Oh Amber. I know exactly how you feel.

Eid (our Muslim holiday) is this weekend. Its a very special time for us, a time to spend with family, exchange gifts, be thankful for our blessings, etc. The thing is, we don't have family here. I have an uncle in Chicago, but my dad and my uncle haven't really had the best of relationships ever since I was a child. I mean...they're 'ok' with each other now...they call each other, and I can see things getting better, but sometimes in the past, they would go for YEARS without calling each other. My mom and my uncle's wife used to call each other.....the 'sister-in-laws', and that was our contact with each other. The brothers (my dad and uncle) didn't talk at all. Now things are getting better between them...thank God. Still, they are not coming to spend Eid with us, nor will we go there. Other closest family member is an uncle who lives in Canada. My dad didn't have the best relationship with that brother either when before we were born. When we were little kids though, things were okay. We would always drive to Canada to see them, and they would drive down here to see us. Last time they came, my dad and his brother had an argument, and they've been pretty much 'cut off' since then. *sigh* We still talk to his kids online, but between the brothers, things aren't too good. The rest of our family all live in other parts of the world. Not ONCE in my LIFE have I spent any holiday with relatives. Not once. When I go to visit my friends on Eid, and they have relatives over, it makes me 'feel' an intense sadness, and makes me wish I had my aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. nearby too. I mean, we have SO many friends and a whole community to celebrate with, and we always enjoy it, and always visit and exchange gifts with friends, but family's just different, you know? Its a different feeling, and living so far from them, we don't even get to be together on holidays.

Next time you feel this way, think of me. At least you have celebrated occasions with your family every year before. I have never had that opportunity in my life. I'm thankful for my mom, dad, and brother. For me, that's the family I celebrate with, and we're so close to our friends that they're almost family now too. I still wish our relatives were included in the celebrations though. The most we can do is give them a call, or send them cards.