Sorry to hear this... . Don't feel bad about venting here! We are all ONE bunch of friends, and we are there whenever you need a good shoulder!!!
It is normal that the coming days are so difficult to you. You say it will be 1 year since your dad passed away. That "1-year" day, the holidays, his birthday, all these days are the hardest to pass. Losing a parent is very hard to take . Believe me, it will get easier day by day. Don't force your grief, it is VERY good for you. I know it sounds hard to believe, but others will agree with me.

{{{{{HUGS !!!!}}}}}