This is serious - what can I do?

[lizbud]

Wow. It really sounds like that whole family needs serious help.

[catland]

Think of the "what-ifs" if nothing is done.

What will happen is that Denise will become a breeder. She'll have a child - raise it for awhile until its sufficently scarred for life, then CSD intervenes and takes it away, then she'll have another child, and another....

As for the suicide threat - your aunt sounds mentally ill. You did not cause this. You would never, ever be responsible if she carried her threat out. (gee - talk about the ultimate in manipulation - she's nothing more than a three year old with a temper tantrum who has discovered the ultimate bluff to get her way - sick-sick-sick. ) She sounds like one messed up person.

Stay sane and best of luck to you and Denise.

[VTJess03]

The problem is my aunt... if she would actually commit suicide, then I'd have her death on my conscious. ... and neither would be responsible for anything if my aunt commited suicide. Believe me, the threat of suicide is real.

(Sorry for the long response, all)

You can only be responsible for you. You can do something about Denise's situation, since she's a minor, but your aunt has to make her own decision. Please don't blame yourself for something that someone else decides or worry about that decision. Trust me, I have been struggling with a suicidal (soon-to-be-ex-)husband who has actually looked me square in the face and asked me to take a shotgun and kill him (and yes, he was serious...not just emotional, having a fight over-reaction type of stuff, like we both are/were prone to anyway). We are separated now, in part because of this...he has attempted to take his own life 5-6 times now, according to what little he will tell me, and he blames me for a lot of the relationship problems we've had (and yes, I'm partly to blame, but his recently diagnosed bi-polar and clinical depression have contributed also...2 sides to every story). If he chooses to end his life now, I refuse to bear that guilt on my conscience...he is an adult who has to make an adult decision whether to continue or end his own life and no one else can decide that for him.

You can help a minor whether they want help or not, but you can't help an adult unless they choose to accept that help. If you really think she's a danger to herself, have her committed (as someone else has suggested), but until she chooses to recognize her own mental instability, she will be untreatable. It took my almost-ex about 3-4 years to admit that he had bipolar, even though I'd been trying to get him to see someone about his behavioral/temper problems for almost that long.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Kim, I also agree that an intervention is needed. Please do something before you regret it.

[Dorothy39]

Whew!!!

That thread was a real eye opener into depression and dysfunction.

I would sincerely be very stressed if I realized that "I" had to make the right decision. Your Aunt is chronically detached (duh? Ya think Dorothy?)--and no longer a Mother at all. I feel so sad for everyone involved.


I think there have been enough replies that I can match here. It's a no win situation all the way around. Intervene---subsequent dyfunction--domestic dispute maybe--- or----not get involved-----drastic consequences as well.

I just feel so sad for this teen ager .

I assume you and your mother have already had a heart to heart talk about this. I'm so sorry that this "issue" has raised your eye brows.

Prayers and Huggs to You and Your Mother, Catnapper.

[twgilmour]

Well, I guess it's unanimous. What more do you need? If you can't find the phone book for the child services number, just call 9-1-1. You don't get a second chance at regret for not doing what you KNOW needs to be done.

God Bless you and your mother. You are doing the right thing for the RIGHT reasons.

Terry

[Catty1]

Nothing is being done. It will cause other family divisions to do so.

An anonymous stranger letter carrier or someone would have to phone in.

Tons of prayers for this situation!

[jenluckenbach]

Nothing is being done. It will cause other family divisions to do so.

Doesn't sound like a good enough reason to me.