What's your opinion?

[babolaypo65]

Nah, I don't think I was taken advantage of. I learned an important lesson really, I had always assumed that ALL older people knew more, had all the answers, had it all figured out... and in the past had probably done some dumb things because of it. But being with him I realized that he DIDNT have all the answers, and really was no wiser than I was in some ways. He was really rather...stunted. It taught me that not all older people are wise...
I dunno, does that make sense?

Sorry to hear you were left feeling taken advantage of. Hope it wasnt anything too bad.

Originally posted by Cataholic
I was in a similar situation. I was 23, he was 37....THEN, I saw nothing wrong with it. NOW, I think I was taken advantage of....what about you?

[Twisterdog]

In my opinion as long as both people are legal adults, and there is no power difference between them (ie like teacher/student, boss/employee, coach/athlete) then I have no objections to an age difference.

I agree. I think who someone dates/marries is no ones business but their own. Who are we to say what is/is not correct, appropriate, right or wrong for two adults? It's really none of anyone's business who someone else loves.

Life is short. If one is lucky enough to find that special person that they can love forever, why should it matter to anyone else if that person is 10, 20, 30 years older or younger?

My grandmother was 11 years younger than my grandfather. They were happily married for almost seventy years, madly in love until the end. They had four kids, twenty some grandkids, almost 100 great-grandkids. They were the sweetest, most loving couple I have ever seen, seriously, still crazy about each other until the day my grandfather died. So, why should anyone care that he was eleven years older than she?

My brother in law is 15 years older than my sister, they've been married for almost 26 years. Again, whose business is it that they aren't nearly the same age.

[cali]

well my parents are 10 years apart, it doesnt seem bad now, but when you think about it my dad was 16 when my mom was 6!

[Fox-Gal]

What's my opinion? lol

Well I'm 45 and my husband is 27....So I guess you know my opinion on it.

Honstly, before I meet him I didn't think I could ever see my self with a younger man. Thought it was a little sick. But after a few years of dating men more my age, I just got tired of some of their ways. I'm not a typical 45 year old woman so most men my age bored me.

Then I meet my now husband and after a long time of him convincing me to give him a chance...I did. I'm gald now I did, He a wonderful man and not a typical 27 year old. So we match well toghter.

Age doesn't matter, it's what the combination of two people toghter makes and as long as that combination makes you a better person, happier person, stronger person, then that all that matters in the long run.

I am a better person because of him as is he because of me.

So for those that think it sick or odd, remember that use to be what I said. But things can change real quick when you meet that special someone.

[iceyshiver21]

I guess if your in love go for it!! UNLESS OF COURSE...your too young to know what love is...

[Pam]

Wow Fox-Gal that is a different slant on the topic! Usually it is the older man/younger woman thing that makes it to the papers, etc. Do we dare mention Anna Nicole? I am wondering what your in-laws feel about your marriage. Looking at your situation I believe if you and your hubby are both happy then so am I, but if I was an in-law I might feel differently. My son is 29 and I think if he began dating a woman 18 years his senior I would not be real happy. (No insult intended! I am just being honest!) Have there been any problems?

[jenluckenbach]

Just so you know, My husband of 20 years is 18 years older than I am. Proof that it can work and be true love depending on the individuals involved.

(my huband graduated high school in the year I wasn born )

[Cataholic]

Originally posted by babolaypo65
Nah, I don't think I was taken advantage of. I learned an important lesson really, I had always assumed that ALL older people knew more, had all the answers, had it all figured out... and in the past had probably done some dumb things because of it. But being with him I realized that he DIDNT have all the answers, and really was no wiser than I was in some ways. He was really rather...stunted. It taught me that not all older people are wise...
I dunno, does that make sense?

Sorry to hear you were left feeling taken advantage of. Hope it wasnt anything too bad.

And, maybe it is because of how you explained it, but, I think that is what I was referring to. In my situation, I think he was stunted. I was 23, one year out of college...what did I have to offer to someone 37 yo? Nothing, in my opinion. But, I kept him from having to deal with people his own age...and that, I am sure, was alot easier for him.

[Cataholic]

And, so that it is clear I am not being offensive to Jen and Fox-gal, this was MY situation, he was a troubled man, and still is! So, I believe it can work, and should work.....

[Tonya]

Nah, I don't think I was taken advantage of. I learned an important lesson really, I had always assumed that ALL older people knew more, had all the answers, had it all figured out... and in the past had probably done some dumb things because of it. But being with him I realized that he DIDNT have all the answers, and really was no wiser than I was in some ways. He was really rather...stunted. It taught me that not all older people are wise...

My first husband was 32 and I was 19 when we got married. That is exactly what I learned. Just because they are older doesn't mean they are wiser! lol.

[Fox-Gal]

Originally posted by Pam
Wow Fox-Gal that is a different slant on the topic! Usually it is the older man/younger woman thing that makes it to the papers, etc. Do we dare mention Anna Nicole? I am wondering what your in-laws feel about your marriage. Looking at your situation I believe if you and your hubby are both happy then so am I, but if I was an in-law I might feel differently. My son is 29 and I think if he began dating a woman 18 years his senior I would not be real happy. (No insult intended! I am just being honest!) Have there been any problems?

His mother amazed me when it came to us. From the first day I meet her till the day she passed, she loved me and made me promise to always be a part of her family. I've never had a problem with any of his family, honestly I was expecting some problems.....but none ever came up.

Now my Father was taken back at first, till he meet him. He question was "What does that boy see in you?" I still not sure how to take that question... He's ok with it now. He's only problem now is, he just wants Paul to learn to play golf, if he going to be a part of this family. LOL

I understand your honety about if it was your son dating a older woman. I went months before I would even meet Paul's mother because of that reason. I just knew she would have a problem with it and I could not blame her. I too thought the same thing, if it was my child, how would I feel? The day I first met her she greeted me at the door with, "Oh you are beautiful" and huged/kissed me. So all my worrys were for nothing.

I think what is came down too is once they saw their child happier then ever before, they set aside their frears and finally realize that the only thing that matters is thier happiness. Before Paul I had gone through a terrible marriage and a nasty divorce, that lasted years and years. My X did some horrible things towards the end, so I belive that my family was just gald to see me smile for a change.

[mugsy]

Mike and I are 7.5 years apart (I'm older) and it means nothing. I guess I don't think it really matters if you care about each other and have something in common.

[2kitties]

Originally posted by Fox-Gal
What's my opinion? lol

Well I'm 45 and my husband is 27....So I guess you know my opinion on it.

stands up and cheers! YOU GO GIRL!

[Karen]

I think that once you are adults, it doesn't matter much. There's so much involved in marriage besides physical attraction or "consumating" it. Love and friendship, trust and interests in common ... All those things should factor in before age, and for some people, age doesn't matter!

I read when I was a teenager that, because women live longer than men, women should marry someone 8 years younger than themselves ... but those 3rd-graders didn't really appeal to me! (For the record, Paul and I are within a month of each other agewise (I'm older!).)

[mugsy]

I forgot....my parents are 9.5 years (to the day) apart. My dad is older. He is 85 and my mom is 75 and they have now been married for 54 years.....I guess that answered that eh?? lol