I hear your dilemma... but as Jan suggested (and I thought yesterday) a second cat would really make a huge difference for her behavior. I see what it did for Allen, and many other here on PT had a lonely cat, then when they added a second one, they saw an improvement in their first cat's temperment and mannerisms. Hubby might balk at the concept, but HONESTLY, once you have two cats, you'll wonder why you didn't get two right away.