Well, this is a little fantasy, but I'd *like* to do this:

I'd take a leash and collar and tie the dog to their door or something and stuff a little note in the collar saying:

Dear Mommy and Daddy,

I know I haven't been a good dog and I know I do many bad things inside the house. But I really love you, and all I want is to sleep in your arms by the fire inside of the house and know that I'm safe. All I ask is to be fed, loved, and taken care of. Please, Mommy and Daddy, let me inside the house. I really do want to be a good doggie and not jump on the furniture, but I can't learn these things [manners] without being inside the house. Mommy, all I want to do is to find attention and be loved. But, sometimes you and Daddy lock me outside of the house. It makes me sad to be alone out there, so I escape to find you.

Love,

-Insert dog's name-

Gosh, I wish I could do that...