What do you call your in-laws?

[ramanth]

When I first met Andy's parents I called them Mr. and Mrs. Miller. When we got engaged I addressed her as Mom Miller in an email and she was just tickled pink. I still called her Mrs. Miller in person. I've been wanting to call her Marilyn but I felt it would be more polite if she requested I call her by her first name. She never has, so I don't.

I haven't called her Mom Miller in person yet, but after the wedding I will.

[beeniesmom]

I call them by thier first names, always have.
For me, there is only ONE Mom and Dad.

[sirrahbed]

I never could bring myself to call my in-laws mom and dad, even though the other sibling in-laws did. We lived far away and only saw them every few years. They did not like to be called Mr. & Mrs.....so I mostly avoided actually calling them anything. I would put "mom & dad Harris" on gifts, etc.

I was also raised to address anyone older - as Mr. & Mrs. - and I still do, until they ask me to use their first names, which most folks will do. Then, I think first names are ok. I had to chuckle at the use of "Miss Sara and Miss Johanna" as that is how we often addressed adults as children.

In-laws - I think I would use Mr. & Mrs. until they asked otherwise. Then, possibly use mom and dad when and if the feeling leads

Sara - I am also annoyed when doctors call me by my first name - it puts me into an inferior child role which is NOT something I want with a doctor - unless perhaps if I get to know him and he/she has earned that relationship.

First names do imply and promote intimacy and that has to happen after some time I think.

[Rie Rie]

I call my in-laws Mom and Pops and they seem to be fine with it, of course I've been around them for almost 22 years now. I started out calling them Mr. & Mrs., got more comfortable with them enough and they don't seem to mind it since I am the favorite daughter in law anyway. LOL (it's true)
As far as Dr's offices go, they call me by my first name most of the time because they are afraid of butchering my last name, which isn't that difficult to say, it's pronounced just like it's spelled.

[popcornbird]

Mrs. Sara and Ms. Johanna...you are too funny!

There's a small difference in what to call elders in my culture though. As a child, I was taught to call my mom's friends 'Auntie' and my dad's friends 'Uncle'. I guess these words are used because it just makes the relationship feel closer. I always called my teachers 'Mrs. (last name).' For me, being an adult doesn't give the priveledge to call people by their names...because as a child, I called people close to my age, or even 10 years older by their names. Its the same now. Its more a 'big age difference thing'. People in my age group, or people who are my friends, even if they are older, are called by their names...but my mom's close friends who are in their 40s/50s, and have known me since I was a baby are still 'aunties' to me, and will always be. If I were to meet a new person in their 40s/50s, I'd probably call them by their names, but in a close long-term family friend relationship, the 'respect word' is still there. I couldn't ever bring myself to call a 70 or 80 year old grandma by her name. That is just not very respectful, in my eyes. Until now, I have been fine with children calling me by my name, but once I become a mother, I know I would dislike the children of my friends, or the friends of my children calling me by my name. I wouldn't like being called Mrs. either. He he he.

My husband is like you, Karen. He has grown SO close to my parents over the past few months, but he still can't bring himself to call them anything. He greets them lovingly, sits and chats with them, but somehow, manages to avoid addressing them with a 'name'. My mom sometimes lovingly calls him "My son", and at that time, he responds by calling her 'his mom', but generally speaking, he has not yet started to call them anything. He gave them a gift and card a few months ago, and in the card, wrote, "To my dear mother-in-law and father-in-law". I guess this relationship is just hard to figure out! LOL!

To me, my MOM is the one who gave birth to me, and raised me. No one else. My DAD is the one who is my father, raised me, the one that I grew up with. No one else. Of course I do feel I should have a close relationship with my in-laws. They are the parents of the person I love the most in this world, so they should be close. Like my husband, I find myself confused on what to call them. I want an informal, yet respectful relationship with them. Mr. and Mrs. sounds too formal to me. Mom and Dad seems too strange to me. Aunt and Uncle doesn't fit into this relationship. They are my husband's parents...not my parents' friends. I'm just SO confused. I asked my husband what I should call them, and he laughed and told me that perhaps when he finally comes up with something to call MY parents, he could tell me. I wonder if I will end up like Karen...greeting them without calling them anything. Then...I wonder how we will ever develop a bond. He he he. Calling a relative something makes the relationship feel so much closer. I could ask them after developing a bit of a bond, but right now, I haven't even met them in person yet, so I don't know how to ask them. I guess we'll wait and see. My sister-in-law (husband's brother's wife) calls them 'Mom and Dad', but for me, calling someone ELSE Mom or Dad just doesn't feel right. Maybe things will change later on as we grow closer, but they are new to me right now, so it will take awhile to feel comfortable enough to call them something THAT close.

[Cataholic]

I know! I know! How about Milly and Dilly or Filly? Get it? Mother in law, father or dad in law?




Call me whatever you'd like! Just don't call me late for dinner!

Now, that is a Richard comment if there EVER was one, eh?

[caseysmom]

Maybe its a California thing but I don't know one single kid, and trust me I am around a lot of kids, anyway I don't know one kid that calls anyone mr or mrs so and so, unless of course it is a teacher, that is for sure mr or mrs/ms.

I think I would start out with the mr or mrs with the in laws and as the relationship progresses decide between all of you what feels best. Of course it may be something we can't type here