Lily is here now - but oh well...

[NoahsMommy]

Kristen,
Do you have a screen door? If so, can you take it off and put it in front of the door Lily is in? That way, they wouldn't cry or scratch and they'd still be separated?

Integrating a new cat can be very stressful, its hard dealing with scratching on the door when you just want them to go lay down and be happy. Just be patient and they'll come around.

As far as Luna, make sure she's given a TON of extra love. That way, she'll have a hard time being mad at you.

[Kirsten]

No, I don't have such a door.

Lily always wants to be close to me, and I can see how it's breaking Luna's heart. I feel so bad for her.

It's bed time now, and I'm afraid Lily will decide to sleep in my bed which will look to Luna like another slap into her face, literally spoken.

Of course I'm trying to give a lot of love to Luna now, even though she doesn't seem to appreciate it at the moment. I'm also showing her she's the alpha cat; she's the first who gets her bowl filled and she's getting extra attention. But while she's pawing at me, Lily comes and purrs and cuddles, and it's hard to resist her.

Funny thing is, Luna hasn't been in my bed in ages, but since Lily slept there earlier today, she's suddenly showing interest in this place again. Same goes for other places Lily has explored. Geez, they're acting like jealous little kids! LOL

Looks like we still have a very long road to go...

Kirsten

[PayItForward]

Originally posted by Kirsten
Funny thing is, Luna hasn't been in my bed in ages, but since Lily slept there earlier today, she's suddenly showing interest in this place again. Same goes for other places Lily has explored. Geez, they're acting like jealous little kids! LOL

Jealous Kids is the right phrase. I would let Luna have her own way, if she wants to sleep in your bed, let her. Just until she feels more secure.

We have always let the cat decide on how quickly they want to be friendly with the resident cat. We have always made sure that new cat is seperated from resident cats when we are not present.

And the best piece of advice I got when I introduced Milly to George......Relax and leave them be.

Relax ....As the kits will pick up on you moods and worry if you do!!
Leave them be....Don't interfer if they hiss or fight, unless you see blood. I made earlier introductions harder as I interfered ,these days I still watch but I leave them to sort stuff out cat way.

PS. It can take up to six months before a cat truely settles in some cases, though I'm sure it will be quicker for Luna & Lily.


WHERE ARE THE PHOTOS ???

[Cataholic]

Kirsten,
Really, I can't tell you anything the others haven't already said. I think it was ACGAS???? that said, "a glass of wine will help"...patience, my friend, patience. I have six that live together...peacefully. But, would you believe, littersmates, Allie and Dakky, sometimes STILL fuss with one another?

[krazyaboutkatz]

Kirsten, I'm so happy to hear that Lily is now home with you. As others have said, it just takes time and patience. Not all cats will get along quickly and some may never get along. I was very lucky in that when I adopted my RB Pepper as a kitten he bonded with Storm in just 1 hour. I thought this was normal but now I realise that I was just very lucky.

Right now all of my cats get along very well except for Storm and Cirrus. I've had Cirrus for almost 5 months now and Storm still chases him into my bathroom or under my bed. They may never like each other but only tolerate each other. Time will tell. I'm sure you'll have better luck with Luna and Lily because they're both young. Good luck and please keep us updated.

Please post some pictures when you can.

[shais_mom]

I have never introduced kitties so I have no advice but just to be patient.
Congratulations on lovely Lily and pics asap would be wonderful!

[catland]

I know this must feel so stressful. You see all the pics of the kitties at PT that get along so well that you might feel like something is wrong with your kitties.

This is not the case. They will adjust. They might become snuggle kitties but they might not. My kitties don't snuggle or groom or any of those other cute things that some people's kitties do, but they know that they are family.

Take care - it will get better.

[IttyBittyKitty]

We've had a lot of experience, and fun, introducing new cats over the years! I've seen the gamut: love at first sight, indifference, right through to hate at first sight My Mum's two dislike each other and they are Mum and daughter!

No matter how bad it was at first, the one thing that was common in all these situations is tolerance. Cats are territorial creatures, and once the "pecking" order is established, they seem to learn to tolerate one another. Mum introduced two Siamese crosses (mum and daughter who don't like eachother) to two purebred Burmese (her boyfriend's cats) and despite much hissing and carrying on, the four cats lived together for over a year before the relationship went bust. Well, that time anyway!

Be patient with Luna, she is used to being Top Cat and it will probably take some time to readjust. Whether she learns to love Lily, or merely tolerate her, they will both love their Meowmie, which is what counts

[moosmom]

Kirsten,

Cataholic is right...a glass (or 2 ) of wine will definitely help the stress level.

The one thing I've learned after introducing all my cats is, as long as there is no bloodshed, don't worry about it!!!

Hang in there, things WILL calm down. In the meantime, *sip, sip*

[ScantyNebula]

Kirsten, this sounds EXACTLY like the situation my Toby and Lily had. Only it was the other way around - Lily was showing TOBY who was boss She bossed him around! Evertime she would see him she would hiss at him, and, after time they began swiping at each other. I tried separating them, but Toby/Lily would scratch at the door constantly - the thing is it seemed like even though they appeared to hate each other, they wanted to be next to each other =/ Toby would always try to sniff her, and when she noticed, she would hiss and swipe at him. Toby would usually back off, until he finally started fighting back - thats when things started to improve in their relationship

Toby acted strangely first when Lily was around. I would try to pet him or pick him up and he would growl at ME! I'd say just give Luna her space, and when she comes to YOU for affection, give her extra! Let them wrestle ..I think they have to work out their differences

It didn't take my furkids long to accept the fact that they had to live together, and give it time, I'm sure yours will too. Mine still aren't huge cuddlers, but they get along great now.

[Kirsten]

LOL, I think a bottle of wine isn't such a bad idea!

I'm trying to follow your advices here and not too worry too much, and I don't interfere when they're growling. It seems they're having less problems when I'm not around anyway, so I figure a lot of their behavior has to do with jealousy regarding my person.

They still hiss and growl when they meet each other, but they also relax and sleep - when they're in different rooms. Sometimes I'm closing the door behind Luna and me, that way I have some extra time with her without having Baby Lily around.

Even though Luna is the one who starts the hissing and growling, it's becoming more and more obvious that Lily is taking over the leading role here - not in an agressive way, but she knows how to get her little way. Here is showing that Luna has been taken away from her mommy and litter mates at the early age of 6 weeks, so she never had a chance to learn things like that, while Lily grew up in a household with her brother and 6 boxer puppies. Like I said, she's not agressive, but seems to have a lot of self confidence.

Here's a good example how she acts, so I think it's only a question of time till Lily is taking over here...


Kirsten

[Miss Meow]

You've had some great advice, so I won't add anything, except to say good luck Ours took about three weeks to accept the two new-comers, and Jasmine a few months to truly accept them, so day by day Lily and Luna will hopefully make progress.