Getting through the Holidays

**lvpets2002** · 11-13-2008, 02:56 PM

Hey I so understand.. My Stepmother (very close too) passed away first & then my Dad (also close too) right near Memorial Holidays 8 1/2 yrs ago.. For the previous 10 years I had been cooking & having at my house the Thanksgiving & Christmas dinners & family.. I also following the next few holidays was in dismay & so heartbroken.. They was so very hard to deal with.. Now I will tell you what got me thru it all was I Started Doing Meals On Wheels thru Both Holidays for the County for the Elder People.. Thank you for this Thread.. God Bless You..

**cyber-sibes** · 11-13-2008, 02:58 PM

Great thread! I also have a lot of losses that have sometimes feel like bottomless pits through the holidays. Over the years I have found a few things that helped -

- getting involved a card exchange. It makes me so happy to see cards all around the doorways and across the mantle & furniture tops. Making my own cards is especially fun, when I've had the time. ( I will even put up last years cards & get to appreciate them all over again)

- I pick up a name or two from one of those "Giving Trees" in malls or at Walmart. I miss shopping for kids now that mine are grown & gone. It's fun to go pick out toys & clothes to brighten another child's christmas, even if I don't actually see their face. The fun is in the shopping!

- I go to a big Christmas event. (a concert or ballet, something I may not usually do.) Those are usually very grand & beautiful, it feels kind of magical to be surrounded by all that glitz. Last year I went to a concert in one of these gorgeous mansions here in Newport - what a treat!

- I send donations to rescues (in my case, siberian rescues), & drop off a check & a bag of treats at the local shelter. (these don't have to be big amount, they appreciate every little bit.) It just makes me feel happy to help.

-I bake batches of my mom's cookie & pastry recipes & mail them to my sons to enjoy thru the holidays.

- Make a big traditional dinner & have friends over who also don't have family nearby.

Well, those are a few of things that I do that have helped me move from that gray depression of the past into the present moment, & enjoy the things that are part of my life now.

I feel better already - Merry Christmas everyone!

**Medusa** · 11-13-2008, 03:13 PM

Atta girl, Karen! Out w/the old, in w/the new. Traditions, that is.

**RICHARD** · 11-13-2008, 03:39 PM

I have to tell this story because I miss my dad and he was good for a laugh - you had to wait for it, but it was well worth it and memorable.

I started to laugh like an idiot, all by myself while I was in the kitchen..

----------

I was using the blender and began to put together my dish when I looked at it and my dad's voice said to me, "Se mira como vasca de gato...."

Translated?

"That (the soup I had made) looks like cat throw up..."

If you served him something that looked funky, he would stop, look down and say that-right before he'd pick up his spoon and dig in.

As time goes by you'll see that the space in your heart doesn't hurt as badly-but you can fill it with remembering some of the things that you had with the people that you loved and missed.

Pity parties are quite alright, just keep the guest list small and make them short like Zippy does-I had to laugh at that- she has no time to 'party' because she is watching the clock, Now, if us men could get women to be on time when we have a date with them!

Hang tough!

**lvpets2002** · 11-13-2008, 03:43 PM

Originally Posted by RICHARD

I have to tell this story because I miss my dad and he was good for a laugh - you had to wait for it, but it was well worth it and memorable.

I started to laugh like an idiot, all by myself while I was in the kitchen..

----------

I was using the blender and began to put together my dish when I looked at it and my dad's voice said to me, "Se mira como vasca de gato...."

Translated?

"That (the soup I had made) looks like cat throw up..."

If you served him something that looked funky, he would stop, look down and say that-right before he'd pick up his spoon and dig in.

As time goes by you'll see that the space in your heart doesn't hurt as badly-but you can fill it with remembering some of the things that you had with the people that you loved and missed.

Pity parties are quite alright, just keep the guest list small and make them short like Zippy does-I had to laugh at that- she has no time to 'party' because she is watching the clock, Now, if us men could get women to be on time when we have a date with them!

Hang tough!

Richard I just Loved that story.. But Hey This Is Twice Today That You Have Picked on Us Women.. So here you go && you had it coming..

**RICHARD** · 11-14-2008, 12:26 PM

K9,

Two little things I saw last night on the tube that made me think of this thread.

I was speechless when I popped on the news last night when I saw there was a fire in Santa Barbara/Ventura County-seems like a wind driven fire burned down at least 80 homes in the area. The homes were in the upper crust areas of the city.

There was also the replay of the Paralympics from Beijing playing.

I could not help but feel badly about people losing their homes, Multimillion dollar homes for sure, but losing your house so close to the holiday?

Also, the Paralympics- I watched a few races and was stunned by their heart.
At the start of one swimiining race the competitors came out, in wheelchairs and on foot. There was an American kid that came out. He had no arms below the elbows.

Now I can swim, not well, but can keep from drowning. This kid comes out, sits down and starts to prepare. He bends over and PULLS HIS LEGS OFF!
Gee, I have problems walking sometimes.......

The kid then uses his 'arm's to drape an American Flag over the starting stand - I have problems just living in America, let alone swimming for her!

There was a swimmer from China who had no arms at all and some terrible scars across his abdomen. I have arms and no scars on my belly and I still have problems when I get a stupid splinter in my hands like I did yesterday!

----------

YOu aren't alone when you feel punk about the holidays. It usually takes me a few minutes and some little story or TV show to make me feel better about my situation.

**lvpets2002** · 11-14-2008, 12:31 PM

WoW Richard all so stunning.. I will have to agree with you 100% && so Admire your notifications..

Originally Posted by RICHARD

K9,

Two little things I saw last night on the tube that made me think of this thread.

I was speechless when I popped on the news last night when I saw there was a fire in Santa Barbara/Ventura County-seems like a wind driven fore burned sown at least 80 homes in the area. The homes were in the upper crust areas of the city.

There was also the replay of the Paralympics from Beijing playing.

I could not help but feel badly about people losing their homes, Multimillion dollar homes for sure, but losing your house so close to the holiday?

Also, the Paralympics- I watched a few races and was stunned by their heart.
At the start of one swimiining race the competitors came out, in wheelchairs of on foot. There was an American kid that out. He had no arms below the elbows.

Now I can swim, not well, but can keep from drowning. This kid comes out, sits down and starts to prepare. He bends over and PULLS HIS LEGS OFF!
Gee, I have problems walking sometimes.......

The kid then uses his 'arm's to drape an American Flag over the starting stand - I have problems just living in America, let alone swimming for her!

There was a swimmer from China who had no arms at all and some terrible scars across his abdomen. I have arms and no scars on my belly and I still have problems when I get a stupid splinter in my hands like I did yesterday!

----------

YOu aren't alone when you feel punk about the holidays. It usually takes me a few minutes and some little story or TV show to make me feel better about my situation.

**RICHARD** · 11-14-2008, 12:51 PM

Originally Posted by lvpets2002

WoW Richard all so stunning.. I will have to agree with you 100% && so Admire your notifications..

I have a problem with my sight. I am too proud to wear my glasses all the time.

So when I get mental diarrhea, I don't snag my 'eyes', I just push the cat off the keyboard and type.

Then I go back and see all the errors later on!

Life isn't fair!

**K9karen** · 11-14-2008, 11:13 PM

Yup..Thanks Richard...
After my self imposed solo Pity Party, I pulled myself up by my..well never mind...

..and knew pretty dam well I have it good and life goes on and is what you make it.

Unless someone pleads with us to join them for Christmas, we decided to do some kind of volunteer work to let others have the day off.

I'm gonna be fine. I slapped myself upside the head a few times and hung my head in shame.

**Catty1** · 11-14-2008, 11:29 PM

I slapped myself upside the head a few times and hung my head in shame.

Okay, and NOW hug yourself and don't be ashamed. You are human and there are posts by other hoomins here who go through the same thing.

My mom and I are it. Darcia had no kids, I didn't (and now parts are missing

). This branch of the family tree will be closed for good.

But dammit, for Christmas this year, we are NOT having just "turkey breast" - I am buying a whole darn free-range turkey, and will peel all the taters for Mom to do real mashed ones (not out of a box THIS year!), with for real gravy and carrots AND punkin pie!!!

L'chaim! TO LIFE!

**RICHARD** · 11-14-2008, 11:31 PM

Originally Posted by K9karen

I'm gonna be fine. I slapped myself upside the head a few times and hung my head in shame.

You have no reason to slap yourself about the head! Life has done that already. It's up to you to look up and not be afraid of what lies ahead.
You have to be strong and make it, because no one else will do it for you.

And please do me a favor?

Stay away from the "cat puke"?

And no need to be ashamed. When we hit our knees you can't go any farther down. It's time to look up, get up and move on.

LOL,
Don't it hurt to yank on those.....nevermind!

**Medusa** · 11-15-2008, 06:53 AM

I agree w/everyone. No need to hang your head in shame. As you can see, we've all been there. Instead, hold your head high in pride that you have it so good compared to so many. I'm proud of ya!