Why make the choice to not have children?

[leslie flenner]

Vaguely familiar. Yes! I don't know how many times we have talked about some people that would benefit and likely welcome a nueter! There should be a spay/nueter wagon available for people who are beyond their means with what they are careing for. I am really proud of a client of mine who, during the birth of her second child, had her tubes tied. She is on disability and always will be (I work with MH)- she had to have her life long cat put to sleep to get a 2-bedroom apt for this 2nd baby. I did not encourage or discourage her with her decisions- just steered her towards the local shelters and gave her as much emotional support as appropriate. Her kids are ok, I encourage counseling for the 2 year old all the time but she feels it's not necessary... Things could be worse in that household! She tries really hard to be a good mom and that's what counts in my book- she's not mean- maybe too lenient but always learning and willing to learn more.

[CountryWolf07]

Hmm I'm 19 - but I want to have kids.. one or two would be enough..

I don't want to have kids til' I'm in my mid 20's, just right before I turn 30.

[leslie flenner]

Sounds like you're planning and that's great! Thinking ahead never hurt! Good luck! Babies are sweet!

[NoahsMommy]

Some people weren't put on this earth to procreate...its just that simple. Its a personal decision, just like YLL stated. You are wise beyond your years, my dear.

David and I have come to realize children most likely aren't in our future. If they are, they will be foster children or adopted children. There are many, many children without love and without homes, I'd rather be there for them than adding to the problem.

The same people that are "for" having children are quite often against adoption and that makes me mad. I could say that wanting to have your own child, when there are so many in need, is selfish. I can't even tell you how many people cringe when I say we're adopting if we have children.

It is a personal choice and no one should be criticized for it. The only time I have a problem with people having children is when they are unable to provide for them, be it financially or emotionally.

I have an 8 month old niece who I love dearly. She's a little angel and is fun to be around, but only for a short while. Having her in our lives is great, but reinerated our decision regarding children.

[dukedogsmom]

Noahsmommy, I think that is so great! I know there are so many unwanted kids out there. One of my friends from work had to have an emergency hysterectomy. She wanted kids so bad. I'm angry at her husband because he won't even consider adoption. He didn't want any unless they were his own. His arguement was that he didn't know how they were going to turn out. Well, he's got two in high school and they aren't the apple of his eye, let's say. I'm just really angry at him for being so selfish. It breaks my friend's heart not to have children. This is her first marriage and his second.

[ILoveReptiles]

*Proud that I earned that award...*

Or in your client's case, leslie, she would win the "silver snip" award for reproductive responsibility.

I applaud anyone that looks at procreation responsibly. There are far too many people who just do it because "it's what you do" without thinking it through.

More people should adopt, I think.

[slick]

A funny thing happened at work yesterday.

This girl, I'll call her Jane Doe, just became a Grandma for the 2nd time. She had this whole album of pictures of the baby being born, etc etc etc and she literally went from desk to desk showing everyone.

She burst into my office and proceeded to assume that I wanted to see these pictures. I caved, and went goo-goo-ga-ga and said all the right things, all the while trying not to throw up at the sight of a newborn baby fresh out of the oven and not cleaned up yet...Yuck!!

The last picture was of the family dog. I went nuts over this little cutie-pie and at the end of the conversation she made a comment that I liked the dog better than the kid. (which was true, by the way). She went off in a bit of a huff.....

One more black mark on my performance appraisal.....

[ILoveReptiles]

Originally posted by slick
A funny thing happened at work yesterday.

This girl, I'll call her Jane Doe, just became a Grandma for the 2nd time. She had this whole album of pictures of the baby being born, etc etc etc and she literally went from desk to desk showing everyone.

She burst into my office and proceeded to assume that I wanted to see these pictures. I caved, and went goo-goo-ga-ga and said all the right things, all the while trying not to throw up at the sight of a newborn baby fresh out of the oven and not cleaned up yet...Yuck!!

The last picture was of the family dog. I went nuts over this little cutie-pie and at the end of the conversation she made a comment that I liked the dog better than the kid. (which was true, by the way). She went off in a bit of a huff.....

One more black mark my performance appraisal.....

That's funny! I just lost my job last week due to "restructuring" and I had to tolerate two co-workers who were completely obsessed with their offspring. It drove me up the wall - day in day out that's all they talked about. I got rather snappy near the end.

I'm glad to be out of that place and away from them.

I know what you mean about one more black mark. It's discrimination, and it is an outrage, but maybe some day people will realize that not everyone is going to go goo goo gaa gaa over their babies, or automatically think their kid is cuter than a little puppy...

[sirrahbed]

Originally posted by slick
all the while trying not to throw up at the sight of a newborn baby fresh out of the oven and not cleaned up yet...
Well, I love babies, but THIS is a little much to put in an album for the office! IMO

The last picture was of the family dog. I have taken to keeping pictures of my kitties in my purse! Funny but I never carried pictures of my kids because EVERYONE had kid pictures and I figured people were bored with MY angels. I get some pretty fuuny looks when I whip out my current baby pictures!!

[CathyBogart]

Sorry if that will affect you in the long run Slick, but I did find it rather comical. I've stopped even pretending anymore. I don't react negatively, I usually just smile and say something obvious like, "Wow, she's very small!" which seems to satisfy anyone who knows me. ^_^

[catland]

Originally posted by slick
A funny thing happened at work yesterday....

The last picture was of the family dog. I went nuts over this little cutie-pie and at the end of the conversation she made a comment that I liked the dog better than the kid. (which was true, by the way).

ok, in this vein I also have a similar story to share. I used to work with a woman who is my age who just oozes maternal instinct. She is a mother of one daughter (back then in her late teens), and absolutely loves and adores babies. Her computer monitor was bordered by baby pictures of the babies of co-workers.

Ok, so one day she found out that one of the women here was pregnant - not someone that I even knew very well. So she's telling me and another co-worker (much more like me and not maternal) - oh - did you know <> is pregnant?

We shared the identical reaction of "so?"

she repeated herself - "don't you understand - a BAAABBIIIIEEEE"

Once again our reaction was "so?"

then she said - "oh you two, if I had said puppies you both would have been so excited..."

This time our reaction was..."PUPPIIEEESSSSSSS "

[slick]

Originally posted by catland
then she said - "oh you two, if I had said puppies you both would have been so excited..."

This time our reaction was..."PUPPIIEEESSSSSSS "

That's too funny. You know the odd thing is that everyone here (up to the CEO) knows I'm an animal lover and I have one wall dedicated to animal pictures. (Bassett, Tubby and Peanut are up there ) I would think that that would be enough of an indication NOT to show me skin-kid pictures.

[dukedogsmom]

That is so funny! That would have been me as well. There's a couple in here that has to switch out their kids(he works days, her nights) and she always has to come by me and make me acknowledge the kids. "Say hello to Ms Val" Kind of gets on my nerves.

[Cincy'sMom]

Where I used to work, it was the same story. There were one or two with new babies, and they would bring them in. Some of would almost hide becuase we didn't want to have to goo goo and ga ga over the new baby...and I admit some of that reaction was a reflection of the parent's nt the kids, but still.

At the same time, we had a lot of back door meetings of any dogs. You got a new dog, it had to make an apperance. (Being a chemical manufactirer none of us wanted out dogs in there!)
Even the guy we came in once a week to pick up our methanol waste brough in his new pup! There was a couple other businesses in the same complex that had truck drivers that took their dogs onthe rode...we often snuck out to visit with them too and always knew when someone had gotten a new dog

[catland]

regarding the whole co-worker thing - I also think that a part of it depends on your relationship with a particular co-worker.

One woman here became a grandmother again a few months ago. She has a picture of the little guy as her wallpaper on her computer. Because I genuinely like this person, it was really easy for me to gush over her grandson.

But by the same token, she didn't force the picture on anyone, so that makes a difference too.