The worst thing that could ever happen.....

[purrfectpaws]

Hi Angel,
Carla here in NH and I too am very sorry about that. I cringe when I see animals that have gotten hit in the road and my husband knows how I feel about that. It may be a squirrel or a raccoon or whatever it may be and my heart saddens. My lips curve down and I have a sad pouty look on my face because I don't want them to be dead. On my way home from work one night, when I lived in Las Vegas, I came upon a dog that had been hit and killed. It was a tan Cocker Spaniel and I pulled over and picked him up with a king size pillow case that happened to be in my trunk and placed him on the side of the road, I covered him with the pillow case. I called the city to let them know where the dog was. I was crying sooo bad for the rest of the ride home. I felt so bad and then I thought of how someone would be missing their dog and not even know that it was dead. Oh, my heart hurts right now thinking of that dog. Angel, these things happen and there was nothing that you could do, so just remember that.

[ July 14, 2001: Message edited by: purrfectpaws ]

[Logan]

Angel,
I simply did not know what words to say earlier to make you feel better. I would have reacted the exact same way you did. And everyone here has said just the right thing, like they always do.

Isn't it wonderful to have such a loving community?

I hope your Friday is a good one. I'm sure anything will be an improvement on this day. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. And I'm extra happy that you have such a sweet, supportive husband, as many of the folks on this board do.

Logan

[Karen]

Angel, you know in your heart that we are right, it was an accident. My only suggestion would be that you write a note to the owners of the dog apologizing for the loss of their dog (without bringing up his being loose, we cannot know why that was), and tell them how awful you honestly feel, so that they know it was indeed an acident, and that it wasn't someone who hit the dog on purpose. You can give the note in a sealed envelope to the police department or animal control, so that if anyone comes forward, they can hand them the note, or if they won't do this, ask for the owners name and address so you can send the note to them. Include, if you can get up the courage to do this, a copy of the Rainbow Bridge poem, and a note of condolence, if you will, from the Pet Talk community. Don't feel you have to sign the note, just let them know it WAS an accident, and that you are sorry.

Don't feel you must take my suggestion, or that anyone here will think any less of you either way.

Chin up, be brave, and hug a dog every day.

[shipugtzus]

PLEASE...DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF !!!!!!!1
Accidents happen,we all have experienced that.It is not your fault.I do not care how careful you are,sometimes these lovable creatures are just to quick,and there is nothing you can do.Especially when you are in traffic.It was nobody's fault,it just happened.It could have happened to any of us.I know how you feel and it hurts,but you can't dwellon it.Keep your chin up,your still a wonderful Doggiemom!!!!!!...Sandy

Karen you are so right. I kept thinking of things I could do today to let the possible owners know what happened. I contemplated calling radio stations or writing an editorial to the paper or something. I especially wanted to say a few words the that woman who thought she had the right to rip me apart. This is why I wanted my husband to let the police know my plate number so they could contact me if need be.

I think I will write up something and get it out - Hopefully someone will come forward. My worst fear is that this poor animal was a long-time stray and no one really misses him or her. But, even though I never knew this dog, I miss him and I know he is in a better place.

Thank you for your suggestion and thank you again to everyone. I cannot stress my gratitude enough.

The best thing to happen today was my husband's reaction to all of your kind words. Remember, he didn't want me to post this. He was afraid I would be ridiculed. I assured him you were all much better people than that. See, I have a lot more faith and trust in people than he does... I just hope it doesn't burn me someday. Anyway, when he read your thoughts and kind words he had tears in his eyes and was very glad that I shared this with you all. He couldn't believe the support I have received.

So, thank you for that. Thank you for proving me right; That this world IS filled with amazing and loving people.

P.S - I have a little surprise coming on the web page I have made. I hope you all like it. I will post the link as soon as it's finished.

[KYS]

I also agree with everyones posts.

Karen,
That is an excellent idea, so the
healing process can begin on both sides.

[ July 13, 2001: Message edited by: KYS ]

[Pam]

Beautifully put Spencer!!

[Gio]

I only read your post today. I agree with everyone else it was just an accident, don't blame yourself (even though if it happened to me I would be just as devastated as you).

On a busy road like that it is very dangerous to stop, I'm sure that if the circumstantes would have been different you would have done so. Not only, but you did everything you could: you alerted the police and were willing to leave your details. You have done so much more than a lot of people would have done.

Please take care of yourself, you will get over it.

[Daisy's Mom]

I am so sorry about the accident! I just read it today and I hope I am not posting too late and bringing back bad thoughts. I just wanted to ask you to please not blame yourself, and DO NOT do those awful "I should have"s. Those are bad. I was just talking to my best friend today about the death of one of our friends, Dan. He was killed in Febuary when his car slipped on black ice. He was a wonderful kid, and only 18. Beleive it or not, she blames herself for his death! She was going to invite him on a vacation but decided not to at the last minute. She said if he had gone, he wouldn't have been driving on that road here and wouldn't have hit that ice. Doesn't that sound awful? It wasn't her fault and it most certainly wasn't your fault that you hit that dog. You are a wonderful, compassionate, animal-loving person and we know it, and you should know it too. I know how awful you feel. When my best friend and I were driving one day on a very busy road, a bird flew right into our windshield. We could tell by the way it fell limp to the road that it was dead, but we pulled over right away. This road is like a highway so we were unable to get to see the bird, but we were crying and shaking. We said a little prayer for him and left. You just have to get over it and know it wasn't your fault. The dog knows that and so does God. And we know it, and we love you! I hope you are feeling better!

[tatsxxx11]

Angel, I agree with EVERYONE!!! Please do not blame yourself. I know how devastated you must feel; but it WAS an accident. On a road such as that, it would have been incredibly dangerous for you, as well as for others, to stop. You did all the right things at the right time. More than most would ever do. Being the wonderfully loving and caring person that you are, that we all know you are Angel, is what makes it so painful for you. If you were not the beautiful, compassionate person that we all know and love, you would not be feeling such sadness. But think of Spencer's words....and remember, character is what you are, how you act, when no one is looking. You know deep down in your heart you would never intentionally hurt a living creature; it truly was an unavoidable accident. Time WILL soften the pain. We all support you 100% Angel. You are our family. When one of our own hurts, we all do.

[Eudora]

Angel, don't blame yourself!! It isn't. your. fault!!! You get any hate mail, girl, pass it to me and see what that idiot gets!!
Anyway, we're all here for you. Accidents happen. That dog, well maybe it was just time for it to go. Take your time to grieve and then go on with life. I was involved in an animal accident and I actually fainted! So, it's OK. Cry as much as you need to. We all understand.

[Eudora]

Originally posted by SpencerTheLion:
<STRONG>Angel,

Believe it or not, there is still more to say...

Reputation: How a person seems to the public.
Character: How a person really is. This is best revealed in private and/ or with strangers.

Examples of character include:
- At an isolated country intersection, stoping even though there is no one to issue a ticket.
- Even when a customer or client is leaving, still treating them well.
- The kinds of things you surf for on the net.
- They way strangers are treated.

Many people are at their ruddest when they think they are anynomous - on the phone, posting e-mail, and yes, on the road.

To sum up the unfortunate traffic incident Thursday:

- You felt for another (the dog).
- She (the abusive woman) felt for herself.
- You felt grief.
- She felt rage.
- You wished the dog life.
- She wished you ill.
- You had compassion.
- She had indifference and unbridled anger. Which is the opposite of love? Does it matter?
- You could not have prevented the accident.
- She could have prevented her actions.
- You asked for help.
- She needs help.</STRONG>

Wonderful, Spencer!I wouldn't have looked at it so calmly. Just read my previous post. *hehe*

Just when I thought your words couldn't be anymore supportive and beautiful I was proven wrong. Thank you so much Eudora, Sandra and Bridget. Spencer, your insight is incredible. You are so right, it is how you act when you think no one is looking that matters. We had a sermon at church about this. It makes you think....

Things are better and I am getting over it. I have been able to joke about "that woman" but I still have the whole image of every second replaying in my head. Sometimes I just flinch and I dwell on it again. I try not to think badly of that woman but it's hard. Something my husband told me a few years ago just echos in my head and really helps me deal with people on a daily basis....

You know when you are driving and someone cuts you off on accident or does something stupid and it upsets you...well, he told me that maybe you just caught them on a bad day. Maybe they are very compitent people and just made a mistake that you happen to see. You can call them names and get upset but you have only encountered them for that moment in time. So, don't judge people for things like that. We all make mistakes.

I am applying this thought to what happened Thursday. She and I encountered each other at a very bad moment in time. I won't judge her and she shouldn't have judged me. It was traumatic for both of us.... end of story.

Thanks for being supportive. I think of this board as a big part of my life and you all make it a much happier place. I enjoy your insight and advice and I truly believe that you have all contributed to me trying to be a better person. It seems like I have some pretty big shoes to follow in

[ July 14, 2001: Message edited by: doggiemom ]

[tatsxxx11]

Dear Angel....I hope you sleep a little better tonight. Hold tight to your precious babies, Maddie, Sasha and Lexi...And your very special husband. We all love you... Sandra

[jackiesdaisy1935]

Angel, I think your husband has the right idea, good for him. Take care of yourself and try to think good thoughts.
Jackie