Thanks to all who answered - I was not looking for this but appreciate it anyway. I most always like to come to PT. I know that when this happens - it worries Dennis and he is afraid to leave the house lest I attempt to end my life again but I am not at that point at all.

I am very frustrated that this black mood returns still. Much is the isolation I live in, much is the physically painful problems (migraine and herniated cervical disc) that I am denied medication for because I am deemed "unsafe" now and much is the *psycho* label I have earned, even though I know good and well I am not.

The "nice" things some of you folks have mentioned are part of the trouble I face. Too much empathy tears at my heart and political activism makes me a target of hate. I don't feel worthless, I feel exhausted.

Thank you again to those who answered and sent me PMs.