I'm so sorry about your loss RIP Ember. I know what you mean about the "what ifs" - my family and I went through them when we suddenly lost Brooke after leg surgery. Try not to blame yourself or you'll never make peace with her death. Just remember the good times. When Brooke died my mom and I said that even if we knew before we got her that we would lose her at 7, but she would be the best thing to ever enter our lives and we would love her with all of our heart - we would have still gotten her. Though its hard right now, try to consider yourself blessed to have had her in your life - even if it was for a short time.