Desperate Help Needed - Noah

[zippy-kat]

Best of luck to you, Kelly!!

[Karen]

I have an idea! How about your brother arranges to take your parents out for the afternoon on that Saturday ... takes them to dinner or something. That would give you time to move out safely, and you can signal him on his cell when it's all clear, without them knowing he was involved.

[gini]

Dear Kelly, I wish you the best of luck and happiness with your move.

You are getting some good advice here - I would add that maybe you tell your parents how grateful you are for all that they have done for you. It sounds phony - but truly they have given you a place to live - well, maybe not "live" but at least reside. I am just following up on the "positive" suggestions that Sasvermont has given you.

I would at all costs try to avoid any confrontation with your parents. You don't need the stress - it isn't good for your health. Keep your mind on how happy you are going to be in your new home and WITH YOUR CATS!

Also - will you be able to immediately transfer your mail to the new address?
I wouldn't want to see that insurance check go astray!!! You are counting on it.

When you get settled in - take a deep breath - and know that life will now be much better and happier for you.

I will put a check in the mail this week for Balcom for Noah's care. How I remember that little boy when he was at my home. He thought he was in charge until I had a little talk with him - and he looked at me like WHOA
and then backed off. He's orange - and comes with attitude

[slick]

Kelly:
Moving sucks any time but in your instance I can only imagine how stressful it will be, but as Mz Gini says, keep reminding yourself of the good times ahead and how nice it will be to once again have a kitty purr you to sleep. It's so nice that Kirsten love kitties and it sounds like everything will work out OK.

I would love to donate but unfortunately I've nothing to spare at the moment. Please forgive me. But I am praying hard for you sweetheart. After all you've been through, you deserve all the good things that life has to offer.

Big {{{hugs}}} from me
xoxoxo

[Emeraldgreen]

Hi Kelly, only 18 more sleeps until the big day! It will be an exhausting day but I'm sure but it will all be worth it. I like Karen's idea about having your brother keep your parents occupied. But if you need him to help move the heavy stuff, maybe your grandma could get involved with occupying them by inviting your parents over for lunch that day or something and then you and your brother could quickly move out your stuff.
If you pre-write a letter to your parents over the next few weeks and put in it all that you want to say, you can leave it at their house so they have some sort of explanation when they get home. And then you could get in touch with them by phone later that night and talk about it some more. It might give them a chance to absorb it a bit at a time.
If you're not 100% sure that your brother will not able to keep the move a secret, maybe you could ask him to do 'something' (lunch, the movies or some kind of favor) with you on February 2nd to make sure that he reserves that day for you and then when he comes over, you can let him know what you really have planned.
I'm sure you'll fine tune all your ideas over the next few weeks as 'the first day of the rest of your life' draws nearer! Hang in there and try to stay postivie.

[Catty1]

Kelly - would your grandma find 'something for your parents to do' on moving day? Something to get them out of the house?

I hope your brother can handle himself if they find out he helped! OH WAIT - he lives far away!

HUGS to you girl!

[shais_mom]

Kelly - would your grandma find 'something for your parents to do' on moving day? Something to get them out of the house?

Actually if I remember correctly, the grandma that she is referring to is her PATERNAL grandma so I doubt if her mom has much to do with her. Honestly, I'm surprised she allows Kelly the freedom to see her! The "parent's" that Kelly refers to is actually her mom and STEP DAD - they have been married for about 8 years.

I hope your brother can handle himself if they find out he helped! OH WAIT - he lives far away!

HUGS to you girl!

Actually - I don't think he does. But I think he could handle himself pretty well. I've not met him but I have a hunch!

[krazyaboutkatz]

Kelly, I'm glad to hear that Kirstin is helping you with your credit and deposit. I hope that everything goes smoothly with your move. You've already been given a lot of great advice so there's nothing more that I can add. I know that once you're in your own place with your furkids that your health will get much better and you'll feel so much more relaxed. Please take care and continue to keep us updated.

[Pawsitive Thinking]

Not long now Kelly!!!

Next time Mommy Dearest starts you just repeat to yourself "PT loves me" over and over again. She may not appreciate you, but we do!

[Cataholic]

I didn't go back and re-read what you said about your parents having control over your finances...but, how are you addressing that issue? Will they hold or keep your money from you once they realize you are moving out? Is it more that you are expected to turn it over to them, rather than them having control over it? I wasn't clear on that, but, you need your money, and if they have it...well....

Taking everything you say as true, I would probably arrange for a police officer at the time of the move. While it might be your mom/stepdad, the way you have described some of their actions is a little off, and you want to make sure this happens exactly as planned.

[Cinder & Smoke]

Johanna brings up an interesting point with "your parents having control over your finances" ...

Do your parents hold a Power of Attorney that names them as your overseer or
gives them financial control over your accounts?

Do you voluntarily put your paychecks, alimony, and other income into a
"joint account" that your Mother has access to?

I'd take steps to nullify any of these agreements if they exist.

/s/ Phred

[moosmom]

Kelly,

You've got my reference if you need it. I am so very happy you're finally going to have a life of your own. I also believe it'll help you healthy wise. I know mine have helped me.

Let me know if you need anything.

((((((HUGS)))))

Donna and kits

[Taz_Zoee]

While it's great that you are getting out of the "difficult" situation with living in your parents house, I'm just sorry you do not have the support from your mother that you should have. I hope someday you will get that from her. I do not know what I would do without my mom, even though I do not talk to her everyday.
Do you think that not living there your relationship with her will be any different? For your sake, I hope so. Yeah, they will be upset and angry about you moving, but they will just have to get over it. You are an adult and can (and will) make your own decisions. Hopefully someday they will realize that.
I am so happy for you that you will soon be reunited with your furkids.

[Russian Blue]

Wow, what a difficult situation! I haven't had much time for the forums (and rarely come down to General)so forgive me for only seeing this now!

I think Karen's idea is a good one. Get the parents out while you move - way easier! And if things are that heated, Johanna's suggestion of a cop wouldn't be bad either. At least it would keep it civil while they are there.

I'd also leave a letter explaining everything...exactly as how you see it. A letter is often better, since you have time to word it correctly, instead of in the heat of a face to face discussion.

We went through something a tad similar.....Rob's mother. She accused him of everything and anything. She told him to pick sides (parents are divorced) and said Rob was doing things behind her back (which he wasn't). As you can imagine, Christmas was wonderful.

Rob decided 4 years into our relationship that it wasn't worth maintaining a relationship with his mother because of all the threats and bitterness. We haven't had any contact with her in 8 years and it is so much better. Sometimes it's better to choose who you have in your life, rather than just accepting a negative relationship that hurts your own health/well being.

I wish you the best Kelly - for your health and a new beginning.

[Craftlady]

IF they hold power of attorney, you need the following ...
Revocation of Power of Attorney - allows you to revoke a power of attorney document. Go to your lawyer and get that taken care of before you move.