Am I the only one who feels this way...or has PT really changed recently?

**K9soul** · 12-23-2004, 10:33 AM

I agree with many many statements made by various people, some of the statements might even be conflicting but that doesn't make both not be true in some ways. I agree PT has felt different the past few months, though I've been here a bit over a year and may not really be considered an "old-timer."

I agree that threads like this can be discouraging, but I agree they can be enlightening too.

I agree that it's sad some people's posts, especially the newer people's, tend to go unanswered, but I agree it can get hard when this is such a big community, and you want to answer both your friend's posts and newer folks' posts but have limited time. Gosh I don't want the wonderful friends I've made here to feel neglected or ignored, and I WANT to catch all their posts and reply, but just as much hate seeing people feel left out and ignored because they are new or feel unliked.

I agree that people can be judgmental or say hurtful things when others do something they don't understand, but also that everyone is different, has different opinions, and judging those people, getting angry and turning to bash them, doesn't help anything but makes the problem worse. The thing that speaks loudest to me is never someone yelling at me that they are disgusted by what I said or did, but by watching someone else respond in the way I should have, with love and compassion and without judgment. Leading by example. A n example of support and compassion is spoiled when the person turns around and bashes somebody else for not reacting the same way, and perpetuates the arguing and bad feelings, this is just my opinion.

That said, I'm going to turn around and make a statement that is not aimed at anyone in particular but just something that bothers me. I wish people would not utilize the rolleyes emoticon at all towards other posters on this board. It makes my heart sick whenever I see it used towards someone. If I saw it used towards me or something I said, I'd feel stupid. When I was in school, I wasn't one of the popular kids. When I tried to join in and make a joke or conversation, some of the girls would roll their eyes at what I said and then laugh together. I wanted to crawl under a rock I felt so humiliated, and to this day I struggle with having the courage to join in and express myself when I'm with people I don't know. I get that same feeling when I see the emoticon here when it's aimed at another person. It hurts even though it's not directed at me. I have used it towards a poster once since I've been here, I remember exactly which post (I believed the person was a troll), and still regret it. It was rude and unnecessary, and I felt so bad I eventually went back and deleted the post with it.

I agree it's up to each of us to make PT a better place, to put some effort into it. What if every person made some commitment in their own mind to make sure one post a day was to welcome a newer person to the board, or to dog/cat/pet of the day, or to give advice on a behavior or health thread, or to give solace in a memorial thread? If every one here decided to do just one of those things even every other day or so, think of the love and support that would put out. I'm just as guilty as the next for thinking "I just don't have time." "I've got too much going on in my own life." etc. etc. For me, I think the worst excuse is that if I post to one the rest will feel left out because I don't have time to post to all of them, so what do I do? I don't post to any! That's not helping anything.

Now honestly though, I have had so much going on. I had problems with my arm, my husband was unemployed for months, I have had extreme pressure from my job, and so on and so forth. I've let all that take over though and left PT behind for weeks now. I didn't even really post when my husband finally got hired again. I thought about it but for some reason I just felt like it wasn't something really of interest to the majority here. I think I had gone so long without really sharing that I just got used to not sharing so much.

This is certainly longer than I intended and I'm now half an hour late getting started on work, but I want to also say: Starting today, because of this post, I'm going to make more of an effort to at least post once, maybe just a couple lines, to one of the pets of the day, or to someone needing comfort, or to someone new to the board, or to someone who posted pics and isn't getting responses. I may not get to everyone, but I will make at least some small difference, and that is the only way to start.

**RICHARD** · 12-23-2004, 01:21 PM

The changes reflect time itself.

I love PT and it's the only site I visit regularly.

I don't have the time or desire to go surfing anyplace else.

-------------------------------
Some people do not see that change is the natural progression of life.

Some people want things to stay the same forever.

Other people see the change, accept it or get left behind.

Some people complain, complain and complain.

I have to laugh when I see people who complain about things that they refuse to change in their personal lives because they do not want to impact their little sphere of comfort.

But they sure will make a huge mountain out of a molehill to get their little agendas heard on the role call----

It's quite entertaining to see people who have absolutely no desire or guts to change a social issue that impacts their safety, health or standard of living, get the cojones to make a huge stink about things that have little or no impact on them.

Watch them go to pot over a thread on a website....
And heaven forbid you reply to them, they automatically start to whimper about people piling on and being rude or inappropriate.

They are more offended by people on a website than they are by people they see everyday- friends, coworker and classmates.

Go figure.

My goodness,

When it comes to taking the bull by the horns they's rather sit behind the fence and cry about how the bull is being mistreated because he lives in a pen, gets fed every days and is treated better than most of us in our everyday lives.

Let the bull run free, as long as it's under THEIR TERMS.

---------------------------------------------

I like to think that we all have lives that revolve around our pets. but we also have the lives that revolve around other aspects in our lives.

I appreciate the job that Karen and Paul do to keep PT running. I also appreciate the latitude of the topics that they have allowed us to explore.

It's just too bad that immature people, people who cannot handle some jokes or topics outside the realm of animal issues,
cannot skip a thread that they may think might not be their cup of tea.

I think that squeaky wheels are important in life.

They remind you how nice it is when you walk instead of jumping into a topic and putting yourself under an 'auditory' assault.

**Karen** · 12-23-2004, 01:27 PM

Thanks to everyone for their comments, and to everyone who is going to try to post more (yay!) and more positively!

**RICHARD** · 12-23-2004, 01:33 PM

Originally posted by Karen
Thanks to everyone for their comments, and to everyone who is going to try to post more (yay!) and more positively!

We do have to get that millionth post in.....

**Kfamr** · 12-23-2004, 01:43 PM

I know quite a few posts have been specifically pointed towards me in here. I know this, because they're coming from people who dislike me.

I know a lot of people on here with i'm some immature, heartless little child.
These are the same people who have NEVER taken the chance to actually get to know *ME* These are the same people whom call me judgemental yet have never taken the oppurtunity to see where i'm coming from. SO many things are said to me via-PM, Livejournal, AIM -- No one sees them, except me and a few others. Yet the people who say things to me act like they've NEVER said a mean word to me in their life on here, thus since I treat them the same way they treat me, PT seems to think that i'm the wrong-doer. I treat people the same way, no matter where. Going from one website to another isn't going to make my opinion of a person change, the way I treat them change, or the way they treated me change.

Yes, I'll admit i've said some wrong things in the past. Yes, I admit that at times, I can be judgemental... when it comes to animals, especially.
I do think i've grown a lot mentally and matured. I do think i'm a lot better than I used to be. People do like to dwell in the past, though.
But must we dwell in the past? Are we incapable of moving on?

I guess that may sound a bit hypocritical since i've been saying how PT has changed and i'd love for it to be the way it used to be. But, who could blame me? I've grown so attached to this place over the years i've been here. I've made so many wonderful friends, grown so attached to their animals, a lot of the time I think of them as my actually family. And many of them have moved on, many of them have left. I've found mysefl not wanting to be here anymore. I've found myself looking for new forums to share my dogs with. Yes, this makes me sad, and this makes me wish things were back to how they used to be.

I and many others think a lot of PT's problems have to do with the lack of moderators. Karen does an alright job for one person. I understand she is only one person and can only be here for a certain amount of time. But that's the problem, she is only ONE person. If I were her, I'd take some well-respected PT members and appoint them moderators. In example- Aly, Sandra, Jessica, etc. All three are great examples of whom always see *both* sides of the story.

Another suggestion possibly, is to make seperate picture sections.
Dog Pictures, Cat Pictures, Pet Pictures, General Pictures.
This way picture threads won't get burried so easily, like has been commented on.

I really do want PT to be a better place. Recently i've patched up things with quite a few people i've had "tiffs" with in the past. I'm only capable of doing this is others are capable of forgiving and forgetting, and understanding.

**RICHARD** · 12-23-2004, 01:52 PM

Originally posted by RICHARD

I think that squeaky wheels are important in life.

They remind you how nice it is when you walk instead of jumping into a topic and putting yourself under an 'auditory' assault.

http://www.wd40.com/Brands/wd40.cfm

**micki76** · 12-23-2004, 01:53 PM

Originally posted by Kfamr
Recently i've patched up things with quite a few people i've had "tiffs" with in the past. I'm only capable of doing this is others are capable of forgiving and forgetting, and understanding.

And I'm so glad that you and I were able to do this.

I consider you a good friend, Kay. It took us awhile, but once we put all that crap behind us look at us now.

There was even a subject recently where you and I disagreed, but we were still able to be civil to each other on PT and off. I'm very grateful for that, and for your friendship.

Ew. That was smarmy wasn't it?

**popcornbird** · 12-23-2004, 01:57 PM

Maybe the first step we should take to make PT a better place again is to forgive everyone we've had issues with, forget their mistakes of the past, and start a new page in life. I didn't make this thread for people to complain about the past. What has happened last year, two years ago, three years ago, etc. is long gone and over with. People do change with time, especially younger people, as they have lots to learn in life. I know I wasn't the best of members in the past either, but I know that I have positively changed in several ways. I know others have changed too. I made this thread so it gives us some thoughts about things we did wrong in the past....things we can learn lessons from and change for the good. I made it so we can focus on the future, and make the FUTURE of PT the best it has ever been. We can't make PT great alone. We need to get together to do it.

**slick** · 12-23-2004, 01:59 PM

I must be very stupid.......
I've been on for two years and the only change I've seen are more members and tolls coming and going. I'm not bored with Pet Talk and as far as those "pointless" and "I'm bored" threads are concerned...I just don't read. Simple as that.

The only change I would like to see is a separate section for games and puzzles. They really do clog up the General Section.

**Tonya** · 12-23-2004, 02:05 PM

Originally posted by Kfamr
I know quite a few posts have been specifically pointed towards me in here. I know this, because they're coming from people who dislike me.

I know a lot of people on here with i'm some immature, heartless little child.
These are the same people who have NEVER taken the chance to actually get to know *ME* These are the same people whom call me judgemental yet have never taken the oppurtunity to see where i'm coming from. SO many things are said to me via-PM, Livejournal, AIM -- No one sees them, except me and a few others. Yet the people who say things to me act like they've NEVER said a mean word to me in their life on here, thus since I treat them the same way they treat me, PT seems to think that i'm the wrong-doer. I treat people the same way, no matter where. Going from one website to another isn't going to make my opinion of a person change, the way I treat them change, or the way they treated me change.

Yes, I'll admit i've said some wrong things in the past. Yes, I admit that at times, I can be judgemental... when it comes to animals, especially.
I do think i've grown a lot mentally and matured. I do think i'm a lot better than I used to be. People do like to dwell in the past, though.
But must we dwell in the past? Are we incapable of moving on?

I guess that may sound a bit hypocritical since i've been saying how PT has changed and i'd love for it to be the way it used to be. But, who could blame me? I've grown so attached to this place over the years i've been here. I've made so many wonderful friends, grown so attached to their animals, a lot of the time I think of them as my actually family. And many of them have moved on, many of them have left. I've found mysefl not wanting to be here anymore. I've found myself looking for new forums to share my dogs with. Yes, this makes me sad, and this makes me wish things were back to how they used to be.

I and many others think a lot of PT's problems have to do with the lack of moderators. Karen does an alright job for one person. I understand she is only one person and can only be here for a certain amount of time. But that's the problem, she is only ONE person. If I were her, I'd take some well-respected PT members and appoint them moderators. In example- Aly, Sandra, Jessica, etc. All three are great examples of whom always see *both* sides of the story.

Another suggestion possibly, is to make seperate picture sections.
Dog Pictures, Cat Pictures, Pet Pictures, General Pictures.
This way picture threads won't get burried so easily, like has been commented on.

I really do want PT to be a better place. Recently i've patched up things with quite a few people i've had "tiffs" with in the past. I'm only capable of doing this is others are capable of forgiving and forgetting, and understanding.

I got to know you for over a year before I even said anything. I've given you more then enough opportunity to prove how sweet and compassionate you are. You have done and said alot of very cruel things to alot of people on PT. I'll admit, you have cleaned up alot. But my heart still hurts for all those people that you've damaged in the past.

**Kfamr** · 12-23-2004, 02:08 PM

Originally posted by Tonya
I got to know you for over a year before I even said anything. I've given you more then enough opportunity to prove how sweet and compassionate you are. You have done and said alot of very cruel things to alot of people on PT. I'll admit, you have cleaned up alot. But my heart still hurts for all those people that you've damaged in the past.

I do not believe you've given me a chance like the many friends I have here. Not at all.

You, and others, really have no clue whatsoever of who I am.
We've exchanged maybe 5 PM's at the most. That's really no way for you to know me, or for me to know you.

And like I said, why dwell in the past? Are we incapable of moving on? Lets be "adults".

**popcornbird** · 12-23-2004, 02:12 PM

*sigh*

I did NOT make this thread for people to start bashing others. Like I said...people do change as they grow, in one way or the other. Kay and I have had our fair share of fights in the past...but I do hope we can get over it someday. I don't want to fight with anyone anymore. I want to learn to be more forgiving. Obviously forgiveness goes both ways though. I know Kay has made mistakes in the past, but she's not alone. None of us are completely innocent. PT's never going to get better unless we realize the problems within ourselves too.

Yes I know you're all going to faint after seeing this post of mine, but I'm hoping to be over with my 'hateful fights'. I'm older now, and should know better. If someone's arguing, that doesn't mean I have to argue back.

Really though...I do wish to forgive and forget. It just might help make the atmosphere on PT a little better. I wish we could all forgive, forget, and change ourselves for the good. We all make mistakes. We're human beings. If we can realize our mistakes and change ourselves, I think that should erase the problems of the past. That is something I feel we ALL (myself included) need to do.

**carole** · 12-23-2004, 02:17 PM

I really believe PT is what YOU make it, I have been here almost 2 years now, and yes there have been some changes, but not enough to make me leave, I still look forward to my daily fix of PT.

I try to answer as many threads as I can, I don't answer them because I feel I know the person, or for any judgemental reasons, age does not come into it, I think you will find me in all sorts of threads, whether written by newbie's, young or old, controversial, funny, sad, although I tend to try and keep away from the animal cruelty ones, because I can't handle it.

Emotions run high sometimes, and we let them get in the way, and we end up with those argumentative threads, even though no-one really enjoys them, I guess it is a part of human nature.

I appauld Karen and Paul for their job, it is a toughie, and IMO they are doing the best they possibly can.

I think what YOU put into it, YOU will get back, one has to take some things with a grain of salt, and not take it too much to heart,having said that I have had my own feelings hurt once or twice, but I feel I have moved on,and put it all behind me., and even have a healthy respect for that person now, I guess its call forgiveness.

P.S one thing I learn't was to put it all into perspective, getting myself upset for days over someones comments, was just silly, I had much more important issues in real life to deal with,and just had to put these feelings on the back-burner and get over it. It wasn't easy, but better for my own well-being.

**RICHARD** · 12-23-2004, 02:23 PM

Originally posted by popcornbird
If we can realize our mistakes and change ourselves, I think that should erase the problems of the past. That is something I feel we ALL (myself included) need to do.

Count me in.

http://www.staples.com/Catalog/Brows...e=1&Sku=271031

**catland** · 12-23-2004, 02:31 PM

Originally posted by carole
I really believe PT is what YOU make it, I have been here almost 2 years now, and yes there have been some changes, but not enough to make me leave, I still look forward to my daily fix of PT.

Works for me.

Richard - lol