to say really adds any benefit to the discussion, things like this might never even arise. I'm far from perfect (darn it). No one is perfect. But we can all remember the purpose of this site to begin with, which was to share the love of our pets, and post accordingly with respect for all members, young and old.

OK.....I'm stepping off my soapbox now.

Logan

[catland]

In defense of Thursday's.

When we're at Thursdays -
we don't smoke
we don't do drugs
we don't swear
we do drink - but there's no real alcohol involved since its a virtual bar.
we tell jokes - but we try to keep it clean.
we have a great time together
we don't turn anyone away at the door
we don't serve "liquor" to minors
we check our political opinions at the door
we help "clean up" afterwards.

If any of us cross the line, please let us know or PM us because we don't want people to feel uncomfortable.

If the idea of a virtual bar is offensive to you, but you like the idea of the camaraderie of Thursdays - you are most welcome to open up your own "restaurant" or "club" with a no alcohol rule.

[2kitties]

Originally posted by catland
If the idea of a virtual bar is offensive to you, but you like the idea of the camaraderie of Thursdays - you are most welcome to open up your own "restaurant" or "club" with a no alcohol rule.

Fantastic idea! Yes, and if you aren't comfortable with Dog House discussions, stay in the General Forum.

As the offending party in the situation where the login name was too long- well the darn thing was too long. It was bunking up the thread. If your avatar photo is too large, then it should be adjusted--- as should that nickname. It's just common courtesty and I refuse to belive that particular person didn't notice her name was too long. She just chose not to do anything about it.

[lbaker]

I started to read some of that other "teenage" site that Karen manages and I couldn't stand it. Now THAT was filth. We've had discussions here at PT before about "working girls" and go-go dancers that have never raised an eyebrow. Differences of opinion yes, but it was respectful and healthy. WE WERE JOKING and trying to lighten up with humor (ok, sarcastic humor maybe) yet another thread that was getting too serious... as if THAT's never happened before. I'm a hard working, older, widowed woman and pet caretaker to many animals and find the break in a busy, tense day that joking around with a few friends can give me - friends from all over the world even - a most refreshing thing in my life. nuff said, end of story

[Kfamr]

Most of the time sex, drugs and so on aren't really offensive to me -- But sometimes you all get WAY too out of hand, and it gets really gross.

Alcohol offends me no matter what. I guess some of you would just have to be in my shoes to understand, and you're not so I guess you never will. Alcohol isn't something that makes me happy, but Pet Talk is -- That's why I find it offensive when the two cross.

[Kfamr]

Originally posted by lbaker
I started to read some of that other "teenage" site that Karen manages and I couldn't stand it. Now THAT was filth.

Oh dear, that's why I never joined that board.
It was so disgusting how some of them talked,
and even Karen, our Snow Princess seemed alot nicer on this board.

[2kitties]

Originally posted by Kfamr
Alcohol offends me no matter what. I guess some of you would just have to be in my shoes to understand, and you're not so I guess you never will. Alcohol isn't something that makes me happy, but Pet Talk is -- That's why I find it offensive when the two cross.

Kfamr, I am honestly sorry for whatever effects alcohol has had on your life. But to insinuate that all those who drink or talk about alcohol are alcoholics or offensive- well, that's too much for me. I would respectfully suggest you stay away from threads which you know will offend you.

I also have to point you to your very own posts in the "Where did it Go" thread where you ask more than once to know what you missed. Clearly, if it was deleted, then it was subject matter found to be offensive. If you are easily offended by material, specifically that related to alcohol, then I also respectfully suggest you do not go in search of that offensive material.

[Kfamr]

Originally posted by 2kitties
Kfamr, I am honestly sorry for whatever effects alcohol has had on your life. But to say insinuate that all those who drink or talk about alcohol are alcoholics or offensive- well, that's too much for me. I would respectfully suggest you stay away from threads which you know will offend you.

I also have to point you to your very own posts in the "Where did it Go" thread where you ask more than once to know what you missed. Clearly, if it was deleted, then it was subject matter found to be offensive. If you are easily offended by material, specifically that related to alcohol, then I also respectfully suggest you do not go in search of that offensive material.

I never said anyone and everyone who drinks is alcoholics or offensive -- But, Alcohol IS. Alcohol is brought up in more than one thread, how am I supposed to know when and where?
And I don't know what will and won't offend me, until I read it.


And about "Where did it go?" - I was confused onto what "it" was. Again, never know if it was offensive to ME or not.

As for staying away from the Dog House(like some have suggested), Not all threads contain alcohol and get "Adult humor" like some of you like to call it.

[Cataholic]

2Kitties+Cataholic= a perfect (but, non-sexual, union). I just couldn't agree more! Do you have a brother, by chance?

[Soledad]

I think this whole discussion (as necessary as it may be to establish ground rules) is just annoying.

We were having a laugh. I doubt there's too much a kid could have gleaned from that (had they patience or inclination to even READ a thread on the war on Iraq) that they didn't already know or immediately dismiss.

Some people here just like to get offended, end of story. The mere mention of alcohol, cigarettes or nudity/sex sends them into an eye-rolling fury. So be it. But they can CHOOSE to stop reading such threads rather than force their tastes onto everyone else. As long as no one is outright swearing and writing about explicit acts, I don't see the problem.

If you can't stand the heat...

[Cataholic]

Kfamr....this is one of those threads that SEEMS likely to get out of control, and upset you....why don't you just stop reading it now, before you get upset? So often we go at it, and at it, and by then, it is too late to 'undo'. My suggestion is just a warning, before we all reach that point.

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by Soledad
If you can't stand the heat...

....then, get your butt outta my kitchen!

p.s., my 'butt' as referenced above, is fully clad.