Anyone spare a hug?

**Pawsitive Thinking** · 10-26-2006, 04:31 AM

Go here for as many hugs as you want

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

**davidpizzica** · 10-26-2006, 05:32 AM

Kim, here's a lot of {{{{HUGS}}}}!! I know exactly what you're going through. I have a big brother who thinks he's my mother! He loves to come into the house and say "You haven't swept the floor today" or "the grass needs mowed" and other comments. Kim, if you can use someone to talk to in a brotherly way, all you have to do is PM me. I'll be there.

**catnapper** · 10-26-2006, 06:23 AM

Thanks so much guys!

{{{{{{Group Hug}}}}}}

The funny thing is that this was my younger brother! He's always been serious and I've always been the dreamer so he's always felt he knows better than I do. I told him that. I told him a lot of things last night and stood up for myself. I nearly hung up on him a few times, and if it wasn't for me wanting to offer a rebuttal I would have hung up. I do think we cleared the air a bit. Perhaps this will be the beginning of something new for us? Who knows.

I think me getting so upset was partly from me feeling so run down and sick (I am losing my voice now.... whoopie! I don't know how I'm going to train dogs tonight) I know what I'm in for with this bug because hubby's had it for two weeks - big brave macho man actually went to the doctor for it. I commented to my mom on Sunday how I'm surprised I wasn't sick when everyone else at home was. Great idea Kim, open your mouth and jinx yourself!

The other part was all the stress. I am just at the end of my rope, grasping on to save my sanity and he calls to lay one hefty guilt trip on me. Don't I have enough going on right now with health, finances, the baby, work?

After I bawled to him about everything thats going on (he complained I don't talk to him, so I sarcastically told him everything thats going on) he's actually coming up next Sunday (or so he promised) to help repair our bathroom. He swears we can have a new tub and subfloor for under $500. He'll do all the labor. Do you know how much that would make my day? Seriously, I can't even relax to take a shower for fear I'll be in the tub when it falls through the ceiling. The estimate my SIL's hubby gave was for $5,000. Little difference in cost, eh?

Well, I do feel better after a night's sleep with 5 kitties keeping me warm and Abby giving me a purr serenade.

**Sara luvs her Tinky** · 10-26-2006, 07:09 AM

Not sure if you still need them but {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I have about the same relationship with my dad... and it really stinks too. It keeps me from being able to get close to him...

That video made me smile.. and made me want a big hug!!

**mugsy** · 10-26-2006, 07:20 AM

((((((((((Kim))))))))))

Now, I am speaking from experience here, but, you are LETTING him get to you and manipulate you. You need to put yourself in the frame of mind that he is NOT going to make you feel guilty. Put it right back in his lap...when he tries to guilt you by saying you didn't ask about his kids, respond by asking him when he is going to come and see Cameron. Things like that. He seems to be preying on your sensitivity. I have worked really hard over the last few months getting myself to the point where I am beginning to say, I can do what I can do and that's it and if you aren't satisfied go somewhere else...without feeling guilty. It is REALLY hard and it won't happen overnight, but, if you start working on it then eventually he will stop because he knows it doesn't work. He only does it now because he knows that he can make you feel badly...like a bully. My sister does the same thing to me and I finally had enough and told her if she thinks she's going to guilt me into doing something, to think again. I am done being pushed around by you because I'm not going to let you do it anymore. She backed off...If you ever need to "talk" PM me and we can "chat." Good luck and don't let him get to you!

cyber hugs and I hope you feel better soon! Get yourself some menthol and rub it between your hands and cup your hands over your mouth and nose and breath deeply...it should help clear you up!

**borzoimom** · 10-26-2006, 08:17 AM

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>
Sometimes with siblings you can have a brief falling out. I did the same with my younger brother for a while. What I did was chat, but when you feel the conversation turning, say poliet something like " ohhh shoot- I have get the clothes in the dryer, take the dog out, start dinner, make breakfast for the dogs or yourself, or get firewood, answer the door- shut the doors.. " .. you get the point. Soon it will start to change, and polietly tells him you dont have time for such nonscense.

**ramanth** · 10-26-2006, 10:21 AM

You can pick your friends but you can't pick family.

*HUGS*

**cyber-sibes** · 10-26-2006, 10:46 AM

Originally Posted by ramanth

You can pick your friends but you can't pick family.

Amen to that! After living 500 miles away for 8 years, I moved back 3 1/2 years ago to within 70 miles of my brother. Every time I call and say I'm going to be in the neighborhood, "they have plans". I've invited them over, offered to meet up somewhere, and hinted that I would like to be invited over to their place. I've seen him.....once. I give up.
((((hugs)))) to you, and if he comes over to help you out, I hope it goes ok.

**borzoimom** · 10-26-2006, 10:50 AM

Amen to that sister. ...

**catnapper** · 10-26-2006, 10:55 AM

Originally Posted by cyber-sibes

Amen to that! After living 500 miles away for 8 years, I moved back 3 1/2 years ago to within 70 miles of my brother. Every time I call and say I'm going to be in the neighborhood, "they have plans". I've invited them over, offered to meet up somewhere, and hinted that I would like to be invited over to their place. I've seen him.....once. I give up.
((((hugs)))) to you, and if he comes over to help you out, I hope it goes ok.

We must be related!!! I've lived in this house nearly 6 years. My brother has been here exactly 3 times. Once for my son's 16th birthday party where he announced that they were expecting a baby, which of course stole Tony's thunder. Nobody even paid attention to my son on his birthday thanks to my clueless brother. I've been to his house a dozen or so times during that time, I even saw his new house a few weeks ago (though I probably wouldn't have done that if it wasn't for mom basically twisting my arm)

Mugsy, guilt and I are old friends. It doesn't take much to make me feel guilty. I have been telling him things like you said... when he mentioned me not asking about his sons the first thing out of my mouth was that Cam's 4 months old and he hasn't even met him. He tried to say he was never invited.... who needs an invitation to meet a new baby in the family? Besides, I DID invite him and his wife! Oy, I feel like we're still kids saying "nut-uh!" "yeah-huh!" pbbtttthhhh.

**mugsy** · 10-26-2006, 10:58 AM

I contend that you need to worry about you and your family and let him worry about his and if things work out, then it was in the cards, if not, then let it go. I have some other ideas too, but, it would take entirely too long to post and people would think I was fruit loop after waking up.

**catnapper** · 10-26-2006, 11:03 AM

hmmm... I like Fruit Loops! My husband recently began to ask me if I had any "normal" friends. Ummmm... good question dear, but what does that make you if everyone I am friends with are slightly off center?

**Cataholic** · 10-26-2006, 12:29 PM

Originally Posted by cyber-sibes

Amen to that! After living 500 miles away for 8 years, I moved back 3 1/2 years ago to within 70 miles of my brother. Every time I call and say I'm going to be in the neighborhood, "they have plans". I've invited them over, offered to meet up somewhere, and hinted that I would like to be invited over to their place. I've seen him.....once. I give up.
((((hugs)))) to you, and if he comes over to help you out, I hope it goes ok.

Next time you are in MY neighborhood, come on over!!!

Hugs to you, Kim. Now repeat, don't be a doormat, don't be a doormat, don't be a doormat.