Too Soon?

[crow_noir]

omg! 3-g-a-a-m, that's exactly how i felt when i brought King into my life. after 18 years of Baron being gone, i felt like i was cheeting on him because of how much love i felt for king. 18 years and the pain has never left. but after a week i realized he would want nothing more then for me to be happy. i'm so used to Specks feeling ultimate jealousy. for severl weeks i still had feelings of guilt, but it finally faded away.

Staci, i defintly agree about the dog not being replaced. (though, a few people do that, but they don't love their dogs as much as all of us do in my oppinion.) i think a new dog is great for helping ease the pain. and no matter what, don't think you're obligated to forget about Shai. you shouldn't. i say that, because i know it's going to be suggested to you by someone.

[shais_mom]

The next time I see my friend I am going to tell her I will take that puppy. Until then I will try not to get toooooo excited. As I have at least 8-9 weeks to wait.
I am never going to replace Shai, she was a wonderful friend and companion. The next puppy will just find a place beside Shai in my heart and help me thru this time.

I think it is exactly what the doctors at pettalk ordered!!!
Today was very hard for me b/c it has been a week w/o her.

Aly did you get my email? When I tell people what you did about the website, everyone is so touched. I just can't express to them how great the people here are. and how grateful I am to all of you for helping thru this time.
Thank you for worrying about me, I know I worried about you and Harley and you and Lolly also.
As I stated before Kylie is my sweet little white furball of an angel. When she came into my home, I was so worried about Shaianne not feeling left out, and neglected. She was the only child for a year and a half, and had to deal with this traumatized kitty. Now I worry about Kylie, which is why I want a puppy, I think it will be easier for her to adjust to. and vice versa.
I too think this is fate, I never thought I would get a dog from some place other than a shelter or pound or "free puppy" ad. We shall see if this was meant to be. I will keep you posted as always!!!

[ September 21, 2001: Message edited by: shais_mom ]

[Pam]

Staci I am glad to see that you are looking forward to the future and getting excited over your potential new pup! If you are ready then I say it's time!! I think Kylie will adjust just fine and especially if your new addition is a puppy. They should learn to peacefully co-exist as my cats did when Bella came along. They had lived 3 years without a dog in the house but they never forgot, and they gave Bella a fitting feline welcome.

When we finally decided to get another standard poodle my hubby wanted another black one, the color of our sweet Whitney. I felt that would be wrong. Even though we knew Whitney couldn't be replaced, I felt just seeing a black dog in the house again would stir some memories. I wanted my pup to have her own identity and to me that meant looking different as well. It looks to me like being "mommy" to a golden retriever might be just what the doctor ordered. Please keep us posted on your progress as you heal and get ready for your new pup. Oh, and Trevor and Andy say to prepare Kylie because kitties don't like surprises!

[cr7clark]

Hi Staci,
The grieving process/recovery process is the same with cat owners. We lost our beloved Valentine three years ago, and it did take us a year to grieve and finally decide we wanted to have another cat. Well, it turned out that we got four cats!!! I know most people want to rescue pets from a shelter or pick them up from the "want ads" and that's a good thing, no question. However, I urge people to be open about getting a purebred animal. Our four babies came to us from three different breeders. All came with papers, and the best thing about it is that all of them came with perfect manners and behavior. These were cats that were kept in a cattery (like a kennel, large place w/separate rooms for cats) and had some human contact but not a lot. The breeders were absolutely delighted to find a home for these cats so they could have a lot more human interaction. I didn't care whether or not I got purebred cats or which color or which sex, all I wanted was cats to love and hug and spoil, and that's exactly what I got. In addition to some lovely and very well-behaved pets, I got three very good sources of advice and help with cat illnesses, food choices, etc. because breeders keep in touch with those who adopt their cats and they are wonderful sources of information, even at 10 PM when your cat is throwing up or has diarrhea .
One of the four cats now lives with my Mom in Virginia; the only male cat couldn't get along with the dominant female so the breeder took him back and he now has a wonderful home in NJ; that left us with Bo and Abby, and Abby got sick last June and is now at the rainbow bridge. Bo is here with us and she is such a spoiled priss, but every bit a lady and probably the best pet I've ever owned. (excuse me, she owns me I think!) I've been able to find cats for other friends through the cat breeder network, and if I ever wanted another cat or cats, all it would take would be one E-mail and I'd have multiple offers of adult "retired friends" as they are called in the business.
You've done the right thing and I know the puppy will have a wonderful home

[TollSettFK]

This is kind of an odd statement, but anyway, what would Shai want you to do? I know that he loved you because of everythings you said about him, and I know he wouldn't want you not be happy. Go ahead and get another little pleasure: another dog. You'll never forget Shai, and she'll always be in your heart, but I think another dog may just comfort you, and I know you'll enjoy it. Good Luck! :-)

[Logan]

Staci.....I am smiling "BIG" for you and for Shai

[aly]

BosMom - You can also find perfectly behaved, sweet, spoiled little angels at the shelter Also a lot of shelters (and especially rescues) will keep in contact with you about health and behavior issues because they don't want to see the animals returned.

Staci - I'm glad you liked the webpage. I have some good ideas for it... Hopefully I can do them without failing miserably

[Daisy's Mom]

I am so excited for you Stacey! I know you won't regret getting a new sweet puppy. Just be prepared to show us a lot of pictures

[shais_mom]

Hello!
I am having some doubts of course, as I think that is natural in any way. I keep saying to myself, the next dog is going to be completely different from Shaianne.
Its so hard, you can't imagine life w/o your pet, and then one day they are gone and now you have life w/o your pet. You want to go on b/c you know that is what they want, but you also don't want to hurt their feelings by moving on.
I think in my heart of hearts even tho it is very sad right now, Shaianne would want me to go on and give a new puppy/dog a new and better life like she had. She was so happy, she lived life to the fullest. She loved me unconditionally, and I loved her unconditionally, and she would want me to love that way again.

Aly,
You could never fail miserably when it comes to Shai's page, whatever you decide to do with it is such a gift to me and to my baby girl.
I am having some guilty feelings over wanting this puppy, simply b/c I have been an advocate of shelter/pound adoptions since I got Shaianne. But this puppy needs a home when it comes into this world also, and I can't help but think that I would give it a great home. I think I will ask my friend if I can see the puppies when they are a few weeks old, and see if I am ready then. If I am ready then the good Lord and Shai will let me know, if I am not, then they will let me know that also and the puppy is not meant to be with me and it can find a good home with someone else. I hope.
I would love to welcome that puppy or any puppy into my heart, home and arms but if its not meant to be, then its not meant to be. I will find another one someday. Maybe sooner than later!! Or Later than Sooner!!!
Thanks keep all advice coming, as I need it desperatly now.

[ September 22, 2001: Message edited by: shais_mom ]

[aly]

Staci, like others I really feel this is fate for you to have that pup, BUT only you will know. And of course we will all stand behind whatever decision you make. It is normal to have doubts. When my 14 year old lab died, I didn't feel like I should ever get another dog again. Dessi let me know though that it was time to move on and she would watch over me. Even though I have 2 dogs now, I also keep Dessi in my heart and mind, and after a year and a half, I haven't forgetten her in the least. You won't forget about Shai, and you won't be betraying Shai. She will let you know. And we will be here for you

[Logan]

Something tells me that when you see those little furry bundles of love, you'll know what to do! Will you get to choose the puppy you want? And do you want a male or female? I have heard postive things both ways...some people believe that males bond with the "mom" (as in you) better than females. But I am living proof that Helen and I could not be loved more than we are by our two girls.

You'll know, Staci, and whatever you decide, its ok! We just want you to be happy!

[shais_mom]

You guys are great!
I stopped today at work to tell my friend that I would take the puppy. She said "Well, they are not born yet!" I said "I know and I think that is best." I think that will give me more time to heal and prepare myself for the arrival.
She said that when they are born we can go over and I can pick out the one I want. I would like a female. I am partial to them for some reason. I think "puppy breath" is just what the doctor ordered, and the timing will be right.
I agree with what Sue said earlier about Killian and Avanlanche. I think Shai crossed to the bridge to give this puppy a chance in the world, who knows where it would go?! Shai's crossing for that reason and the gift that she is giving those people at the bridge is one the most beautiful unselfish things. I still miss her everyday and will miss her everyday for the rest of my life. But with this decision, I also think she is smiling down on Kylie and I with that beautiful greyhound grin that I loved so much.
I know when the puppy comes into my life, there will probably be tears of joy and sadness. I never got to experience Shai's puppy stage, so it will be wonderful to have that. And I think Kylie will adjust better to a puppy. They will be the same size at first!!!
Thank you for all the advice and keep it coming, I love to hear different opinions.

[ArfArf2U]

My very first thought was, All things happen for a reason. And this very kind gesture is here for a reason. It was just plain meant to be. So, stop beating yourself up, and worrying is it too soon. And go for it. I bet all things work out fine. You will know deep in your heart if the time is right. and I also agree, papers are here nor there, when it comes to loving animals. I know it is very difficult when a beloved pet crosses over. But, please remember all things happen for a reason. No accidents here. At least that is what I believe. Best of LUCK to you. Keep us posted.

[carrie]

Although I have worked with hundreds of dogs they are all so different and some come along that are SO special....
If the ones that touched my heart in a life long way were such a horrible thing to lose I would never look at another dog.
Instead, those dogs, as much as I miss them and will never forget them, give me the reason to go on and meet and get to know other dogs. Every dog that passes out of my life gives me the incentive to go on and get to know others.
If you have a really bad marriage, for instance, it does not make you feel that great about marrying again, does it? If you have a great marriage..........
There is nothing to feel guilty about. You are saying that Shai and the relationship you had with her was so great that you are willing to try and make a similar relationship again.
It will not be the same, but it was so good you another relationship with a dog.
This is a tribute to Shai that you feel this way.
This is something that Shai has given you, not something you should be feeling bad about.
If Shai had been horrible, hated you, not shown you love and not been loveable would you even be thinking about another dog?

[Sudilar]

So little time, so many to be rescued. That's why I will be looking for another to save very shortly after the passing of my present beloved dogs. What better tribute than to save another one in the same predicament? No time to waste.