I understand what you are going through. My parents divorced too and the holidays are always hard. Usually I spent part of the holiday way both of my parents and then when I was on my own, I spent it at home because I felt too bad for seeing just one of them on Christmas. This year I chose to spend Thanksgiving with my dad and Christmas with my mom and explained this to both of them. No hard feelings and they both understood. Divorce is really hard and painful on the entire family especially the children.