Kim you are right! I know there are a lot of people here who volunteer or have been to some really nice shelters where the cats roam free and are very well cared for. The sad fact is that is not the norm. My shelter is a very good place with great vet care and lots of food and bedding but they still live in tiny cages and some of them will be there for years if not their whole life. I have the 7 to 9 ferals that come here and eat and I know people think I should trap them and get them to the shelter. I will get them fixed but I won't leave them there. The ferals will never be adopted because no one has the time to spend working with them. People only want the cuddly cats and that is not what they will get with these. I sometimes wonder if I'm wrong by not doing more for them but I wouldn't wish that cage life on any of them. I do my best to provide them with shelter, lots of straw for warmth, all the food they can eat, and fresh water. I pray that I am doing the right thing because I know their lives may be shortened because of this. It's so hard to know if a few short years of freedom is better than many years going stir crazy in a small cage. It comes down the famous question of Quality versus Quantity.
I'm so sorry you are going through this but thankfully it will pass. You will know when the time is right if you should take in any more or not. Just give yourself time because your grief for Tucker is still very fresh. Besides, you can't take anymore now anyway with ringworm. That should give you a breather and help you figure out what is right for you and your family.
Maybe this is a good thing because you need a break. Miracles come in all forms you know!