1. You remember when Jordache jeans with a flat-handle comb in the back pocket was cool.
Yep. I was at the height of fashion with my Jordaches with my comb in the back pocket.

3. You know any "Weird Al" Yankovic songs by heart.
I'm so embarrassed...

4. You've ever rung someone's doorbell and said "Landshark!"
Oh my God... I'm guilty.

5. You were once bowled over by the technological excellence of such products as Atari, IntelliVision, TelStar and Coleco.
Dude! IntelliVision rocked! My brother and I played for hours on that thing! My favorite games were Lock-n-Chase and Dungeons and Dragons!

7. You and your friends ever discussed having a reunion at the end of the century and playing Prince's "1999" until you passed out partying.
God, I was such a nerd.

10. You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the minivan.
When I was really little, we had a 1978 ORANGE and fake woodgrained Ford Pinto Wagon. Then we got a 1982 white Ford Granada sedan. Those were our family trip cars.

11. (Related to No. 10) You rode in the back of the stationwagon
facing the cars behind you.
See previous answer.

12. You've recently horrified yourself by using any one of the
following phrases: "You know, back when...," "When I was your
age...," or "When I was younger..."
All the freakin' time! What is up with that?!

13. Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you learned things like grammar, math and history. (A big hint here is if the only way you can recite the Preamble to the Constitution is by singing it.)
Hey, do you know about the U.S.A.? / Do you know about the government? / Can you tell me about the Constitution? / Hey, learn about the U.S.A. / In 1787 I'm told / Our founding fathers did agree / To write a list of principles / For keepin' people free...

14. You ever dressed to look like someone in a Madonna, Cyndi Lauper or Duran Duran video.
Cyndi, minus the bright orange and shaved hair.

15. You remember your first kiss with someone having happened while either "Leather and Lace" or "Crazy for You" was playing.
Eighth Grade Farewell Dance, "Crazy for You", Donny Baumer.

UGH!!

16. You remember with pain the day the Green Machine hit the streets (or the sidewalks), instantly making your Big Wheel obsolete.
BIG WHEELS!!! OMG!!!! HAAAAHAHAHAHHAAHA!!!

17. The age-old question "Where's the beef?" still makes you laugh.
ROLFMAO...

19. You had a crush on Ted the photographer on "Love Boat," Gage from "Emergency," or Ponch from "CHIPS."
No. My first crushes were Ronald Reagan and Kenny Rogers. SHUT UP!!!

20. Your hair at some point in time in the '80s could only be
described by saying "I was experimenting."
Honestly, why on earth would I think that curling my bangs STRAIGHT UP looked good?

21. You've ever shopped at Benetton.
If you didn't have a Benetton sweatshirt for every day of the week, you were nobody. *I* was somebody.

28. You know who shot J.R.
Kristen, that bitch. LOL!

29. You recall when Love's Baby Soft was in every girl's Christmas
stocking.
That's ALL I wore for like, 3 years!!! Do they still make that??

31. You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on. (Related item: you were sure that "New Coke" would NEVER catch on.)
New Coke sucked @$$.

32. You know all the words to the double-album set of the "Grease" soundtrack.
Still do, baby!

33. You've ever had a Dorothy Hamill haircut.
It was my mom's fault!

35. "All skate, change directions" means something to you.
HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Bring back roller rinks!!!

36. You've ever owned a pair of rainbow suspenders like the ones Mork used to wear.
They were hand-me-downs from my brother!!!

39. You were too young to see "Blue Lagoon," so you just had to
settle for the second-hand reports.
Christopher Atkins... Mmmmm...

42. You remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector
switch. and your "cable remote" was connected to the TV by a CORD!
Hell, i remember when you had to *gasp* GET UP TO CHANGE THE CHANNELS!!!

43. Your jaw would ache by the time you finished one of those brick- sized packages of Bazooka!
Oh my God. I completely forgot about that pain. *Note to self, pick up some Bazooka on my way home...*

44. You remember Bo and Luke Duke, Daisy, Boss Hogg, or-worst of all- what Sheriff Roscoe's full name was.
Roscoe. Roscoe P. Coletrain.

Somebody shoot me now.

45. Your parents paid $2,000 for a top-loading VCR that was almost the size of a coffee table.
They just got rid of it two years ago...

46. You found nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together.
THEY'RE NOT GAY!!!

47. You remember having a rotary phone.
Yeah, and?...

48. You actually believed that Mikey, famed kid on the Life cereal
commercials, died after eating Pop Rocks and drinking a Coke.
You mean Mikey's still alive!?

50. And lastly, I'll make a song stick in your head for the rest of
the day: ....you actually remember the words to the theme song
of "The Greatest American Hero." ("BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I'M WALKIN' ON AIR... I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD FEEL SO FREE-EE-EE...")

Flying away on a wing and a prayer.
Who could it be?
Believe it or not it's just me!!