I'm so sorry for the passing of dear Bigodinho. You are not to blame so please don't let her make you feel bad. Everyone else is right; sometimes when we grieve we say things we don't mean. I remember the night my father died, I screamed at the nurses because he was dead for 15 minutes before they noticed him gone. I later apologized and felt horrible about the way I treated them.

Hugs to you. You did the best you could.