I know that you feel us thinking of you every day but today is especially hard for us all. We should be celebrating your first birthday today, spoiling you wrotten, watching you play in your first birthday cake, all dressed up like a little princess. Instead we will spend the day with a broken heart, a wondering heart, a heart that will never completely heal over your loss and swollen eyes that long to see your precious face just one more time. First thing this morning when I opened my eyes I saw your tiny little face in the incubator as they rushed you to the elevator. When I said your name you opened your eyes and looked at me even though the doctors say they don't think you could see. I "felt" you see me. I wish that you would have had that one moment with your mom...I wish it could have been her to have that eye to eye contact with you if for only so brief.
That day changed our lives forever. I view everything so differently and I honestly think that my heart broke. I know we go through life saying different things have "broken our hearts" and we feel that ache but since this day last year my heart has never felt the same, I have a hard time finding the joy that makes my heart skip a beat, the twing we get when something saddens us, it just doesn't seem to work right any more. I thought over time that would get better but it doesn't seemed to have changed. I can only imagine the pain your mom and dad will go through today. I hope that you will let them feel your love.
Remember that we will love you always, no matter how many years have gone by, 07/21 will always be a day of heartache for us all.
Love Always,
Aunt Traci
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Biggss Huggss from Texas
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