That's why I get really sad sometimes. I think about Duke being 11 1/2, wondering how much longer he'll be around. That's why I'm not going to see brother for Christmas. Don't want to have to board him on what might be his last Christmas. I don't know why I think that. It terrifies me to even think of life without him. I just dread the day when I lose him. So, I know exactly how you feel.