Dear Uncle Cubby,
The orange d-o-g cousin came and spent all Christmas day in the house. All the other kitties finally went out to visit her but not me. They are not smart like me. I hid behind the dryer and my daddy did not find me until night time!! Now I heard Meowmie on the phone and my black d-o-g cousin is coming tomorrow and will spend the night and sleep in one of my beds!! A D-O-G in one of my beds? She better not LICK me like your d-o-g did or I will scratch her again!! Yes, that took a lot of nerve to lick YORE body in YORE house!! This is MY house but Meowmie keeps telling me I have to learn to be nice! Maybe your Meowmie will get you another superior cat!! Your Meowmie kicks you out of bed for being bad to her legs? Aw darn. Get a pillow instead
Love, Robbie