I'm really glad that you, RottiMommy49, have brought this up. While my heart aches for the whole situation, there was one thing that really stuck out here to me:

And it's not fair to Bella and myself having to worry about Arthur's aggression
(This was taken from here) I'm sorry, but even tho' it doesn't seem fair to you, it's called responsibility. Maybe that's not what you meant in that quote, but it's how it came across. It just makes it that much more cruel and unnecessary. Was every other possibility thought about????

Let me say too, I am really sorry for your loss. Life is harsh and cruel sometimes.