I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time. I don't know what all has been going on except what you explained. Don't take yourself away from everything, though. What I'm saying is don't isolate yourself from the people in your real life that you enjoy being around. Sorry I don't know you better. I think a lot of your posts have been in the cat area where I rarely go. I hope you feel better soon and the right dog will come along. Have you checked petfinder yet? I was there yesterday and saw lots of wonderful dogs needing homes. I agree with Tonya in the fact that I would much rather take care of more puppies than kittens. They are somewhat controlable and cats do what they want