I have to agree with Craftlady. It really is best for both of you if you keep her in her carrier, especially since you don't know how she'll be when you let her out. She may be climbing all over the place - and all over you, and under your feet and get caught under the seat and....well...you get the idea. How long is the drive? When I brought T & P from Green Bay, WI to Chicago (3 hour drive) I gave them a sedative. For Peanut it was great. She stayed in her little carrier and I didn't hear a peep out of her. Tubby on the other hand, who has never been in a carrier as long as I've had him, was ALL over the car and meowing and trying to look out the window and meowing and stumbling around from the sedative and meowing and climbing and meowing and....well..it was a nightmare. I don't know as I recommend the sedative, but it is an option.

One thing that might help calm her down is if you put a favorite blanket or something in the carrier with her, maybe a stuffed toy, or anything that will fit that has the smell of "home."

Good luck. I think a trip home might do you good right now so you can grieve with your family.