What can I do?

[catnapper]

I have a dear friend who has been going through a very hard time lately - a bad depression, and now she has been heartbroken over something. What can I do to help her? Currently, she is ignoring my calls and e-mails, which I'm sure is because she can't bear to face anyone right now. I feel terrible for her and want to help, but I don't know WHAT or HOW.

This friend means a lot to me, and I feel guilty I wasn't able to help her before it got to this point where she is completely and utterly heartbroken. Can I help her now? Will she listen to me? I have the feeling she's completely shutdown and closed herself off from the world right now. My heart breaks for her.

[Kfamr]

Maybe send her a card or letter stating how you feel, like what you told us.

You'd like to help her and you're there for her if she needs you.

[DJFyrewolf36]

Having been in a state of mind where even looking at people seemed impossible I can only offer advice from that perspective. When I was down, I felt that being alone was best but deep down I wanted someone to confide in. I did ignore phone calls and emai, eventually my SO at the time just came over and practically beat down my door! I was mad but at the same time I was happy that someone cared that much. I would keep phoning and emailing...give her a day or two though to recover as emotions can really beat the crud out of you! I would however be concerned and if it gets to be a long time of her ignoring you, Id physically go see what was up. She may get mad but after the intial anger she will probibly be glad you cared for her and her well being.

Be there for her as much as you can. It sounds like she needs you!

Wish I could be more helpful

[Tonya]

I just sent a card to a friend of mine for something similar. I put something like:

...It breaks my heart to see you hurting so bad. I wish that I could do something to make all the pain go away. I want to be there for you but I understand that you want to be alone right now. I just want to let you know that I am here for you when you are ready. If there is anything that I can do please let me know...

[KYS]

I agree cards is a great idea.
A long distance friend and I were going through a divorce at the same time. Her divorce is still dragging on.
(and she disconnected her internet)
I am not much of a phone person,
so we have been sending each-other cards with supportive notes sometimes including little stuff like an angel pin,
book mark or pics of the dogs.

catnapper, believe me she will appreciate you being their
in what ever way you can. When she is ready she
will let you know. She might be ignoring your e-mails but
I bet she is reading them.
((hugs))

[catnapper]

Thank you everyone. Its so hard to see soemone else hurting, and know there's not much you can do about it.

I did finally get a hold of her tonight and we talked for a bit. I hope she'll start feeling positive again soon.

[Fox-Gal]

I went through this myself, I was so down I shut off the world. I lost almost all my friends because they got tired of it all. But this one long time friend didn't give up on me.

I'll just tell you what she did for me that worked. It's started with the normal messages, call me etc etc, of course I didn't call. Then the fun begain.........I get messages on my voice mail of her telling me jokes or silly off the wall things about her. Once she even called and said "Help I'm growing a tail....call me or come over and pull my tail" lol She even sent me a small stuff teddy bear with a wonderful card in it's arms. After awhile, I couldn't help but smile and laugh at her and feel so special that she did all this just to bring me out of it.

There was even a few days where she come over to the house and bring my silly things. I got a I miss you cake, some x-rated cookies She even made me a mini vaction to Hawaii.

They say laughter the best medicine.....worked for me.

Don't know your friend, so jokes, x-rated cookies, etc might not work for her.............but I bet the teddy bear will. Who doesn't like a stuff teddy bear.

[Tonya]

Originally posted by Fox-Gal
I went through this myself, I was so down I shut off the world. I lost almost all my friends because they got tired of it all. But this one long time friend didn't give up on me.

I'll just tell you what she did for me that worked. It's started with the normal messages, call me etc etc, of course I didn't call. Then the fun begain.........I get messages on my voice mail of her telling me jokes or silly off the wall things about her. Once she even called and said "Help I'm growing a tail....call me or come over and pull my tail" lol She even sent me a small stuff teddy bear with a wonderful card in it's arms. After awhile, I couldn't help but smile and laugh at her and feel so special that she did all this just to bring me out of it.

There was even a few days where she come over to the house and bring my silly things. I got a I miss you cake, some x-rated cookies She even made me a mini vaction to Hawaii.

They say laughter the best medicine.....worked for me.

Don't know your friend, so jokes, x-rated cookies, etc might not work for her.............but I bet the teddy bear will. Who doesn't like a stuff teddy bear.

That sounds like a wonderful best friend. I wish that I had someone close to me like that. You are very blessed.

[Fox-Gal]

Originally posted by Tonya
That sounds like a wonderful best friend. I wish that I had someone close to me like that. You are very blessed.

Yes I was very blessed. She's gone now........I still miss her everyday, she was special. I would give anything to have another friend like that......... I could use another one right about now.