Lost a friend

[pomtzu]

If some folks will take the time to notice, I was half way joking with Sana and never said she didn't have a right to be here. Maybe some people need to lighten up a little, and learn to read between the lines.

As far as posting in Marigold's threads - as some others like to fall back on here when they go contrary to what they said previously - "I changed my mind". If it works for them, then it works for me!!!

[cassiesmom]

I agree with part of Pomtzu's post where she says this is Marigold2's friend's choice. There is a saying, people come into your life for a reason, or a season, or a lifetime. Marigold2, maybe your season with this person has to come to an end. You are much too special to spend your energy on this person

Here is my own recent example. My friend B. (see the "Dear You" thread) is someone I thought was a lifetime friend. Things have changed over the past several months. Our birthdays are one week apart. We have always exchanged gifts. I mailed her a card and got her a gift. I did not get a card (or an e-card or even a call), much less a gift in return. Her life priorities have shifted, but mine have not. This friend who I considered a lifetime friend, who I expected to be a part of my life for many years to come -- I now consider a season friend and our season has concluded. We now have a very superficial relationship, with contact via e-mail 1-2 times a week at most. It makes me very sad, but that was her choice and there is nothing I can do. ((((((HUGS FOR Marigold2))))))

[Karen]

Well, Marigold2, you may not have lost her forever, but even if you have, you can always remember her and the years of friendship you shared. It is part of you, and it is part of her, even if you never meet again.

[CatsMeow]

Belief in God is true but, God! Himself! Says that if you blindly follow me, you will not be among my favorites. You have to obey and listen to God, but following him the way you're telling about your friend is wrong, talk about God but it isn't necessary that they come in your every sentence. Its so sad that your friend is being taken away from you...

You're right. I'm a big-time God person, a Christian, but God isn't in my every sentence.

[lizbud]

Could be that this friend is not lost to you forever. Seems like right now
this church group is filling some need in her life that she doesn't find anywhere
else. People grow, people change, that's life. If you want to maintain a
friendship some where down the line, let her know that you care about her
and will be there if she ever wants to get back in touch. Wish her well, and
mean it, that's all you can do.

[Marigold2]

Thank you all for the kind words. This has been painful to me and to some of her other friends as well. We have been friends since we were 12, we are now all in our 50's.
We have been through weddings, births, death of our parents, grandchildren, car accidents, divorce oh my gosh you name it and the 5 of us have lived it, supported each other and laughed and cried together.
I am the one that is friends with all five and they all met through me.
She has pulled away from ALL of us.
She was always very religous, went to church all her life but now this church is different. This is more cult like.
This church thinks Oprah is a sinner and evil because she talks with gays and all manner of sinners people. Oprah is NOT to be watched. Oprah is going to hell.
How do you argue with that? You don't. It is so farfected so crazy so stupid I could not say anything. I am of course a horrible sinner since I watch this show and Desperate Housewives oh I am horrid horrid horrid evil sinner who will burn in hell.
How someone who knows me, who came to the hospital and sang and prayed with me while my mom was in a coma could feel this way now is so heartbreaking.
I love her like a sister, she is an only child and we were so close but this church is not a good thing. It is taking her away from all who love her and support her and have been her friends for over 30 years. We who have watched each other grow up, grow old, grow closer every year now we are no more.
Will I be there for her, always, so will the others even though their friendship to her stems through me, we all love her, want her to be happy.
I will just wait and hope that her kids will speak to her perhaps they can help her.
I think one of the problems is her daughter is seperated and might be getting a divorce from her husband, that of course makes daughter a sinner. I don't know what the church is saying about this, what kind of guilt or confusion this is causing my friend and how her relationship with daughter is. If she is spewing the hatred the church is then the relationship with her daughter can be in serious trouble too.
It's a scary thought what this church is doing to the family.

[caseysmom]

If you made any comments to her about her weight that are similar to the comments you have made to me I don't blame her one bit for staying as far away as she can get.

[wombat2u2004]

Lookout !!!! The cheerleaders have arrived.

[moosmom]

Marigold2,

It's very difficult to lose such a great friend to something so mind blowing. I'm sorry you've lost such a friend. The only way she's ever going to learn, is by hitting rock bottom. She's not there yet. And don't let her bring you down with her, okay? You're too nice a person.

I have one question...WHY do some people here always have to make this into a debate or argument?????? *Sigh*

[Bonny]

Marigold, Just sit tight. I bet your friend will come back eventually. She is out there searching & having a rough time now. Cults are scary & I hope your friend will figure it out.

[wombat2u2004]

Yep Monica, she'll eventually wake up and move away from that lot.
I agree with the last two posts, they make a lot of sense.

[wombat2u2004]

I have one question...WHY do some people here always have to make this into a debate or argument?????? *Sigh*

Because Donna, there is a certain CLIQUE here who think they know everything about everything, and as soon as someone like Monica posts something nice, they jump on her with their "cattyness".
I can't help at times to post something smart back at them....God knows they deserve it......and as intelligent as they think they are, they still haven't got the "If ya got nothing nice to say, then shaddup" ideal in their small brains.
I'll make like Monica, and put a few more onto ignore, that way I don't have to be confronted with their dribble every time I read a thread.

[moosmom]

Wom,

And that's why I have them on "ignore".

[kokopup]

I'm sorry that you have lost a friend to a church with radical teachings. Years ago my son got involved in a church that had a lot of Lunatic fringe teachings. This had a very negative impact on our relationship and put, my then a baby, granddaughter at risk. One of their teaching condoned VERY harsh control of your children. They would say unless you can see bruises you are not getting the devil out. I was very troubled so I turned to the Bible to find the reason not to be abusive. The Minister would use the Bible out of context to spread his perverted views. i was fortunate that I did get the help I needed from the Bible that turned him around.

In your friends case I don't know if this approach will work since it appears this church offers her the comfort she now needs. In my case there was a very fragile innocent life at stake. I could not wait for sanity to return because by then the damage would be done. Pray for your friend and maybe some day she will see the error in pushing her friends away.

[Marigold2]

Again thank you all for your support, it is a hard and confusing time. I think that her daughter will be the turning put here. I had no idea she was seperated from her husband until someone else met her at the grocery store and she mentioned it.
Since the church so frowns on this and now feels the daughter is a sinner and God knows what else this will make my friend have to rethink this whole thing.
She loves her daughter so much and I cannot believe she would allow the church to condemn her, I just can't.
So rigiht now she has to be in great pain and confusion with the church spewing this BS in one ear and her love for her daughter in another.
I am going to send her a card with just the words. "I love you."
on it. After 30 some years there is nothing she can't tell me and nothing I won't help her with, she has but to ask.
My friends here on PT I love you as well and my life is greatly enriched by your kindness and understanding, great sense of humor and a swift kick in the behind when I need it.
Wom you make me laugh so hard, you are a great joy in my life.