Is it Thursday yet???

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by momoffuzzyfaces
I want a red slushy thingy too, please! And some white chocolte covered pretzels, if you've got!
thanx

moff.....
white choc pretzels....and a red slushie thing!

DONE!

[Airedalekisses]

sorry Richard, I'll keep it clean!
You know you're a redneck if you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

May I have a refill of the lime frappe? my lips aren't quite puckery enough. thank you

[RICHARD]

Originally posted by Airedalekisses
sorry Richard, I'll keep it clean!
You know you're a redneck if you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

May I have a refill of the lime frappe? my lips aren't quite puckery enough. thank you

LOLOLOLOLOL....


hey do you want a job as the lunch time entertainment?

NOW APPEARING IN THE THURSDAY LOUNGE (YOUR NAME HERE)

a double lime frappe'....


DONE!

[catland]

Are there going to be auditions for the Lounge Act?

[slick]

I just did a google search for redneck jokes........didn't know there were so many. This one is my favourite. Please, no offence to any Rednecks out there.

10 Ways to tell if a Redneck has been working on a Computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM ports have truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Bubba".
4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder(CD-ROM drive).
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

AND the number 1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer is...

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

A nice slushy red thingy please and thank you Richard. Where's the craps table??

Oh and BTW, if you're taking names for auditions, no lounge lizards please.

[RICHARD]

red slushies, coming up...

yes there will be auditions...or you all can share the spotlight, that way no one is slighted!!!!

Done!!!

craps table is in the back.....don't tell the ABC board!!!

[RICHARD]

A jumper cable walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
>>
A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."
>>
>>
>>
>> A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
>>
>>
>> A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and
says:
>>
>> "A beer please and one for the road."

[slick]

A termite walks into the bar and says

"Where's the bar-tender"

How to drive an idiot crazy?? Give 'em a box of M & Ms and tell them to put them in alphabetical order....

but seriously folks, you're a great audience......

[RICHARD]

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed,is there anything you can do for him? "

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says,"I'm going to have to put him down."

"What?, Because he's cross-eyed?"

"No, because he's really heavy"

[Cincy'sMom]

Two guys walked into a bar. ...

The third ducked!


Has anyone seen the Heineken commerical inthe bar. All the bar jokes are there...the preist the nun and the rabbi, the horse, the blond brunette, the redhead, etc etc. It is cute

[slick]

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road
drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.

The passenger, Bubba,said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a
po-lice roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these
here beers!!"

"Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and
finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it
on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat."

"What fer?" asked Bubba.

"Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl.

Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under
the seat, and each put a label on their forehead.

When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys
been drinkin'?"

"No sir," Earl said. "We're on the patch."
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If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
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[catland]

Four brewery presidents walk into a bar. The
guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey, Senior,
I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."
The bartender gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best
beer in the world. Give me 'The king of beers,' a
Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer
made with Rocky Mountain spring water. Give me a
Coors." The bartender gives it to him.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me
a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback,
but gives it to him.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask,
"Why arent't you drinking a Guinness?"

The Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured
if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

[catland]

DOH - The stuff that buys me beer.
RAY - The guy who sells me beer.
ME - The guys who drinks the beer.
FAR - A long way to get beer.
SO - I'll have another beer.
LA - I'll have another beer.
TEA - No thanks I'm drinking beer. and that brings me back to
DOH!

[iceyshiver21]

Poor molly. I had a good week uptil about an hour ago. I was just told that I can't qualify for the statefair, because I forgot to send in a form yesterday. I wait all year to show Annie at the state fair we work so hard. 4H is soppose to be fun you shouldn't have to fill out 40 different sheets just to tell them that you wanna show your novice dog in obedaince. I'm so upset. But as usaul all the people at pettalk make my day alittle better. I still don't know what I'm gonna do. I can't show in any other shows as because I do not have the money and Annie is a mixed bred, so no AKC shows for us.

Hey, Rich could I get some....lemonaid?

[Airedalekisses]

Oh, no this always happens when I wear my red sequined thong-the jokes start flying! Guess I could sing-I knowed he was married cuz both sides of he pickup had tobacco stains.... I'm too flat to sing, ahem!