Okay, I am in tears here after having just finished my letter to Sam. I should've waited until tonight but I couldn't. So here you go, my letter to Samantha.



My dearest Samantha,

I didn’t want a dog. I hadn’t even remotely thought of getting a dog. And then you walked into my life – or should I say, bounded into it. It was just a regular lazy August Sunday afternoon, until Martha knocked on our backdoor and asked if we knew anyone who wanted a puppy. I looked down and there you were, nipping at her heels and playing with your little puppy sister. Then you looked up at me, and my life changed forever.

It took a week of begging my parents to let me take you in. I had to promise them that you would go live with your daddy once he graduated college and got an apartment up here, that you would only live with us for six months – TOPS! I know things weren’t always easy in the beginning – I had never had a puppy before! Several times, I remember breaking down in tears and thinking that I may not have made the right decision… but then I’d get home and you’d greet me at the door and look up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and I’d fall in love with you all over again.

You didn’t go to live with your daddy after six months. You didn’t leave that house until your daddy and I bought one of our own, got married and we all moved in together this past June. That was 22 months after you came to live with me. The night my parents dropped you off at my new house, they cried. Not because their daughter was grown up and married, but because Samantha wouldn’t be living with them anymore.

You are an amazing, amazing puppy, Samantha. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a beautiful, sweet, loving best friend like you, but whatever it is, I’m glad I did it. Do you realize how many people you have wrapped around your paws? Me, Daddy, Granmommy, Grandaddy, Uncle Robbie, all Mommy’s friends, any one you meet. No one can believe that a dog could be as sweet and as loving as you are. No one can believe that a dog has such a personality, but they believe it when they see you.

Everyday I strive to be the person that you think I am, Sam. Everyday, I put your needs before mine and rearrange my life to suit yours. Do you know that sometimes, I say I came into work a little early just so I can leave a little early and come home and see you? Do you know that I’m more often late to work than not, just so I can cuddle a few extra minutes with you in the morning? Do you know how my heart melts every time I come home and open the door and you are at the door, tail wagging, just so happy to see me? Your happiness is one of the most important things in my life, Samantha. Words cannot describe the feeling I get when I look at you. You are a perfect, perfect pup.

Samantha, you are my best friend. When I’m sad, you do something silly to make me laugh. When I cry, you lick my face until I laugh. When I am sick, you let me cuddle with you like you understand that a caring touch does wonders. You’re my shadow and even though I tell you that you don’t need to follow me everywhere I go, I’m very glad you do. And I’ve never told you this before, but my biggest fear is losing you. Sometimes when I’m crying and you lick my face to make me stop, it’s because I’m imagining what my life will be like without you in it. It makes me sick to my stomach to know that one day, you won’t greet me at the door, that I won’t be able to blow raspberries into your soft fur, that I won’t hear your light snoring again or laugh at you when Daddy gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and before he’s done, you’ve jumped on the bed in his spot. When it’s time for you to move on, I want you to know that I will never, EVER forget you and a huge piece of my heart will die when you do. Funny, isn’t it? Mommy will never cry more than she will the day you leave her and that’s when she’ll need you and your face lickies the most.

I love you more than words can say, Samantha. You’re not “just” a dog, you are my precious little miracle angel baby girl. Nothing will ever change that. You will never know fear or sadness with me. I will only ever give you the absolute best of everything, and even that isn’t enough because you deserve far better than the best.

Thank you for your unconditional love. Thank you for everything. But most of all, thank you for gracing my life with your presence. For that, I will be forever grateful.

Love always and forever and ever,
Mommy