Leslie,
Are you allowed to install your own deadbolt? It would seem to me that this is your home, and as long as you are complying with the rules of the apartment complex, that they have no right to come into your "home" unless you are aware of it.

I'm thinking a second deadbolt would do the trick.

Please hug our laughing Graham for me. I am just so angered that he has to put up with this and that you do too.

Logan