These are the ones I've been guilty of:

You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are nose-prints all over the inside.

Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other. Most often the question, "Has he pooped for you yet today?"--as if it's a special gift, or something!

You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy.

You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but he understands.

You have little songs that you sing to your dog, and he always wags when you sing, even though you can't carry a tune.

Your dog eats cat poop, but you still let him kiss you (but not immediately afterward, of course).

You like people who like your dog. You distrust people who don't. (I changed "despise" to "distrust.")

You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid.

You meet someone when out walking your dogs and you introduce your dogs first.

Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter remedy from the Chemist.

All of your charitable donations go to dog-related and humane society groups. (Well, I donate to bat conservation groups, mainly.)

You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but no one else's).

You are the only idiot out walking in the pouring rain, but your dog needs his walk.

You don't go out for drinks with co-workers any more because you need to go home and see your dog.

You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case your dog gets thirsty at night. Makes sense to me!

You avoid vacuming the house as long as possible because your dog is afraid of the vacum cleaner.

You keep eating even after finding a dog hair in your pasta.