Allen is not the most affectionate cat, but he wants to be loved... make no doubt about that. And he tells you LOUDLY when he wants loving. But it took a looong time to get him to that point. It used to be that you could never pet him,and he HATED being picked up or held. He changed considerably when we got Pouncer... have you given any thought to a second cat as a buddy for her? Cats often do better with another cat in the house and it certainly made Allen a much more affectionate cat.