Aly, what you are experiencing is grief, and it is a natural thing for you to go through. Some of us have experienced grief in making the choice of euthanization for a very sick or infirm furkid. There is no manual for these decisions, no place where it is written out for what is the "right" thing to do, consequently we are filled with conflicting thoughts and emotions...with doubt as well as loss and the enormity of the responsibility to our little loved one.

If any of us felt that the choices you have made were casually made or ill conceived, you should know that we would have spoken up in a heart beat and given you more unsolicited advice than you could even imagine. I doubt that there is anyone on this board who doesn't feel that you made the right decision for Shiloh or for Harley. Yes, you will miss him, but please, please, don't doubt the choice you made. You made the best choice that was humanly possible given all the circumstances and conditions that prevailed. And yes, this grief you feel will be with you for awhile. But you have to work at not letting it consume you. After I finally made the decision to have my dear, sweet Tizzie euthanized, I was in such a state. I had to limit the times which I would allow myself to even think about it. I selected the times I was taking a bath or shower. Those where the times I cried and cried. Other times, I just didn't allow myself to think about it. This let me grieve, but not go into a depression. Now try to get a lot of rest and eat with nutrition in mind as you have been under much stress. Our thoughts are with you.

[This message has been edited by RachelJ (edited April 21, 2001).]