hewlo everbuddy!! tiz iz Patches. I want to tel you all what my mommee did to me today! her waz veree mean to me !

jus coz I have a wittel bit of dandruff problem, she put me in the shower, an her close the dorr!! I cant get out, I try to reach up, and I meow and yowl, but her ignor me! and then,.. oh no, her pour water on my back tree timez her do this to mee.

then her rub some stuff on my back, and I kind of like that, I calm down for a while, but the shower spray scares me.(even tho she had it on barely warm and veree low pressure) then her poour more water over me! tree or for more timez! her pour buckets of water on me! (but she not get my head wet, yea!)
then her dried me with towls, and finally I get free of that wet room! I not like that water room, I see thru the doors, my brudder and sizterz but I not able to get out!

when the door open I run out and give myself a "proper" bath, her not know how to give cats baths! thats not how we do itz!
oh, tose hoomanz!!
I didnt take long to forgive her though, and her keep telling me with everee bucket of water what good boy I am.. me IZ a good boy, I not even scratch mommee. I tink I better go hide, coz I tink momme going to try to brush me now.
bye!!