Barney is an Angel Now.

[Purr-tender]

NOTwhat any of us wanted to hear!! Let's not count him out yet! Hopefully there is something that will give him some extra quality time with us. I do pray that Scott will come around and allow Barney to live in the house with you. He is safe and warm in the shed but it is just not the same. I kniow you are heartsick and so are we. You are not in this by yourself, Lara.

Huge hugs and prayers,
Mary

[jennielynn1970]

Oh Lara, I'm so sorry. Did the vet say where the cancer is located, or is that what is in his ear?

Poor Barn-Barn. He'll be loved though, and that's what is important.

Hugs to you both!

[Scooter's Mom]

Lara

I am so sorry for you and for all of us who love this little guy, but he is so blessed to have you in his life loving him. No matter what your husbands decide, Barney has more now than he has ever had because of you.

My prayers, along with everyone else's are with you.

I could not have said this any better myself.

[krazyaboutkatz]

Lara, I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you'll be able to make him as comfortable as possible with the time that he has left with you. Hopefully your husband will allow you to let him inside. Barney remains in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care. (((HUGS)))

[Emeraldgreen]

Thank you guys so much for all your posts! I've been wanting to post since yesterday but I worked from 9-5 and then got home to a dark house. Half the island lost power yesterday afternoon and for most of the evening due to a huge windstorm we had. Poor Barney was in the dark except for a nightlight that we have that is also battery operated so it can still stay on. Then we finally got the power back on and I could not connect to the internet. As it turned out, our local internet provider had lost power and so no one here could get online last night (unless they were with Telus, a bigger provider). I had to work all day again and just now got home.
I really appreciate what everyone has said and all of the PM's.

I was so down yesterday and kept wellling up with tears but I'm slowly absorbing the news. I think you guys are right, I have to look at it that he has had love and warmth and endless food and care since he was taken in and who knows if he ever had that. I wish I could know, maybe I will get a reading done for him. It sure would be amazing to know what he thinks and how he has lived.

I called the clinic back yesterday and asked the receptionist to ask Robin if she thought that it would be safe to bring Barney into the house, now that we know he has cancer and that it is likely the cause of the high white blood cell count instead of from FIP. I also asked about stopping the insulin.
The receptionist called back and she told me that Robin was 90% sure Barney didn't have FIP but she felt that he should not be brought into the house because my other cats could catch it if he does have it and it is fatal.
I'm disappointed but at the same time, my cats mean so much to me and I have to protect them. I would be devastated if I caused them all to become sick.

I will do all that I can to improve his day to day life though and will spend more time with him. Hopefully we will get some decent weather here soon so I can take him outside for a bit in the outdoor enclosure. I think he would enjoy that.
I also have a small tv that I will put in there but I'm going to pick up a used vcr to hook up to it because the tv can't get reception out there. I will play some videos that would be interesting for a cat, something with animals, birds and nature. I know that sounds silly but I want to make it kind of like a house in there for him and though he won't be able to hear it, maybe just having it going in the background will be comforting.

Robin also said that she felt it was important for me to keep going with the insulin. She said that if I stop after I've started, he will feel worse than before. And, this morning went pretty well so I think it will be okay. When I got home, I went into the shop and there he was hopping out of the litterbox and he hopped up onto the dog bed to see me. His blue collar was NOT on him! lol It was just laying there on the floor. I guess he found a way to get out of it. But it was neat to see him with a new kind of energy and I guess that must be from his glucose levels being more balanced.

When I first spoke with Robin yesterday, she said that she thought putting him on steroids might help make him more comfortable with regard to the ear tumor. I think that is another reason she wants him on the insulin because she thinks the steroids are going to throw his diabetes out of whack and the insulin might help with that a bit.
She also wants to put him back on another round of antibiotics so I'll pick those up on Monday.

The sample that was tested for cancer came from what Robin had first thought was an enlarged thyroid but as it turns out, it is a tumor. She thinks it may have spread to his salivary gland/s and that it is in his left ear and possibly his right and is likely responsible for the 'barnacles' on his nose. She said that the tests came back as a 'malignant epithileal (sp??) tumor' and that it could be Squamous Cell Carcinoma. It's so bizarre, before a year ago, I've never encountered this disease but not I'm way too familiar with it. But, perhaps it's a good thing that I've learned a bit about it and can hopefully try and help Barney. I don't expect that his cancer will be cured but I do think I can give him back some quality of life before his time comes with treatment with Transfer Factor that I already have here on hand, left over from Tiger. As you said Candace, why not try it?

I have a nagging feeling that steroids are not the way to go and I think I'd rather give him Metacam for pain and inflammation, antibiotics to help fight infection in his ears and on his nose and Transfer Factor to help boost his immune system and insulin to keep his glucose down. It would be such a gift if I could get him to gain some more weight and feel some more energy and get to 'enjoy' a bit of life. I think it will happen. Instead of wishing for lots of time, we'll just live in the moment.

Thank you all again for your wonderful posts. I love that Barney means something to others just as he does to me. I wish he could know how many people love him.

[Moesha]

I am so glad to read a more detailed post from you. You answered many questions for us! Thanks for that. Once you determine what kind of treatment Barney is going to have, can you let us know the estimate for his medicines and things like that? I'd be willing to contribute toward his care regularly now that we know what the little guy has to cope with. Go with your gut about the medical treatment you think is best for the little guy, and we'll be here to support you. You may be physically alone dealing with Barney, but he has a whole team of caregivers and support staff all over the world! How many other kitties can claim that?!? *hugs for sweet Barney*

[Purr-tender]

I have been so worried not hearing from you. Who would have thought your power would have been out.

It's a shame that Barney won't be coming in with you but I wouldn't take a chance either. I think that you have a great plan for him and I know that you are keeping him comfortable. He has been on my mind constantly since you gave us the very sad news. I still want to help you with his medical treatment. Let us know how much you think you'll need. Hopefully with your TLC and his meds he'll still have better days ahead. We'll just take it a day at a time.

Even though he can't hear I think the VCR will entertain him. My "kids" love to watch TV. It would be nice if we could all take turns sitting out there with him. I'm glad you're going to spend more time with him. Do you have any friends that would enjoy spending time with a sick friend? They could be our surrogate laps.

I've doubled up on prayers for Barney!!

Gentle hugs to Barney and a Big ole Bear hug for you!
Mary

[Catty1]

HUGS!

Prayers that Barney might be - just might be - a Christmas miracle.

[Emeraldgreen]

I am so glad to read a more detailed post from you. You answered many questions for us! Thanks for that. Once you determine what kind of treatment Barney is going to have, can you let us know the estimate for his medicines and things like that? I'd be willing to contribute toward his care regularly now that we know what the little guy has to cope with. Go with your gut about the medical treatment you think is best for the little guy, and we'll be here to support you. You may be physically alone dealing with Barney, but he has a whole team of caregivers and support staff all over the world! How many other kitties can claim that?!? *hugs for sweet Barney*

Purr_Tender wrote:

It's a shame that Barney won't be coming in with you but I wouldn't take a chance either. I think that you have a great plan for him and I know that you are keeping him comfortable. He has been on my mind constantly since you gave us the very sad news. I still want to help you with his medical treatment. Let us know how much you think you'll need. Hopefully with your TLC and his meds he'll still have better days ahead. We'll just take it a day at a time.

Thank you so much. You all have been such a great help already and it's true, you're a team of caregivers. Barney is blessed.
Part of me feels badly for everyone who has helped that his recovery may not be possible in the way that we had hoped but at the same time, now that we know that there will be no surgery, I can focus on keeping him as healthy as I can and fed and warm. This route will hopefully still give him more time with us and it will be very affordable. He will be on insulin and I got one vial and a bag of syringes for about 20.00. He gets 2 units a day which is not much. I'm not sure how many units come in that vial but will check it out. He is no longer on Tapazole because Robin feels that he doesn't need it so that will be good. The antibiotics will probably be one more round, unless her plan is to keep him on them indefinitely. I have to ask her about that. I'm going to ask a friend of mine who has a HUGE bottle of Meloxicam for her dog if I could have some for Barney. It is the human equivalent to Metacam and alot of vets will give a prescription for a pet for Meloxicam if you ask for it. They usually don't offer it because they want you to buy the Metacam from them. She offered some previously to me for Paddy but I declined because I decided I didn't want to continue with it for him. I have a bottle's worth of Transfer Factor mixed up in a thick suspension and a half bottle of capsule of TF left. I stopped into the pharmacy a week or so ago to ask if it would still be good to use when I offered it for Sydney and Hamish and the pharmacist said it should be fine so that is good news.
I think the only upcoming things will be a repeat exam and glucose testing (not a full blood panel, just glucose which I think is under 25.00) and, when it's time, euthanasia. I hate writing that but at some point, I suppose it will happen.
Anyway, my point is that you guys have helped so much and I'm so thankful. He would have not gotten this far without you all. For now, I think he's been so well cared for by everybody that he should be okay. When I saw Katie's Andy pic with the thank you sign, I thought, what a great idea! I should do something like that with Barney but then I had a vision of him slashing and biting me while I forced him to sit with the sign! LOL He tries to bite me at least once a day. I guess that is a good sign that he's feeling up to it.

I've been thinking about it and my guess is that he was someone's barn cat. I was writing to Randi in a PM that he is friendly enough to have had human contact but wild enough to have been an outdoor, barn guy. And I'm wondering if he may have lived on that farm all his life (which is just a block and a half away from me). My coworker has rented that little cottage for 2 years now and it's on a 10 acre property with another main house and a barn. She has seen him for about a year but I wonder if he lived with the people in the house or was at least sometimes fed by them over the past decade or so. Maybe when he got so sick and matted up, they just stopped giving him anything which may be when he started hanging outside Terri's cottage. The woman who owns the main house works at the post office (I think). I might ask her the next time I see her.

My coworkers (ex)partner came in today and asked about Barney. So, I think I might be wrong about thinking he could have harmed Barney by kicking him. I shouldn't have written that. Angela told me that the dog who lives on the property chases Jack and used to chase Barney so maybe he took a tumble then.
Does anyone know how long it takes ribs to heal?

[Medusa]

I'm just waking up to these posts and I feel so proud to know so many wonderful people. Barney is very lucky at least in the respect to have so many people who care about him. Life has dealt him a lousy hand but there are those warm hands of love that you pet and care for him with every day, Lara.

I, too, will definitely contribute regularly to Barney's care, no matter how much time he has left. As Moesha says, go w/your gut as far as how to care for him. If you feel that stopping the steroid is the way to go, then follow your instincts. Just one word about that, though, aside from helping w/inflammation, I'm sure you already know that steroids will cause weight gain and I know that you want Barney to gain some weight. I'm not trying to talk you into anything, just a little reminder, in case you'd forgotten that.

The VCR is a wonderful idea. Barn-Barn needs some visual stimulation, too, and now that we know he won't be able to come indoors, it's more important than ever. I wouldn't take the risk either w/my cats either, Lara. I had that situation arise w/Buddy and FeLv; it was too risky to chance it and it broke my heart because I knew that if Buddy had to choose between food and love, he would've chosen love.

Sometimes barn cats are well cared for but they also can live lives of neglect, as was the case w/my Pigeon. When I rescued her, my neighbor told me how her owner kicked her w/his heavy work boots if she got in the way. It still hurts my heart to think that someone could be so cruel to such a sweet cat and Barney is such a sweet boy that it's hard to imagine anyone mistreating him but, obviously, it happens. Abuse or neglect, it's still cruel. If he had been a barn cat, then how appropriate that you named him Barney.

Ok, I'm rambling but I somehow feel that if I keep typing, it brings Barney through the monitor and on to my lap. I want so badly to be able to relieve you, Lara, and since I can't, please know that my prayers never cease for all of you. A check will go out tomorrow morning for our dear Barn-Barn. Special (((HUGS))) to you and Scott and gentle pets for Barney.

[kb2yjx]

Just a quick note. Squamous and epitheal(sp)are 2 different kinds of cells. Is FIP the same as distemper? I ALWAYS get them mixed up!!! If he has distemper, his WBC's are very LOW. I may just have to do a google to find an answer!!! Prayers continue.....HUGS!!!!!!!!

[kb2yjx]

OK, distemper is Panleukopenia(thus the low WBC's). Since I had to look it up, I SHOULD remember!!!! Sorry for being such a goof!!!!

[Taz_Zoee]

I am very sorry to hear about Barney's latest diagnosis. While this is such sad news, please keep in mind you've given Barney so much more than he EVER would have received if left out to fend for himself.

I laughed when I read he took his collar off. Taz has done that twice now. Since he's getting his staples out tomorow, I've done away with the collar. And he doesn't seem to even mess with his belly anymore.
And I know what you mean that he loves it when you take it off.

I know you will do what is best for Barney. You will help him feel as comfortable as possible and hopefully he will stick around for all this love for many more months.

[momtomany]

Lara

It goes without saying that I too will help to contribute to whatever Barney needs to live our his days comfortably. Afterall he has a huge family that wants to help take care of him. Trust your gut on what you think is right for him, it is like a mother's intution and you are his momma. Know that prayers are being said daily for you both.

[Emeraldgreen]

Just a quick note. Squamous and epitheal(sp)are 2 different kinds of cells. Is FIP the same as distemper? I ALWAYS get them mixed up!!! If he has distemper, his WBC's are very LOW. I may just have to do a google to find an answer!!! Prayers continue.....HUGS!!!!!!!!

The fine needle aspiration that Robin did on the lump that she originally thought was his thyroid (and I'm still unclear as to whether it is his thyroid that has the tumor or is a tumor that she thought was his enlarged thyroid)drew out some fluid (or tissue, not sure) and that was sent off to the lab. Those results came back as malignant epithelial tumor. Robin is guessing that the ear tumor(s) and nose scabbies are S.C.C. and I'm not sure if she is saying that they ephithelial tumor is too. Have to ask her about that. She hasn't diagnosed him with S.C.C. but feels pretty sure that is what it is given the scabby nose and ear and this is a cancer that cats outdoors often encounter with too much sunshine.
The only way to be sure is to biopsy his ear tumor or part of his nose and there is no point to put him through that or spend the money. I will treat him with the Transfer Factor and it will help boost his immune system which will help fight any kind of cancer, though it may not beat it.

I did some googling and found a few links with some info this morning:

Pathology
Squamous cell carcinoma is a malignant epithelial tumor which originates in epidermis, squamous mucosa or areas of squamous metaplasia.
Macroscopically, the tumor is often elevated, fungating, or may be ulcerated with irregular borders. Microscopically, tumor cells destroy the basement membrane and form sheets or compact masses which invade the subjacent connective tissue (dermis). In well differentiated carcinomas, tumor cells are pleomorphic/atypical, but resembling normal keratinocytes from prickle layer (large, polygonal, with abundant eosinophilic (pink) cytoplasm and central nucleus). Their disposal tends to be similar to that of normal epidermis: immature/basal cells at the periphery, becoming more mature to the centre of the tumor masses. Tumor cells transform into keratinized squamous cells and form round nodules with concentric, laminated layers, called "cell nests" or "epithelial/keratinous pearls". The surrounding stroma is reduced and contains inflammatory infiltrate (lymphocytes). Poorly differentiated squamous carcinomas contain more pleomorphic cells and no keratinization.[3] ... This page is a candidate to be copied to Wiktionary. ... Eosinophilic is a technical term used by histologists. ... Epidermis is the outermost layer of the skin. ... Epidermis is the outermost layer of the skin. ...

The above quote comes from this site.

IF Barney has FIP (Feline infectious peritonitis) then he would have the dry form which is the chronic type. In the wet version, cats have fluid build up which the vet said Barney does not have. One of the symptoms is going off food, which he certainly does not suffer from but another symptom is discoloration of the eyes with brown splotches, which he does have but that could be due to his age. The vet had a good look at his teeth this last visit and said she thinks he's an old man. She can't know for sure but he looks 14 but because he's been outdoors he could be younger by a bit but looks older. I don't know a lot about FIP but do want to become more familiar with it because I'm wondering if I could at least bring Barney in to our livingroom and sit on a chair in front of the fireplace. I would leave him wrapped up in a blanket and just sit with him but I will ask the vet about that. I would make sure no cats are downstairs if I did that.
From what I understand, FIP is the result of a reaction to the Corona virus. Most cats can process the virus and shed it but the cats who don't get FIP. I think that is how it works. I'm still learning about it.

He is doing so well today and is very bright eyed and is much more alert since we have begun the insulin. This morning's shot was quick and hassle free which we were both grateful for! lol
I decided to leave his cone off and will only use it when I see him really scratching and as an aid when I give him his injection and drops. It really helps because when he swings around to bite me, he can't find me with the cone on.

I'm going to give him his first dose of Transfer Factor in about an hour. I think he will not even notice it mixed up in his food so it's going to be so much easier to give him than it was with Tiger. It will be interesting to see if he improves with the T.F.

Thank you all for your offers of continued support for Barney. It is so kind of you and my hope is that he won't cost that much. He is very blessed to have such a big family. When I hold him later today, I will give him a hug from you guys.

Here is a video of him taken this morning. He was such a happy guy, purring away and doing paddies with his paws on his blanket. It is ironic that he is doing the best I've ever seen him when the news received the other day was the worst. Don't tell him that though, he thinks he's fit as a fiddle.

Grrrr. Photobucket is not working. I've been trying to load one short movie and it stops at 50% and just won't finish for the last hour. When I try to use the 'fast uploader' it lets me select a movie to upload but then there is no 'upload' button to click on the way there used to be. Anyone else having these problems?
Okay, it looks like it's finally uploading, slowly but it's going!

Nope, stuck at 18% now.

Will post it as soon as it's working.